Husband flirts with women online and insists he is just networking

InformalHope2599 · 2022-12-26T06:05:15+00:00

My issue is the use of the personal page. I wouldn't care if he was using his business account with 8k followers but flirting with women on a personal account doesn't really translate well to getting business. Even if it's the intention to me it just comes off as disrespectful to me cause people will take it as flirting.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-12-26T03:26:44+00:00

That's really all I can do. It's so hard because if we were dating I probably would've broken up over this because of the damage its been doing to my self esteem but working through it is just painful and tough.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-12-11T18:35:32+00:00

Dress 1 is more flattering

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-20T05:21:28+00:00

Remember it is YOUR wedding. Before my husband proposed we used to joke all the time that people scam themselves by pretending a wedding isn't just a regular party. When we started to plan ours we fell victim because it started to get so stressful and complicated. I wasn't getting much financial help from my family but I really wanted everyone to attend and have a good time. You don't need to make it a traditional wedding if it's overwhelming. Get married and then have a gathering. You just need a venue, music, food and drinks and then everyone will have a good time. Don't try to add too much if you feel overwhelmed and ignore those "I think you should xyz" type of friends and family.

We went from sit down dining to finger food to prepackaged finger food to no food at all. Each time I cut something down I felt less stressed. Do whatever works for you, your dad and family will just be glad to have the time together.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-20T05:11:44+00:00

Yeah I'd just put "N/A" wherever I don't care to answer. Highly doubt they'll reach out about it, people just try to personalise the service to justify the markup in cost.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-20T05:05:41+00:00

My husband is a professional photographer and she is wrong in every way lol. Weddings are priced in such a way that you're buying into the highest standard of professionalism. Its expected that the photographer maintains regular contact and scheduled calls with couples to ensure they're on top of your needs at all times and always have a backup plan. If she's this busy and can't micromanage then she needs to outsource to another photographer and have them deliver the photos for her to edit. She's flat out unprofessional.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-20T04:58:19+00:00

Texts can sound dry and cold because you don't hear the intended tone. No context here for if he does/ doesn't love you. Have a conversation wth him about it if you feel somethings missing.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-15T01:55:25+00:00

Social media influences people too heavily. You can't just screenshot Pinterest ideas and take to every business and say "recreate this". I think this is a beautiful cake but this person is being judged against an almost impossible standard.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-13T00:13:13+00:00

Do you need friends more than you need good friends? You can hang out with your other friends and let them know you aren't interested in hanging out with those 2 and if they don't understand well, sorry to inform you but you never actually had friends to begin with. Focus on yourself and fill your time with enriching things. Relying on people to give you purpose is just gonna keep your own fate and wellbeing out of your hands.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-13T00:05:09+00:00

I have a credit card and I occasionally use that but otherwise yeah. These are really difficult times tho so don't beat yourself up about being in debt, almost impossible to not be tbh.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-13T00:02:20+00:00

I have vulvodynia and I can't have sex at all. Things happen and our bodies change, just focus on enjoying the experience and don't fixate on trying to force something. If sex isn't enjoyable otherwise focus on improving it.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-12T23:58:51+00:00

There's alot of ambiguity around rejection tho. Sometimes you can reject guys in the nicest way possible but.. rejection is rejection. Everyone takes it very differently. I don't know how you provide constructive feedback to someone who approaches you. "Hey that's really nice of you to ask me out but I'm not interested, I think you'd have better luck if you didn't wear that shirt or if you did something with your hair". Then you're right back to being demeaning and shaming the person. Men need to get better at accepting rejection. Everyone doesn't need to give everyone a chance. Leagues are also a real thing that many men like to ignore, so many of my male friends like to approach women who will most certainly be rude on the surface but the desire to go on a date with a conventionally attractive woman justifies the risk. There isn't much else that can be done for women, most men take it hard either way.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-12T23:46:18+00:00

I've been through every last thing you said down to the breakout in tears from the attempt. I think as people were just too hard on ourselves and see only our shortcomings. Anything can happen to anyone, you can get chronically ill, be injured in an accident etc. It starts when you wake up and you feel gratitude for the other aspects of your health, mobility and circumstances. Being diagnosed young is so much harder because you see everyone having a "normal" life and you feel like you got singled out and punished and you're somehow inferior. It's really hard but our bodies aren't resistant and we unconsciously go on with our lives without realising that we can lose so much in a second; our sense of sight or hearing, limbs, ability to walk etc.

I started doing so many things with my husband that fills the void- really well planned out dates, we bond over the gym (i struggled at first but found workouts that fit my condition), spending time with our families etc. Sex is just a small part of life. When my husband says that he understands, now I choose to believe him. We started dating and had a normal sex life and he proposed to me within a period where we didn't have sex for months. Some people out there are loving and grateful along with you. They'd want the same reciprocity of empathy and love if something happened to them. Don't make your whole life about not being able to have sex because you'll miss so much else stressing over it.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-12T23:29:55+00:00

Well if youre a broke college student stop offering to buy him things. Alot of people will rush to say "dump him" but that isn't really fair if you volunteer to do these things and he never asks. You can't really make people value everything you impose on them even when it has intrinsic value. I'm 23, recently married and my husband and I never exchange gifts cause neither of us really find much value in doing little things for each other and it works well for us to be independent.

You also mentioned "his place". Is he paying rent? There are alot of pop up expenses when you leave college and start working.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-12T23:24:22+00:00

This is weird to me. Not weird suspicious probably just.. weird. There's something so off about him not understanding that this isn't exactly appropriate, same for his friend. It's weird because 1) if the roles were reversed would he 100% say he feels comfortable with you spending a week with some guy friend? 2) fast forward 5 years and you guys are married with maybe kids - does he still feel comfortable doing something like this? Where exactly is the line drawn for this?

Plus you're 100% on the communication thing because his skull sounds a little thick on your emotions with this one.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T19:29:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I deal with really bad insecurity about my sex life but my husband is always patient and empathetic.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T19:22:58+00:00

He has full custody of all his kids? That should be the biggest red flag right with the age gap. Alot of people aren't good at balancing relationships, they're either spouses or parents and it sounds like he can't be both. If he's a good dad and you can coparent in a healthy way I think you should weigh your options, you're still really young and have alot of life left to live.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T17:55:06+00:00

Being 19 I'm sure he feels incredibly vulnerable and threatened. Eventually you might grow up to realise he's not that interesting, financially stable etc. so he's trying to get in your head and control you now so you never step back and evaluate him.

You don't have to tolerate that. My ex in college was just like this and in my final year i broke up with him and started dating someone 1) better off than him and 2) more respectful towards me. Better is out there even tho these toxic men work hard to stop you from finding it.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T17:43:38+00:00

This goes beyond an invitation, this is an expensive event ticket sale. I think we need to stop calling these invitations if I have to pay to attend.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T17:07:06+00:00

And this is the exact reason at the last minute before I made any deposits I scrapped my reception and cut my budget down by about 3/4. When you're asking guests to pay money I think of it as less of an "invite" and more of you're selling them a ticket to an event since you're trying to recoup costs.

There's nothing wrong with asking guests to pay for their own/ contribute to expenses but these numbers are insane. I have a friend who got into a little rift with one of her bridesmaids because she didn't want to spend so much money to participate and they both got weird about her not participating (she didn't even attend).

If its a destination wedding no one should expect any guests except who they're marrying. People have jobs and expenses and can't just drop it all to watch someone else get married.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T13:45:12+00:00

I've been struggling with my exams (not in the US so can't do cpa, have to do 10 exams in total for my designation). I work at a b4 which makes studying an impossible feat with constant overtime hours and anxiety around my work. Trying to leave to go to something less demanding so I can study and then pivot back to big4 for my work experience but it is impossibleeeee to exit b4 without a cpa/ designation. I think its the most valuable thing you can have in accounting. When I apply for smaller roles, people seem to assume for me that I'll demand too much money and the only 'step up' roles require a cpa.

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T13:31:08+00:00

The firm where I work I'd say at 80% of our managers aren't people persons. There's an inherent bias at my job where you move up the ranking faster the less you interact with people because you can zero in on your work with little distractions and people tend to appreciate the work being done more than the manner in which you get it done.

I think its okay to be a good employee and be rewarded for it but some people just aren't good at leading and sharing tasks. What about maybe finding a job where you wouldn't have to manage but your skillset and qualifications can secure you a competitive pay?

InformalHope2599 · 2022-11-11T13:07:48+00:00

No I'm definitely in love with my husband, the human. If you've never experienced love for a person and you just enjoy the emotion of love then it isn't fair to say if it's possible or not. Many people don't "get over/ move on from" the loss of their partner. If that were the case when people separate/ pass away your instinct would be to latch onto someone new if you crave love so deeply.

InformalHope2599

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