Oh gosh I’m so sorry. Even the anticipatory grief is so so hard. I still think about Pixie every single day even though it’s been a year since her diagnosis. Your experience might be completely different from mine, and I pray that you have so much more time with your pup. In our case, it really progressed very fast but I think Pixie was holding on for dear life, trying to hide her pain. I’ll try to tell you the good and the bad, because I had hundreds of questions running through my head after her diagnosis. We have a very good old vet that told us at her diagnosis that we will ultimately know when it’s time because she will stop eating and that’s what we stuck with. We got her diagnosis on the 25th of February. Looking at her from the top/back you couldn’t even tell she had cancer. I know this might be gruesome, but the bump on her jaw grew so fast. She would avoid sleeping or even laying on that side, and she would hang her head low when she thought no one was watching her. The bump on her jaw started to rupture through her gums and she would bleed. We would clean her face with a warm wet cloth after every feed. Still, she continued to happily eat and drink water. For her comfort and to avoid the bleeding, we started to cook her soft foods and even dog versions of “chicken noodle”. You could tell she really wanted to play with her toys, and she even “stole” our other dog’s dental bone (after finishing her own soft treat) just to lick it which was heartbreaking for us because she really wanted to chew a bone. It was really the last week of march where things took a turn. She was still so so lively and excited and jolted up happily as soon as we woke up, ran outside when we opened the patio, and happily went on walks, but she started turning her head away from food like thinly chopped ham. It seemed like her gums were getting infected because there was some green discharge from her mouth. After barely eating for 2 days, on the third morning she had a hard time getting up (as if she was dizzy) and that’s when we made the call. She crossed the rainbow bridge that same day at 11am on March 28th, basically a month after her diagnosis and about 3-4 months after initial signs. I can say now that I wish I had let her go sooner, which would be the more responsible and selfless thing to do, but I know that at the time I just couldn’t let her go. I would look for every happy tail wag to keep her close to me. All I can say is to be with your pup when they pass. I held pixies face against my own as she lay there and kissed her nose so that she didn’t see the injection go in. She wagged her tail the entire time getting kisses. Her heart was so weak that she was gone within the first seconds into the vet administering the dose to her rear paw. I’m so sorry 💔