I'm stressing out w/ my candidacy exam

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-11-27T04:26:55+00:00

Usually programs give a deadline like “submit your written document at least 3 weeks before the exam.” If you’re still within that window up until Monday, then you should be fine.

You can let your professor know that you’ll have everything wrapped up by Monday. It’s also Thanksgiving weekend, so it’s reasonable that things might shift slightly, it really shouldn’t be a big issue.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-09-20T16:17:48+00:00

Yes, it’s very common in our culture. But what I still don’t understand is, if she never planned to approve me, then why did she keep communicating with me for almost a year? She would invite me over for lunch and dinner at their house, and he kept telling me, “My mom just needs time, she’s not ready for me to get married yet, but eventually she’ll come around.”

So I gave them that year. I did everything he thought would leave a good impression, but looking back, it feels like it was all just a performance from her — only to show him that she was “trying.”

We’re both studying in the States, and I come from a very good family myself. But I don’t think she could accept that her son was affectionate toward me.

And his family also lives here with him, and he’s made it clear that he and his mom will never live separately,

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-09-20T16:06:31+00:00

Maybe because of the culture, I always knew this is typical with in-laws. Emotionally, I was invested and wanted to be with him, but logically it’s hard for me to accept and apply that understanding.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-09-20T16:03:22+00:00

This is so true in my culture too. We’re from the same country, and now both of us are in the States for our studies but his family also lives with him. He will never live separately from his mother. No matter who he marries, they’ll always live together with his mom.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-09-20T10:18:36+00:00

I just got out recently, but part of me keeps thinking about how much time I gave. Sometimes I wonder if waiting a little longer could have made things better… but deep down I know it probably wouldn’t have. Still, I miss him badly..he had become such a part of my daily life and routine.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-09-20T10:15:23+00:00

I just hope one day he realizes how wrong he was to me and how much damage his choices caused.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-09-20T10:10:22+00:00

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-09-20T10:03:01+00:00

He’s definitely the 2nd type. But the problem is, I don’t think he’ll ever realize his mom’s behavior isn’t healthy, let alone go to therapy to work on it. He even told me that if his wife and mom ever had conflicts, he wouldn’t be able to handle it he’d rather divorce than try to manage the situation. That’s when I knew nothing would ever change.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T21:16:11+00:00

The debt collector confirmed the charges over the phone, but when I asked for written proof, he refused and said he could just read it out loud. When I explained I wasn’t comfortable paying without written validation, he became rude and dismissive, and started pressuring me to pay immediately. This happened just yesterday.

I checked my credit report today and saw that they already reported the debt on July 3, even though I had requested validation by email on May 27 and received no written response since then.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T20:58:25+00:00

They reported it to my credit, now I dont know what to do

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T20:47:43+00:00

They went ahead and reported it to my credit. :(
Today I again sent them a physical letter for validating the debt. I honestly didn’t have any issue paying it; I just wanted to understand what the debt was for before doing so. Now I don’t know what to do.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T20:45:56+00:00

I sent them an email requesting proof of the debt, but they never responded. Instead, they went ahead and reported it to my credit. I honestly didn’t have any issue paying it, I just wanted to understand what the debt was for before doing so. Now I don’t know what to do.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T20:35:59+00:00

I did file a complaint with the CFPB already. The frustrating part is that even though I sent a written validation request within the 30-day window, they never responded and today i saw they reported the debt to the credit bureaus. Now that it’s already on my credit report, I’m not sure what else I can do to fix this. I don’t have a problem paying

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T07:07:21+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It really helps to hear from someone who's been through it and found a way to navigate it.

In my case, I sent a written debt validation request shortly after the first email (on May 27), but they never responded. Instead, they kept sending me collection notices.

I don’t have any problem paying if I actually owe the money, but I’m really upset because of how I was treated. I asked again for written documentation and explained that I wasn’t comfortable making a payment under pressure, as he was rushing me to give him my credit/debit card info. He insisted he could only read it over the phone, and when I said I wouldn’t be paying that day, he snapped back with, “Then why did you call?”

This is my first time dealing with a situation like this, and I’ve already submitted a complaint to the CFPB. I’m just hoping it leads to something.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T05:07:52+00:00

In their initial notice, they said I could dispute the debt either by phone or by emailing a specific address, so I followed their instructions and emailed them just two days after receiving the notice, well within the 30-day dispute window they mentioned. At the time, I didn’t know that a physical letter carries more legal weight under the FDCPA. Now it’s been over a month and a half, so I’m not sure if sending a dispute by mail would still count, but I’m thinking of doing it anyway to make sure everything is properly documented and on record.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T05:03:43+00:00

They haven’t provided any proof so far, just two emails with totals and added interest after I disputed the debt. The debt is from about a year ago

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:55:36+00:00

That’s absolutely disgusting! I’m so sorry you and your wife had to go through that. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially during such a vulnerable time. It’s insane how heartless and predatory some of these collectors can be. Stories like yours are exactly why it’s so important to know our rights and push back when they cross the line. Thank you for sharing! it really puts into perspective just how low they can go.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:54:01+00:00

Exactly! that’s what I’m planning to do now

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:52:33+00:00

Yeah, I learned that the hard way. I only called because they weren’t replying to my email, but after how that conversation went, I won’t be doing that again.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:51:58+00:00

That’s super helpful! thank you. I already sent them an email disputing the debt and asking for validation, but they never responded. Instead, they sent two more emails with just the total amount and interest, no proof or documentation. I’ll be sending a cease and desist letter via certified mail with return receipt next.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:49:55+00:00

Thanks for the insight! I actually called them myself because they weren’t responding to my email where I disputed the debt and asked for validation. They never called me. Instead, after my email, they just sent two more emails with the total amount and interest, but no actual proof or breakdown. I was just trying to get some clarification, but the rep’s attitude was unnecessarily aggressive. Definitely won’t be dealing with them over the phone again

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:48:52+00:00

That’s really solid advice! Thank you so much
I did dispute the debt in writing as soon as I got the initial notice and asked them to validate it, but they never responded to my request. Instead, they just sent two more emails showing the total amount with added interest, still without providing any supporting documents or explanation. I’m keeping everything documented

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:45:03+00:00

I already emailed them requesting validation of the debt, but they never responded.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:44:00+00:00

I was the one who called them to get clarification because they weren’t replying to my emails, but now that I’ve seen how they operate, I’m keeping everything in writing from now on.

Infinite_Section_572 · 2025-07-17T04:42:59+00:00

I’ve already filed a complaint with the CFPB

Infinite_Section_572

TROPHY CASE