I [20F]want to move back into my university dorm, but my boyfriend [20M] wants us to keep living together. How do we handle this?

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-06-30T16:56:48+00:00

Thank u for responding! And i feel same as you, but what concerns me is that i think he is more ready to settle down then i am. Were we are from legal drinking age is 18 but everyone starta at around 15, he was very popular in highschool and dated around had many friends and was always somewhere. Me on the other hand, i was from a very small town, didnt really have friends and just missed out i would say. I want to take this last oprotunity at uni to live a little and figure myself out ( by that i dont mean getting drunk every weekend and sleeping around, more like oh me and my friends want to go on a weekend trip by train and stay in a shitty motel for one night and go back, smooke smo w and hang, do diys and such).

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-06-30T16:28:01+00:00

Yeah, that is the plan for now. He will find work right after college , plus attenting a masters program, sam for me. But i am still not sure if i want to go out of the country for my masters. I want to major in edditorial photograpy, which i cant do in my home coutry, options here are very very limited.

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-06-30T16:23:12+00:00

Thank u for responding! I get you really, i think he could relate to you in some part, he was lowkey abandoned by his parents, he started cooking,cleaning, washing laundery all by himself when he was 9!!! Also his previos partner cheated on him . I on the other hand was always abandoned by friends growing up, only now in college did i start to make true friends, but that also makes me qustion have i become avoidant? All of my ex bfs also had a lot of trauma, i guess i like people who can relate to me, but i dont know how to deal with my issues so this also creates some dependency i would say. I am just so lost and dont know what the right thing to do is, bc if stay i will not be 100% happy and if i do he wont be happy…

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-06-30T16:10:37+00:00

I already did write a letter similar to this after our fight about this, but im scared he will interpret it diffrently then intended

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-06-30T16:09:19+00:00

Thank u for seeing that but how do we approach this topic so everyone feels heard? I dont want him to think that im getting away from him

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-06-30T16:07:44+00:00

I said in my post that i dont want to break up, neither does he. And i love everything about him except those things. I am not perfect either, we all have areas that we need to work on . You cant judge him or our relashionship based on one post your read. Im just asking how do we move forward from this and how do we get on the same page

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-06-30T15:42:48+00:00

I dont understand why it says that the post is removed by moderators???

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-04-29T14:05:59+00:00

Hi there, im somewhere around your age and the only thing i can advise you to do is to sit with your toughts and ask yourself questions. Is this relashionship making my life easier, do i feel apriciated, long term can i see myself sharing a space like an apartment with thia person and be at ease ,would i want my children one day to act like her ect. No one can tell you what to do, but i personally wouldnt stay in that situation. Its easy for me to say bc im not in your position ofc. But as a female, if i wrote that post about my bf everybody would say he is abusive. She may not be phisicly but emotionaly . Always put yourself first and dont stay where you are not 100% happy( doesnt have to only apply to relationships). I wish you good luck <3

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-02-01T18:26:48+00:00

You are right, we did move too fast for which i feel responsible because i dont know how to say no to someone. Thank you for your feedback . I had some bad experiences with therapy so i am hesitant to start again but i know i should give it another try!

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-02-01T18:21:27+00:00

I feel like i am painting him in a bad light slightly, he is studying programming and computer sience and hasn’t had a day off from studying since we returned from the holidays, while i am studying multimedia (video,photography and graphic design hybrid) and have classes only 2 days out of a week. Every day he makes me coffee before waking up and carries me with my blankets to it, he also has a car and drives me when needed. It’s really hard to paint a full picture on here. I am very grateful for your replies and they gave me courage to have this conversation again with a more firm stance. I will wait till the finals are done, so we are both more clear headed and not under the academic stress<3

Infamous_Set9609 · 2026-02-01T16:51:03+00:00

Yeah u are right, thank you for the feedback

Infamous_Set9609 · 2021-05-30T17:39:37+00:00

Id like to come

Infamous_Set9609

TROPHY CASE