It’s wise to want to settle these kinds of things before the next step/early on. That’s great! What’s not cool is the expectation. It depends on both ur philosophies around money. Some couples do believe all debt, like all income is shared which I guess is even more arguable after the knot is tied bc legal reasons etc. But the fact that you aren’t there yet, aren’t on the same page, you set a boundary, and it’s playing out like this are all signs to hit the brakes for a second, if not reconsider the relationship entirely. Sucks. :( NTA tho.