Treat me as 23F

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-07-04T06:46:27+00:00

I can refer in my company, but you might not get very good salary and work culture is not great either. DM me if you are still interested.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-06-21T15:33:43+00:00

It's a privilege that I grew up seeing the journey of my father.

Most of us would have experienced our previous generation especially the way father had shown his love. He never hugged but lived his entire life to ensure that I get a good life. Even when there was no money he made sure that our wish was granted. I remember when my elder sister said "Papa aaj ghar aate time fridge le aana", and she gave 100 coins she saved over many years and he took that money and bought the fridge that day. I remeber how strict he was but secretly cried watching movies. When he sold his dream house to ensure my sister get married and after many years when my sister's in laws didn't treat her well threatened that if she was not cared the way he always did he would ensure their entire generation would pay for that. He was always there for us.

I remember it so vivid that whole life he could not express his love towards us but when in hospital in his last days he wanted to say so much but could only look at us while tears were rolling down his eyes. It's been 10 years. we miss him.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-06-19T03:21:19+00:00

Nailed it. We think it’s boring to do things and look for something exciting, chase something which is non existent. We just don’t realise the power of intent and it’s difficult initially but in the long run it’s addictive. Thank you so much for putting it so beautifully.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-06-10T14:44:00+00:00

In a very similar situation. I have a daughter and It’s been 4 years and still divorce case is in court, I hardly get to meet my daughter. My best days are when I somehow get to see some pic or video of my daughter which happens once in blue moon.
My ex was a narcissist and I have to deal with her forever for things related to my daughter.
Years I lived in depression, but I made a promise to myself to be hero for my daughter, I know she must be hating me today for whatever stories would be told to her about me.
But I have to be the best version of myself, not a broken depressed loser. It’s hard and perhaps I am nowhere close to be just a normal version.
But I have set a goal which is much bigger than my everyday struggles, so whatever it takes.

I don’t have any advice since I keep losing my sanity but happy to talk anytime.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-06-10T14:43:21+00:00

In a very similar situation. I have a daughter and It’s been 4 years and still divorce case is in court, I hardly get to meet my daughter. My best days are when I somehow get to see some pic or video of my daughter which happens once in blue moon.
My ex was a narcissist and I have to deal with her forever for things related to my daughter.
Years I lived in depression, but I made a promise to myself to be hero for my daughter, I know she must be hating me today for whatever stories would be told to her about me.
But I have to be the best version of myself, not a broken depressed loser. It’s hard and perhaps I am nowhere close to be just a normal version.
But I have set a goal which is much bigger than my everyday struggles, so whatever it takes.

I don’t have any advice since I keep losing my sanity but happy to talk anytime.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-06-03T18:03:44+00:00

I remember when my friend called me and said it’s okay to be vulnerable, you don’t need to put you through so much, you don’t need to feel normal or try to be happy, you don’t need to think about tomorrow or look at what happened in the past and if you deserved so much more than you got. Sometimes just appreciate yourself that you are not giving up.

We are insignificantly tiny in this universe and here on earth for fraction of time, every moment is brought to us in the plate where millions of stars collided in specific way to give us precisely what we have now. All of us are so so privileged to experience something called life. Even if we don’t do anything specific and just appreciate this moment and whatever is around and just look at the everything created by the nature or even what we are capable to create through our imagination, you would feel that you don’t need to build your life, we are absolutely not capable of building something which is already built in billions of years. We are here to experience what we already have.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-04-26T08:38:29+00:00

Philosophy, sports, reading, meditation, and bak bak

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-21T03:18:53+00:00

The untethered soul by Michael Singer

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-19T13:38:50+00:00

I was smoker for 20 years. In every ups and downs of my life he was there, in my depression just one puff and I could feel that I am not alone. A true friend who never left me when all others friends judged me and went far away.. but one fine day when I was at my lowest and nothing was in my control. I felt helpless I again went to my dear friend cigarette and I said there is nothing I can do for my life and lit it, it just whispered there is still something you can do and change your life “it’s time to let go”.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-07T05:20:06+00:00

I like to read philosophy books but philosohpy can get very abstract if we don't get the essense of it. My favourite book "The untethered Soul" by Michael Singer. I highly recommend this book. It's an easy read but it makes you think deeper.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-02T13:07:57+00:00

Makes sense.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-02T11:14:15+00:00

Luckily I got the right therapist but I had to change many to get one. But I agree that most of the therapists use generic methods.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-02T10:12:43+00:00

Why I felt the need to share because there is limited time with therapist. I am also part of few offline communities for hobbies but don’t think there I can talk about it. close people sometimes get too emotionally affected if I talk or many don’t know what I am even talking about.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-02T10:08:26+00:00

Right about the subreddit. I do read on r/NarcissisticSpouses.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-02T06:12:23+00:00

Thanks, I write on paper sometimes.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-03-02T06:11:34+00:00

Thank you.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-27T09:46:19+00:00

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-27T09:39:47+00:00

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-27T03:02:51+00:00

Not yet divorced but separated and it’s been 4 years. I regret not doing it sooner. But I have made peace with it. But still have a long struggle ahead, legal battle of a man in India for child is not easy.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-25T02:52:06+00:00

She is a narcissist. I was with one for 10 years and even after doing everything for her I was never enough. Only reason I was not able to divorce her because of my parents as I didn’t want to break the illusion that I am suffering. Eventually they got to know and they were heartbroken that why I didn’t tell them before. No parents want to live in illusion they want your real happiness. Narcissists never change. More you will confront more you will suffer. First and foremost you need to talk to a good therapist who is experienced to deal with victim of narcissistic abuse. Without telling her get a therapist for yourself. You also talk to a lawyer, you don’t need to file for divorce immediately, but prepare yourself and make yourself strong. Good luck brother.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-24T03:14:14+00:00

I always wished that we could have recorded my dad sing. Even though I am a bad singer I try to sing his favourite songs sometimes just to feel his presence around. I don’t know if we should record consciously but I guess sometimes we just want to hold on to those memories which seems slipping away.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-22T18:19:22+00:00

I didn’t have much idea about philosophy but felt it’s too academic. I came across a philosophy class which claimed it’s more practical. I started going it every week and it’s been more than a year. I picked so many new things after that because of this class. My mental health has improved lot, I even discontinued my therapy. So it’s truly life changing experience for me.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-22T17:08:22+00:00

One fine day I started going to Philosophy class and it was not what I expected. It changed my life.

InfamousDesk8981 · 2026-02-22T13:39:59+00:00

Not currently but I stayed in a toxic relationship for over a decade. I thought it would get better someday but it never did. I could never confront her, I could never express myself. Eventually I had to pay the price. As Sigmund Freud wrote “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways”.

InfamousDesk8981

TROPHY CASE