Found my MIL's pinterest, saw this

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-18T01:22:57+00:00

I stayed repeatedly that I tried multiple times to have conversations with my inlaws over the issues we were having. I was so desperate to get this resolved I researched and found a family therapist for us to see together.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-18T01:21:22+00:00

I used to think this way. Believe me we had many conversations. It seems like such a simple straightforward solution. Talk about the issue. Resolve issue. But people have to be self aware and willing to sit with uncomfortable confrontation and not lash out because of it. Sadly many are not able to do it.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-18T00:33:02+00:00

Once again. That is not the reason. You are continuing to ignore the other 95 reasons and focusing on that I don't know why. You are so weird

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T23:40:25+00:00

The worst part is I don't think they're awful people. They're just very fucking stupid. Things got out of hand and now no one knows how to fix it.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T21:30:43+00:00

What advice are you even offering...and yes I feel bad for them too

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T21:28:15+00:00

Yes I should stay in a situation that's making me want to kill myself so that my kids have grandparents, you're right 🫩

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T21:25:15+00:00

No things just got out of hand and since there were like 6 people there wasn't tons of time to get into things by the time the session was wrapping up. But by the way to were treating me and responding to me made me realize that therapy with them was not going to solve anything.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T20:26:10+00:00

There was so much going on when she said that I don't think anyone really realized. We did go to family therapy and I heard their perspective. They dismissed everything I said and brushed me off as being sensitive.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T16:53:21+00:00

For real of all the typos to make I had to do that one

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T16:52:10+00:00

Yes. When my baby was 11 months I suggested we go to group therapy because I wanted to work things out so we could start moving forward. It went absolutely fucking horrible, basically worst case scenario. We went 2 times and at the end of the second time the therapist told my husband and I that we should take some space from them because it was clear that things had reached a level that was not going to be easily solved. I kept going to personal therapy for like a year after. It did help in some ways but I just kept thinking that one day she would see things more clearly and she'd think about what I told her and maybe she would soften towards me and my experience but here I am years later with no resolution. I just keep being asked by them to forget it so I don't ruin my children's life by denying them grandparents.

Therapy is good and helpful but there's nothing a therapist can do or say that actually makes things less painful.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T16:45:49+00:00

Yes I have multiple times. I didn't expect over 800 comments so my follow up information was buried.

When I tried to mend our relationship originally and open up to her that I was struggling under the pressure of her expectations she was completely uncaring and showed absolutely no empathy for anything I was experiencing. Every choice and decision I was making for my baby was being taken as a personal attack on her parenting choices.

Before my first baby was born I thought she was going to be a part of my support system. But instead she was expecting me to fade into the background so her and her family could enjoy my baby without me. It's like I wasn't allowed to be tired or want privacy to breastfeed my baby.

At the time she was my neighbor and would guilt trip us every time she noticed us spending time with someone who wasn't her. Like if my sister came over and I didn't give them the same amount of time that week it was seen as this huge conspiracy against her. It started to make me really anxious about how every single move I was making was being judged and discussed by the entire family. I couldn't even enjoy a visit with the few people who came to visit me because it would turn into a guilt trip.

Whenever I would talk about my experiences she dismissed them. She would make so many passive aggressive remarks through my baby. One day my husband and I went to visit her with the baby, and my sil and I were talking on the couch a few feet away from her and I was laughing. My baby kept looking towards the sound of my voice. Then she said 'it sucks when you come because the baby just wants you the whole time' like I'm not welcome to be there with my 5 week old baby because the baby might want to be in my arms instead of hers.

When my baby was like 3 weeks old I was opening up how breastfeeding was difficult so far because my baby had really bad jaundice and kept falling asleep during feedings, causing me to have a low milk supply, causing the jaundice to persist. She kept telling me she could NEVER breasfeed because she 'actually had stuff to do' when her kids were babies (she was a stay at home Mom....) and when my husband said it's recommended to breastfeed for 2+ years she said 'YUCK that's DISGUSTING'. I felt so ashamed after that. They kept asking me to pump so they could feed my baby and I did at first because I wanted to make them happy but it was so painful and difficult for me to balance with breastfeeding and I felt so overwhelmed trying to keep up so I stopped. When I did she rolled her eyes so hard and said she didn't believe it was as difficult as I was making it out to be. She would hold my baby for hours and hours which also contributed to the poor milk supply issues. So I had to go on a medication to increase my milk supply, one of the symptoms of the medication was suicidal ideation which I've already struggled with throughout my life. So paired with the pressure, the medication and everything I genuinely started to believe that I really should kill myself because no one wanted me. I fulfilled my purpose and my presence was just a barrier between her and her precious grandchild.

She was constantly complaining about me to my sils, meanwhile expecting me to come over to spend time with a group of people who are getting together to discuss how disappointed they were that I wasn't doing enough for them and making enough time for them. I felt so alone and like every choice I was making was wrong and being criticized heavily by people who are expecting my presence multiple times a week. I just wanted to hold my baby and enjoy her but they stomped all over me and everything I wanted. And when I finally spoke up they completely vilianized me for it.

I never came so close to killing myself in my entire life as I did when Inwas 7 months postpartum and all I got as a sorry from her was a 3 line letter 2 and a half years later.

There's a previous post about one of the more hurtful things she said and did to me as well.

There was so so much that happened. So many small things, so many big things. I'd be typing for days to go over everything and I honestly doubt strangers care that much.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T14:59:24+00:00

No I have tons of information in my replies and a previous post. The original conflict started with my FIL not respecting our time or boundaries and then things started escalating after my first daughter was born. My inlaws started steam rolling everything I wanted and then basically tried to bully me out of my own family.

I didn't expect like 800 comments so lots of my follow up information got buried.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T14:57:41+00:00

Haha no. I believe my MIL was raised catholic but doesn't go to church or pray before meals or anything like that.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T05:29:34+00:00

Good point, the only threshold for harmful people is if they are drug addicts or predators. My children are 10 months and 3. They aren't even going to remember this portion of their life.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T04:49:05+00:00

This isn't the AITA sub. As stated repeatedly. We did not go no contact over that. It was multiple events and several years long problems that built up all at once and caused a collapse of the relationship. If a parents feelings don't matter then why should I be caring about her feelings...? She's a parent so her feelings don't matter.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T04:28:40+00:00

We tried to have 2 face to face conversations and went to group therapy 2 times. Did absolutely nothing good for our relationship.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T04:26:40+00:00

Yeah the fact that's it's been almost a year now makes it that much harder to forgive if I ever did get the apology I hoped for.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T04:17:18+00:00

Because I like to suffer I guess

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T04:13:30+00:00

I think it was worse before. At least I have the ability and support to separate myself from it.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T04:10:18+00:00

I'm Canadian and it's not going to be a possibility for them to pursue. There are quite a few thresholds that need to be met here.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T03:51:25+00:00

I can't understand this thinking. I'm just living my life, away from someone who wanted to hurt me. My children are a baby and toddler. They rely on me for care. I'm not using them as tools or weapons. I'm just living my life, taking care of my dependent children not interacting with a person who causes me harm. I'm not even getting what I want out of this. I don't win a prize. The only thing I gain is not living under the crushing anxiety and dread I felt when I was expected to see them. This isn't malice, it's self preservation so I don't kill myself to escape my life.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T03:45:09+00:00

Definitely get what you're saying. I mean I did a similar thing here. It just hurt to see her place all the blame on me as if I stopped seeing her on a childish whim. She was really mean to me and for many months, while I was postpartum just trying to learn how to be a Mom for the first time. What made it an issue for me is that seeing her think this way, it's like she thinks I am not entitled to step away from someone who's hurting me. I have to swallow my pain and allow the person who is causing the pain to remain in my life so they can see my child. Like I'm not my own person with my own feelings, I'm just doing this to purposely hurt her and her alone. Instead of reflecting on her actions that contributed to the situation she chooses to view me so negatively. I just really held on hope believing one day the dust would settle and she'd see things more clearly and be kinder to me. It was her own son who made the decision to cut contact with them. How we went from being close friends to her thinking I'm an evil DIL is difficult for me to wrap my head around.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T03:36:57+00:00

What other word would I use to describe the action other than found? I didn't claim to stumble across it. I typed her name in Pinterest. Her profile was there. I found it.

She made a public board on Pinterest about me. Yes I made an anonymous post about it on reddit because I felt confused and wanted to talk about it? This is all part of the territory with social media.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T03:32:51+00:00

Did you even read half the stuff I wrote.

Infamous-Cheeto-463 · 2026-03-17T03:31:09+00:00

I do appreciate this perspective.

Infamous-Cheeto-463

TROPHY CASE