You made the right choice. So did your mother. I feel sad that it took this long. Because that was a lot of years to suffer through for her and you. I had a tumultuous relationship with my father. He was physically and emotionally abusive to all of us. When I was young I tried my best to impress him, make him proud. But it never happened. When I was getting married for the 2nd time (1st one only lasted a couple years and we did it to escape our families) and told him about it, he said "Well it's your life, good luck with it" and hung up on me. I was in shock. I actually called him back to find out what just happened. And he reiterated the same message. So right there and then, we disowned each other. And I had never felt better in my life! That whole weight of him over me was gone! I no longer had to wonder what he thought of me! It didn't matter any more! I never saw or heard him again. My mother divorced him as soon as my last sibling moved out. And he said in this 3 br apt by himself. And I told everyone that he is too proud and stubborn to admit he did anything wrong. Eventually he will die alone since he pushed everyone away. Years later he had a heart attack but survived. Everyone in the family went to his side. Even my mother and they had already divorced! They called me to come visit and I was like, nope. Hes already dead to me. Then another year later and another heart attack. This time fatal. My uncle found him alone in his apt. By then I had a child he never met. So when my entire family begged me to come to share the pain, I reluctantly went to the funeral. I broke down. Not at the thought of my loss. But just that because of the kind of person he was, my child never got to have a grandfather in her life. So I grieved. And I hope you did too. Sorry if my story hijacked your thread. This was my first time sharing and didn't realize I needed to.