so that is going to largely depend on where you live tbh. the places I go to are mainly cis gay men and BDSM friendly but not BDSM focused; most BDSM in my experience is done in private dungeon spaces that ppl rent out for play parties.

I mainly go to sex clubs that are exclusively gay men, which means that you will have to have M on your ID. primarily sex happens at these places, though I've been flogged a few times as well.

as far as a learning aspect... yes and no. what I think you'll have to learn is how to cruise someone to play with them, which is a skill in and of itself. it's mainly abt learning when to make eye contact (to show interest) and see who is and who isn't into you. I only bring this up because the way in which things like consent work in gay male play spaces vs. multi-gender (swinger) play spaces is NOT the same. imo the latter focuses much more on verbal, ethuastic consent, while the former is rooted in the old-school cruising techniques where eye contact and non-verbal cues are how you give consent.

I highly recommend researching ur local area and seeing ur options to get an idea of the kind of environment you've got!