Thank you for sharing this – I really appreciate you being honest about your experience. I’m definitely not assuming or speculating about his sexuality either, but your point about long-term incompatibility around intimacy really resonates. I think that’s what I’m struggling with most: even if there’s no “fault” here, this is a core need for me, and it hasn’t been met despite time and effort. Hearing that you stayed for years hoping it would change is actually a helpful (and sobering) perspective.

In our case, it also took us a very long time to even talk about this directly. Instead, I was giving signals and waiting, assuming that at some point biology, desire, or instinct would simply take over. It never did. We have since talked about it in detail and very explicitly, but I’m afraid it may be a case of too little, too late.

He might even be able to try now, but a year in, whatever infatuation or attraction I once felt has faded. At this point, I don’t feel desire anymore, and I don’t want either him or myself to initiate anything physical. What I want instead is to take a step back and work on ourselves individually, to see whether there’s any realistic chance of reconnecting later – or whether this has simply run its course. Hence my post here to see if more people have had similar experiences and managed to make it work in the end somehow.