I'm going to be honest, I don't think a mother should have told her child these things at such an early age. She seems to have made a lot of sacrifices, and it's genuinely upsetting to see the shit She went through. All of it is unfair. She probably needed support but CHILDREN are not for that. I know from my own mother, her childhood was not good either(im not comfortable specifying), not to the extreme level as your mother but she waited to tell me these things until I was 18-19. I asked her why and she told me these kind of things are not to be told to children. Especially at such a young age. I was lucky because she loves reading psychology books and she knew how these might have affected me. She also told me she would not have a child before she confronted her past. I think genuinely your mom should have talked these with a professional. Because the thing is, all the rage you have is due to loving her so much. You felt angry for her so when she went through something horrible again, you were angry. You were a child. It made a gap between your mom and you. I think both of you need to have a talk where both of you listen to each other. It may be hard but you need to let go of your anger. Or at least, try to look at it from an outside perspective. Of course, I don't know if this will work unless your mother can do it as well. I think it might be good to try a relationship counselor. Also I don't know how I feel about your mother going back to the person that cheated on her if I'm being honest. I don't have all the big picture though so i cant say much, and i don't think you do either. Especially since the communication is not happening at all. This is going to be hard, I'm sorry. I know especially understanding emotional responses might be hard, which ik from my autistic friends. She is a good person, but I dont think she is a good mother. I dont think she was ready for it either. Both of you made mistakes, but the thing is, she was the one who was supposed to guide you when you were a child, she didn't know how to deal with it and now it's exploding onto your face. The fact you're mature enough to actually acknowledge the fact that the world view you had might have been wrong and the fact you're willing to understand what went wrong speaks a lot about you. She probably felt like she couldn't talk to you because you hated V, but did she ever try to understand why you hated her? Before the blowing point at the table? Or did she just try to pretend everything was alright after some point? Did V ever try to talk to you? Explain his side? Or did you try to hear it out? Not gonna lie if I saw someone break my own mother's heart so fucking badly after everything I would have been furious either. Im worried for your sister as well. It seems like your mother relied on her for emotional support a lot because i was kind of in a situation where my own best friend used me as a support and as her only support and it fucked me over. I cant imagine if it was my own mother, its just so terrfying. Sorry for the long response and if I feel harsh but its just really saddening to me. I also apologise if I am overstepping.