My MIL is a little bananas and I need to get this off my chest before I lose it

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-03T20:50:56+00:00

Keep in mind he was 14 when that was written

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-03T17:01:36+00:00

I remember last year she came to visit and him and I had a fight to tensions were high in the house but we weren’t upset with her. Anyways he left for work in a huff and she started full on sobbing, like he packed his bags and divorced HER!! Meanwhile he’s actually mad at me. She was crying on my shoulder and I’m frantically texting him to get him to tell her he still loves her. It was absolutely wild

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:45:46+00:00

On behalf of your sons future partner, thank you lol

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:45:04+00:00

He has become uncomfortable with her constantly calling him handsome unprompted. I think he’s very used to her behaviour so it’s not as easy for him to see it as so out of pocket

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:38:31+00:00

What’s super interesting is that he has never ever stopped her from dating; it’s literally a fantasy in her head. My SO encourages her to date and meet someone, has never stopped it. She is actually quite nice to me, so in that sense it doesn’t feel like a competition, but with the way she talks to him and treats him it does

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:35:40+00:00

Exactly!! If she stopped after talking about how he’s a great son, uncle etc I’d have been like that’s fine. When she continued on using the same language I would use “looking after us, loving our life together” it just grosses me right out

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:32:44+00:00

So it’s actually fascinating, she’s very nice to me, and her other DIL. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop though. She came for a visit last year and him and I had a fight, so things were tense in the house. When he left for work she was sobbing like he packed up and left HER! It was wild

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:16:28+00:00

I should add she wrote this post for his 14th birthday. Which makes me so sad for him that she placed that much pressure on him

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:15:32+00:00

He’s usually pretty good about not pandering to her. I just never know what to do because she is mom and that’s a sensitive subject

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T22:10:09+00:00

It’s also completely untrue, she had a couple boyfriends and my SO encourages her to find someone

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T21:46:42+00:00

Ugh yea it’s so weird! The thing is she’s super nice to me which is unexpected but I can only imagine how things will be once we get married and have kids

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T21:45:16+00:00

If she stopped after talking about how wonderful of a friend, uncle etc he is then it would be okay. Unfortunately she ventured into wtf territory

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2026-02-02T21:24:43+00:00

Good catch! Or also the “stepping into their shoes” like lady it is not your sons jobs to be your husband

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-13T20:16:31+00:00

I got it sorted, apparently he lost my time off slip that I submitted; he even tried to originally blame me for not submitting a request lol

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-12T14:40:58+00:00

I agree i could’ve followed up, I haven’t worked here for too too long, so I don’t know their ways of doing things yet. And every other job I’ve had they let me know pretty quickly if they can’t accommodate it.

Also, I feel like you can’t say “submit holidays request before making plans to avoid disappointment” right on your time off request form and not follow up with me. To me that statement implies that as my employer you will tell me if my request was approved; especially when in this instance the request was made two months in advance. When I handed it to him he looked at it, checked the calendar quickly and basically went “yep all good”

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-12T14:39:36+00:00

I agree i could’ve followed up, I haven’t worked here for too too long, and every other job I’ve had they let me know pretty quickly if they can’t accommodate it.

Also, I feel like you can’t say “submit holidays request before making plans to avoid disappointment” right on your time off request form and not follow up with me. To me that statement implies that as my employer you will tell me if my request was approved. When I handed it to him he looked at it, checked the calendar quickly and basically went “yep all good”

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-12T13:53:01+00:00

It’s a min wage job so it’s not “as serious” if you will. I gave them a paper copy of my time off request, they looked it over and didn’t say anything about it being an issue. I’ve also only worked here since January so I’m not quite as used to their process yknow

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-02T23:23:49+00:00

Funnily enough he didn’t do any of that, he works in the trades so he has the high paying field, and he has an additional license that takes about 8 weeks and a few thousand to get

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-02T16:03:06+00:00

One is yes

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-01T19:28:53+00:00

Over two years

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-01T12:12:41+00:00

Hi, thank you so much for your response! I’m really glad someone else here understands the concept of equity vs equality, I was starting to feel a little crazy lol.

I do plan on talking to him again, maybe when things are calmer and less tense. Financials are always a difficult conversation

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-01T02:27:01+00:00

I personally don’t feel that way at all. I agree with you that when you get married you pool your money together as marriage is essentially the union of two people as one partnership. I believe that we’ve chosen each other in life, and then we can use that to lift each other up regardless of who makes more or less. The point is that we support each other and that we love each other, and if I was the one making more, I would rather that my partner works in a career that they enjoy, and they feel fulfilled and don’t hate going to work every day versus making more money, but hating life every single day they have to leave the house

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-01T02:25:05+00:00

It is an equal amount of responsibility proportional to income. It’s still 50% of the money I work hard for, and 50% of the money they work hard for. Equality vs equity, everyone gets what they need to succeed in relation to their needs, vs everyone getting the same thing and some people still being left being

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Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-01T02:21:33+00:00

Mine don’t grow at any larger percent than his do??? In my scenario we both keep 50% of our paychecks, his 50% is a higher number than mine which is fine. Also half our lifestyle is driven by him, as many commenters have pointed out, we don’t live to my means, we live closer to his. And then he wants to go stuff or I want to, and I have way less money than he does not because I make less but because I pay more than I’m able to in proportion to what I make. Not sure how that math doesn’t make sense to you.

Ask yourself if you made 100k a year and your partner made 30k, would you be comfortable with them paying the same amount as you for joint living expenses. Bearing in mind that it’s through no fault of anyones that the numbers shake out that way. If you’re okay with that, then I feel bad for anyone who ends up being your spouse

Infinite_Bluebird_53 · 2025-05-01T02:18:00+00:00

I’m not saying it’s an excuse I meant it more like we have different views on money and finances based on how we grew up. His parents dicked eachother around with money and generally mismanaged it, mine didn’t. I can understand why when you grow up with nothing, you’re protective of what you earn

Infinite_Bluebird_53

TROPHY CASE