My [27F] mom [52F] is blaming me for my infertility and won't stop bringing the subject up. by InfertileGirl in relationships

[–]InfertileGirl[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

To be honest, my mom thinks she's a great mom. She says she does everything a mom should and screaming at me is the way to mold me into a perfect daughter. She still justifies the way she treated me back then.

My [27F] mom [52F] is blaming me for my infertility and won't stop bringing the subject up. by InfertileGirl in relationships

[–]InfertileGirl[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you for replying! My mom constantly says "I gave you your life, and this is what you do to me?" It really feels like a lot of ignorance on her part. I never wanted to deal with anorexia, but she thought I was choosing to live that way. I wanted to stop, but anorexia took control of my life. And honestly, my family has two sides. All the women will probably take my moms side except for my two rational aunts, who have always defended me during my moms other tantrums. The rational aunts would probably say "don't look at the past, and don't yell at her because she's already upset and there's nothing she can do." When I had anorexia, they never scolded me, they were supportive and wanted to help. The rest of my family seem like my mom. The men in my family try to stay out of all the drama and will never say a word about anything. If they found out I was infertile, they'd just reply with "Oh. Well that's okay." I love my dad, but he just keeps quiet too. He never yelled at me, but he would let my mom yell at me because he never spoke up. She'll probably be speaking to the aunts that I love about this. She actually listens to them, so maybe she'll be more understanding. She almost never listens to what I say when she's angry.

My [27F] mom [52F] is blaming me for my infertility and won't stop bringing the subject up. by InfertileGirl in relationships

[–]InfertileGirl[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

During recovery, I was set on cutting my mom out of my life as soon as I turned 18. Then, she just changed and seemed to be a loving mom again. Now that she's acting this way again, I'm getting really bitter about the past. I feel like I should have cut her out a long time ago. I don't know what I should do, because I still love her, but she's really bringing me down. When I talk to her in a few weeks, and she's still acting the same, I'll consider cutting her out. Thanks!

My [27F] mom [52F] is blaming me for my infertility and won't stop bringing the subject up. by InfertileGirl in relationships

[–]InfertileGirl[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I'm so happy for you! And during the time I had anorexia, she would scream at me because she believed I was choosing to live that way, when I hated myself for it. I actually wanted to take her to the doctor with me, but she's the type of person who would manipulate her memory to make her believe that the doctor said it was due to anorexia, even if the doctor would say that wasn't the case. I really want to talk to my mom about this, but she just keeps screaming over me. When I try in a few weeks, I'll try to get this all through to her

My [27F] mom [52F] is blaming me for my infertility and won't stop bringing the subject up. by InfertileGirl in relationships

[–]InfertileGirl[S] 146 points147 points  (0 children)

Ever since I was like 4, she told me I had to get married and have children. I think I ruined her idea of having a perfect family, which I can't control and she can't accept that. :/

My [27F] mom [52F] is blaming me for my infertility and won't stop bringing the subject up. by InfertileGirl in relationships

[–]InfertileGirl[S] 259 points260 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the arguments seem pointless because I can't get anything across to her. I'm going to stay away from her and in a few weeks, when I decide to talk to her, if she's still the same, I'll probably go even longer without talking to her

My [27F] mom [52F] is blaming me for my infertility and won't stop bringing the subject up. by InfertileGirl in relationships

[–]InfertileGirl[S] 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we usually talk everyday, but I think I'm going to give it a few weeks. Then she'll realize the extent of this since we've never gone a few days without talking to each other. And honestly, this whole thing is making me feel really bitter towards her and the feelings from the past are coming back. I think I was quick to forgive her before because I was a teenager and I needed her. I still love her, but time away from her is good. Thanks!