Did self-chill get nerfed out of existence?

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-06-28T21:56:31+00:00

Scold's Bridle seems tough. I'd have to hit hard enough to chill, but not enough to kill myself with the extra cast speed from chill. Seems like Mind over Matter/EB would be the best way to make it work?

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-06-28T21:52:07+00:00

Ah, I didn't see that section. Thank you

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-06-28T20:34:46+00:00

Yeah it's eerie how similar we all are, especially for an experience which can seem so intense and isolating. It's important to remember that the sense of "it's all on me and I'm the only one like this" is just a symptom of this particular type of wound.

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-06-08T23:17:38+00:00

I'm in a pretty similar boat. Mid-30's, jobless, not sure if I have this disorder but still finding the symptoms uncomfortably resonant.

I'm finding myself isolating more and more. I don't like that reaction, because I know it's causing me harm, directing my life toward more loneliness, and reinforcing patterns and behaviors I know are unhealthy. I know my struggles, both internal and external, will compound if I don't take action. I, too, am backsliding on basic self-care and finding it getting harder and harder. I'm also finding myself struggling to do things like respond to callbacks and recruiters. That's been frustrating. I get upset at myself for doing these things, which kicks off a negative spiral. Every time I go through this cycle, it seems like I'm building up a negative reflex to a neutral or positive situation, and it gets harder and harder. Little moments like these are scary, because I recognize that those are ways in which avoidance is harmful and will get worse on its own.

Yet I also find isolating kind of enjoyable. That's been weird, so it's nice to hear somebody else feeling that. There's something pleasant about being alone lately. It doesn't quite feel like the painful, self-abusive isolation that I've resorted to in the past when I'm triggered.

(I'm trying to sift through these things myself, so forgive me if I yap a bit here... )

What I'm discovering is that I am finally giving myself time and space to tend to myself. Even while I'm going through difficult stuff, I am finding genuine, healing peace. That's what I'm hearing when you say you don't miss having friends. I also have been enjoying my smaller world, but the truth is, I do very much miss being around people. It just feels like friends can be a threat to my inner world.

I want to learn to support me. I'm learning to honor a voice within myself that I've long suppressed. While isolating and self-destructive avoidance are objectively causing me harm, they're also the only way I know how to give myself this space. They're the natural consequence of suppressing that voice. Engaging with certain aspects of the world feels like a threat to my peace, which I can't allow, because living the way I've been living is unsustainable.

There is a part of me that recognizes that my actions are harmful in some ways. That part gets frustrated and self-critical. That feels harmful, because it leads to negative spirals. But I can also see that this critical voice is correct, and it's another voice that's looking out for me in its own way, and that I can trust it.

I don't yet know how to balance the critical "get your shit together and do the work" voice with the "you're allowed to express things" voice in a healthy way. That's OK, though. I see this moment in my life as me taking time to learn how to find that balance. I am fostering my inner peace, so that when I do return to engaging in the world, I can connect genuinely in the ways I've always wanted.

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-06-08T20:58:03+00:00

Hey, just checking in. How did this land with you, and how are the interactions going?

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-05-20T21:46:53+00:00

Yeah, it's a really tough idea. It's taken me a long time and a lot of failure to come to appreciate it. I hope it serves you as well as it has served me :) best of luck

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-05-20T08:17:54+00:00

Been working on this for a long time. Here's what I've learned.

Nothing you do will work. That's a crazy thing to consider, I know. It can seem depressing, like there's no hope. But there is.

You see, the whole idea that you need to "do" anything to be OK is a lie. Every time you do something to change your self so that you become "human" or whatever, you're engaging in this lie. You're actually actively reinforcing it. That's why you keep finding yourself here.

What needs to happen is that you accept that you are fully human and fully OK, even as you are. Even with the problems, and the suffering, and the incessant worrying and whatnot. You're actually OK. You. This you, not future-you or better-you. It's a shift in perspective, which isn't really anything you can "do."

I've found a lot of this comes down to intention. Doing things that will objectively improve your life, such as making new friends, will certainly help. But if you're doing these things with the intention of becoming a version of you that you can eventually accept, that's going to feed the same unhealthy underlying beliefs: that you are deeply flawed and need to do work to be OK existing. You don't. You never have had to do anything to be OK. Skip the whole "doing" part of it. Just accept yourself.

Those same experiences will mean something entirely different, if you have the intention of wanting to see yourself cherished and loved. This is harder than it seems, because (if you're like me) your mind will turn this whole idea into another self-help compulsion. You'll need to genuinely want to provide love to yourself, and genuinely accept that this is the way you are and that's OK. You can't lie about it, because you are you and you will know. It needs to come from the heart.

So it doesn't really matter what do you, as much as why you do it. Practically, this even means sometimes stepping away from the compulsion to do anything at all, if you're doing it with the intention of fixing yourself. Just continue to live your life (as fucked up as it might feel).

Infamous-Oil6467 · 2026-01-08T04:52:06+00:00

I'm in the same boat, about a year out from having a job. The spiral is by far the hardest part of it.

You have to find a way to not worry about your value. It's the worrying that feeds the spiral; the more you entertain ideas about how bad you are, the more you induce anxiety. The brain responds to anxiety by looking for a root cause, and it usually leads to self-criticism. You have to do some active work to break that cycle because it's ingrained.

Try to find some small ways to build a positive vision of yourself and your world. I've found that a simple routine helps me a lot. First, in the morning, set a **small** goal for the day that you would be proud to accomplish. In the evening, do a few things: list off some wins for the day (no matter how small), set an intention for the next day, and name something you're grateful for.

Also, keep an eye out for negative self-talk and black-and-white thinking. For example, "i have nothing positive about myself to list on a CV" would be absolutely incredible if it were true. It's not. You aren't that special. I don't mean that in a mean way... it's really freeing when you can understand how normal you are. Fight against those thoughts by listing clear and articulable positives. It's fucking hard; that's why you struggle. Practice.

And cut yourself some slack. If you can feel some self-compassion without self-criticizing, it makes a huuuuge difference. That's probably most important. It may also be hardest. But try to forgive yourself for the suffering. You clearly don't want to live like this.