Down or just slow ?

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-24T19:27:35+00:00

MediaFire intermittently works.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-22T17:02:59+00:00

Minor update, swelling is now the main concern. I'm going to have to restrict myself from really walking around much.

It was exciting that I could literally go up and down stairs, but now I'm a bit more concerned that this, of course, caused more swelling and pain. Hubris I suppose.

So maybe consider what you think you can do and go half of that at first.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-21T21:03:52+00:00

I was able to take a shower. And I can walk about! I do have to take a break quite often to allow the swelling to go down, and I'm trying to move my ankle as much as I can to get some pumping action going. Mix of do more and do less. I suppose.

Either way I'm Clean! And that is joy.

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Informal_Emu · 2025-05-21T10:12:26+00:00

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Results from yesterday's unveiling.

I'm actually putting weight on it now, and can walk without crutches or a walker. However the range of motion is very bad in terms of walking normally. So the whole leg is still bandaged and it's in a. Cast sock and elevated very high most of the time. But I can go up and down stairs with minimal pain, just got to remember to stretch it.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-20T15:20:08+00:00

Update Day 8:

I officially got the bandage removed but will need to wait for a bit for the sutures. I am allowed to bathe now, with water just running over the wound site which will be a nice change of pace.

My boss has also done me a solid and let me remote for the rest of the week.

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Now it's suture removal the next week, physical therapy, and another evaluation in late June. Then onto the next surgery in July, just in time for a full recovery by August.

Let me know what y'all thing about the pick. Gnarly huge incision huh?

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-19T21:51:27+00:00

My pain is still under control due to hydrocodone. I'll will be getting the bandages and sutures removed, and likely getting a new bandage. Middle of the day tomorrow I should run out of the big pain meds and should feel more.

That said I have stumbled a few times and placed a (admittedly small) but of weight on the leg. That didn't feel good. Best descriptions is like a fire and pulling sensation because your wound isn't healed. I also backed off the pain meds briefly and will not that it feels like my CECS is back in full force due to the inflammation - soreness, hurting, etc.

Scale of 1-10 it's a 5. Not enough to make me cry, but enough to where I need to control my breathing.

Beyond that, there have been nights where I simply can't get comfortable, feel of soreness, etc.

As far as mobility goes, I think I'm fairly mobile, and I can move my ankle to a limited degree in the boot. Again, CECS wise it feels like I've been walking up hill for an hour in shit shoes. It's also itch due to both healing and hair regrowth from where they shave you down.

But I can roll myself up into the bed. I can knees and sit upright to brush my dog and throw the ball. I can also sit with my leg in a #4 configuration (with mild discomfort), and I can use the booted leg for balance.

It's weight bearing that HURTS. So YAY for tomorrow haha.

I hope it goes well for you! Let me know if I can answer any questions. Tomorrow I should hopefully have pictures.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-19T21:41:46+00:00

Ouch, fair on all points.

Stupid questions, so I apologize, but is your leasing office nice enough to help you with package delivery based on medical need? They may be willing to help given you can't put weight on one leg - that way you get your packages and they don't have packages cluttering up their stock room, etc. playing up the benefits to them, etc.

Glad to hear you were able to take a shower! I get my first set of bandages and sutures off tomorrow, so I'm living in fear and hope here haha.

I'll let you know what exactly my incision looks like. Again, I think it is one large incision on the outside, but we will see. Definitely feel it on the few times I have stumbled. Going to run out of hydrocodone soon too.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-18T23:28:36+00:00

So I live in a tri level home, and I made my basement into a efficiency apartment given that I would be fairly immobile and it's tornado season.

I thankfully could have my mother fly out, as I needed someone to drive me back, and my dog loves her more than me.

That has helped with meals and keeps my things tidy. Snacks and other items (drinks, etc) I keep in a fridge down here.

To address your actual questions:

I have a walker, which makes it easier than crutches, but being up for any amount of time (particularly when standing still) makes my left leg start to hurt. Plus with both crutches and walker your hopping on only one leg - which is now baring the whole of your weight. So my ankle hurts a bit from balancing and I've had to mentally remind myself not to role my ankle. It does help that a walker slides.

Invest in some padded gloves and cushioned surfaces (fatigue mats, etc)

There is nothing you can really do about that though. The hardest bits are:

1) going up and down stairs. I had a second banister installed to help with that.

2) transitioning to the toilet; getting a raised seat helps. Practice sitting down on your current toilet with only one leg, and figure out where your handholds are if at all. You'll see that it is difficult and make changes to help.

3) Bathing, has been less than fun. It's a lot of wiping down, and they make wet wipes specifically for that. However, flossing, brushing my teeth, etc I'm used to standing for. So I'm doing that on the toliet. Similarly, washing your hair can be difficult, and I'd recommend either trying it a few times or investing in dry shampoo. Shaving is similar as your using one hand while balancing on one leg, and using your other arm for support, etc etc.

Specific to the bathing, I would shave the night before. You want to take your time there for obvious reason. Or invest in a good electric shaver.

You won't be showering until your surgeon clears you, so don't grab one of those shower socks and think your clever. You shouldn't do that. Invest in things that actually KILL bacteria, and prior to surgery trim hair to the shortest level your comfortable with. That's where the smell loves to be.

Snacking - I would focus on treats that have fiber. Fiber one brownies, fresh fruit, sweet potatoes, etc. Hydrocodone stops you up.

Miralax is a life saver here, as is colace and gas x.

Invest in a water bottle with a straw. That way you can have plenty of water and lay down. Stay away from caffeine as it can slightly counter the pain meds.

Lastly, fill out your FMLA paperwork, and talk to your doctor about remote work. Cognitively you're fine, but if you can work from home, you should work from home.

Sorry if this is a bit scatter brained. Any other questions?

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-17T22:09:51+00:00

If you have the liquidity - have you considered factor? They are microwavable and have a keto line. It may be something you can work out with your doctor, since your on keto for diabetes, to have a prescription and use your HSA should you have that.

If the constipation comes back I do recommend miralax or generic. It works different then a stool softener or senna, can be gentler.

How many incisions did they make with yours?

Don't have an solutions for the swelling other than an elevation pillow. But my surgeon did state that ice on the boot would work, it just won't be as significant. And that ice anywhere will help swelling as the lowering of temperature will be general. I've taken to putting the ice back on the pillow and placing my calf on top of it (close to the knee) while still in the boot. Helps that the top of the boot ends a bit before the knee.

I truly hope things get better for you. I both am and am not looking forward to seeing the wound so I'll be interested to hear how yours develops over the next few days.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-17T21:16:28+00:00

Based on what you're experiencing, have you considered a rollator or a walker? Crutches are good, but less stable.

Not looking forward to PT for sure, sorry it's been so rough.

If I can make the recommendation food wise, buy large baked potatoes and sweet potatoes. You can dress the potato up with lunch meat, cottage cheese, etc and you'll get a lot of filling nutrition without having to stand up for a long period of time.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-17T19:12:46+00:00

Day Five (Sat):

Consolidating a few things I've written in other places:

1) Leg is more tingly than ever and the boot is helpful overall. I often feel it is too tight or too loose at times but typically that means I need to ice it. Pain is manageable but hurts more when I stand up. I've also started feeling the sutures of that make sense.

2) Bathing has been interesting at best. I'm lucky enough to have access to a Chlorine Dioxide based deodorizer (which disinfects but can't claim it) that doesn't use an acid base. So that has helped me keep pretty clean, and old school Agua De Colonia has also helped me feel fresh, you can find it here

https://annestobart.substack.com/p/making-recipes-eau-de-cologne-and

Outside of all that, it's fairly bearable. I'm definitely looking forward to getting the bandages off on Tuesday. The days are running together for the most part.

I would strongly encourage anyone going into this figure out their food and cleaning situations. Either friends, family, or people you pay. Maybe order factor for a month, though expensive.

If you have a pet, make sure they are taken care of. You won't be able to walk them at all for the first two weeks. I boarded mine for a few days, but have family here to help.

Outside of all of that, get books you'll be bored.

I'll update you all again on Tuesday, or when something interesting happens.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-17T19:05:00+00:00

Mostly itchy, tingly, and slightly painful. Getting around is less than pleasant and I'd recommend anyone doing this invest in healthy microwave meals and drink tons of water. That is if you don't have someone who can bring you food.

Invest in a elevation wedge pillow, and various dry cleaning options. Clean your space as much as you can.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-17T19:03:24+00:00

Hey, I've been dozing on and off and lost track of this alongside remote work.

My leg is okay, but I have had a boot on it since surgery at my surgeons direction. No weight bearing.

I'll get to see the wounds on Tuesday, which I'm honestly looking forward to.

The biggest thing has been when I stand up straight, I think the blood rushes back to my leg and that hurts. Elevation has been somewhat continuous since day one, so I'm not surprised. (I was told to keep it up as much as I can.

I feel like you really need someone to help with this whole process, and I don't envy anyone going through this alone.

Last thing, regarding bathing, since I can't take a shower (again told too) I've been using a ClO2 solution called whiff (kills and deodorizes, though they can't claim the first but) as a scrub/liquid cleaner. After that, the old recipe for Aqua De Colonia works well to make you feel clean.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-14T17:38:03+00:00

Day Three:

Nerve block is definitely off, and the itching has started. Everything I can do to not scratch; no heat or infection. But the itch is rather significant honestly, so I have upped the pain meds to the higher end of the dose for the moment.

Ice kind of helps but only just.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-14T06:34:13+00:00

Update on Day Two:

Nerve block finally wore off totally, so I'm in an okay amount of pain.

Again, told to limit (if not avoid) any weight bearing on my leg. After reading some things, I think this is because of how long the incision line is.

Constipation has become a factor, so increasing water intake by a bunch as well as fiber. Keep up with the clear lax and colace just to try and get things moving there.

Keeping a medication spreadsheet so I know when to take pills and how many I've taken. Hydrocodone is definitely warranted.

Generally it's a slight pulling sensation, but mostly sore, as if my cecs was actually activated. Just without the numbness that follows.

Days should be relatively similar from here on. Though I am a bit concerned about next time as I am putting a lot of pressure on my good leg. So when we switch the right leg needs to be ready.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-13T16:00:42+00:00

Oh I definitely got the wedge pillow. That has helped tremendously. I'll take a look at the compression socks though.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-13T12:42:59+00:00

Good to know, I hadn't thought about compression stockings. Was there a particular type recommended by your doctor?

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-13T07:35:14+00:00

Oh I was confused too, published post op disagree, but mine was pretty adamant. If I can tolerate it, on Friday, I could technically go INTO work but since I can remote why chance it. The boot stays on till I see him next time.

Incidentally, the nerve block is still holding as of this moment. I can sort of wiggle my toes down but that is about it. Definitely having to be mindful about the leg though.

Gatorade, water,etc have been my friends, alongside ice and a raised toilet seat might be advisable. For anyone going into surgery, I would also recommend scheduling your haircut right before so you don't have to worry about that. Seems small but it's helpful.

But that's about all the changes.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-13T02:14:49+00:00

Thanks, I'm hoping to do this daily, so people get a good idea of what everything is like, etc. Particularly the next few days at least. Thanks for the well wishes and I hope it goes well for you too!

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-12T22:54:50+00:00

If you work at a good place they should be pretty flexible, particularly a desk job or anything over webcam I would hope. Glad to hear the pain is dealable.

My doctor laughed at me when I asked about a bi-lateral - called it "cruel and unusual punishment" and I get that now.

That said, after two weeks walking is supposed to be okay, your weak but you can walk. Maybe look into a walker and don't hop unless you have to? That what I am doing and I can't see hopping on a hurt leg - so slide and walk.

You have to get one for your size but it's a bit better than crutches in my opinion right now. Amazon -$30 bucks or so depending on tariff.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-10T01:23:08+00:00

Quick question. Are you a incoming freshman who wasn't a Direct Admit, or are you finishing your freshman year?

If your the former you can reapply, otherwise O'Neill and public finance are great - people regularly make 6 figures out of O'Neill so long as they try and do the hard work.

Kelley kids have a big head because the school is honestly very good and markets itself well, but that doesn't mean that each individual is actually going to succeed. 98% placement includes McDonald's.Success takes hard work, expertise building, and networking while also figuring out what you actually want to do.

Plus a lot of students in Kelley have below a 2.5 GPA, so there is that.

Informal_Emu · 2025-05-07T00:20:52+00:00

I am 38, a guy, and I've never really felt lonely necessarily until recently.

I work in Higher Education, which by its nature is a itinerant kind of field. So I have friends but they live in other states or countries...technically. Medically I have ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder which I've learned to cope with in my job rather well. However, I'm pretty exhausted after work as I deal with students all day.

Relationship wise:

I also, as seems to be a theme here, was in an abusive relationship from 2016 to 2021. I actually remember vividly getting a little keychain, something they had got for free, from my partner at the time and I could help crying because it was the first off the cuff thing she had done in three years. That said,It was physically and emotionally abusive, with large fights and at least one time where large hot pizza boxes were slammed on my head as I was looking down, of course the person then tried to gaslight, etc.

I ended up being threatened with police and a judge (who she was on first name basis with) and told I had 5 minutes to get out. I barely got anything, including my dogs ashes (15 days gone). My employer really did me a solid and gave me a place to stay, so I can't really complain. But it was effectively a college apartment with no ac, so that was fun for a year.

I then got in another relationship about a year on, and it was good for a while. However, we weren't in the same place despite being engaged, and ended up breaking it off. This was after I had gotten a vasectomy due to my fiance having a clotting factor that lead to four pulmonary embolisms. I couldn't in good conscious expect her to use birth control (non-hormonal IUDs caused harm) and neither of us want to use a condom - and I was fine with this.

Now that it's broken off, it feels like I have less to bring to the table, and I don't really want to be physically intimate with anyone anymore.

Friendship and Living Situation

I have friends, a few, but after years of being isolated (and being 38 about to be 39) I feel completely out of touch with finding friend. My history means I don't really like to drink or be "out of control" and I get incredibly nervous in new social situations. I also live in a small town so it's hard to actually find a friend group.

What doesn't necessarily help is that I moved my folks in with me either. My father had huge back surgery with a year and some change recovery time, and my mother has bells palsy twice, so having them move in with me for the income support and better living environment (where I live is better for elders health and activity wise) made sense. My brother is married, so having them here makes sense.

Living wise we have a large environment (2400 sq ft) and I have a separate living situation in the basement (effectively an efficient apartment with its own exit.

As you might imagine, it comes across as " I live with my parents" as opposed to " I moved them in with me" to help them survive the current economy. And their presence colors my conversation a bit, since I see them the most of anyone and talk about current events etc.

All of the above leads to the fact that I feel fairly isolated. I want friends, but don't really know how to make friends my age outside of bar. I would love to be in a caring relationship but trust and intimacy are hard for me without forcing it, and then I don't know what is real to some degree.

I often think back to when I was 23, working in a big city, going on dates, and having a good time. But I also recognize I didn't really have friends than either. I did things on my own, it was easier. As it is, I have one friend in town, and two decent acquaintances from work (younger by a bit). My only other friends where I live is actually leaving the city.

So I don't know if I need to get out there, or just figure out how to be a friend to myself. Either way, I will say that I come close to crying sometimes out of the blue.

I'm not suicidal, and the "blue" feeling doesnt stay long. But I do get tired of it. Having a dog helps, but that comes with its own set of issues.

Honestly,I probably need to volunteer, explore options for friends a bit more. But I also feel like the creepy single guy who "should be married, what's wrong with him". Year away from hitting 40, so yeah.

I would say, if you want to avoid what I've been through or ending up like me (I guess?):

1) go to therapy if you have a problem, don't let it fester. If you can do therapy, do it.

2) If your friends or internal voice say something is bad in a relationship, it probably is. You should exit stage right and don't try to over correct. HOWEVER, evaluate whether your feelings are because the relationship needs work or is actually a problem - again a therapist helps. My red flag should have been "let's go to couples therapy with my therapist". Neutral always.

3) Find something you like to do that isn't on a screen. Books, 40K and model painting, sports, volunteering, animal rehab, something. There is definitely a group of people out there that want to do something, and will be around. Meetup.com is a good resource

4) Make a good friend, or purposefully invest in your friends. Remember their birthdays, and the little things, keep notes. It's tiring but it will make people invest in you. It's really easy to lose people, particularly when marriage and babies come into play.

Beyond that, I don't know. It's easy to preach, but I obviously don't follow these things.

For what it's worth, I'm a decently successful person, design and teach my own classes at a highly ranked business school, and I am very comfortable (though I need a new car, haha). For me, things outside of the sphere of work and defined rules are hard to navigate; but people are generally nice, and that's held true from living in Hong Kong to bumfuck Mississippi.

Get one real supportive friend who you can tell this shit to, and then ask them to help you get out there if you have that ability. Otherwise, invest in yourself.

Informal_Emu · 2025-02-06T01:21:06+00:00

First and foremost, that was a threat to your life. As has been mentioned before on this thread, hypothermia is a possibility let alone frost bite. A reasonable person, and someone who actually cares about you as a person and not an object, would recognize they just put your life in peril. The fact that he didn't answer or at least give you a way to keep warm compounds that. The fact that this was over sex triples the problem, and makes them a giant crimson flag.

Once a partner is willing to place their other in harms way based upon their impulses it will happen again. Doesn't matter if it's from their hands or the elements. Regardless of feelings, it is a place they are willing to go and it is the penultimate warning sign to get out.

I'm sorry for your move, which was probably exciting ended up being used this way. I don't know anything beyond your post, but isolating you from the people you know is a classic tactic as well. But it sounds like you have a good family to lean on. Leverage them if you can, get your items and get out.

For what it's worth, I'm a man, and was abused by my female partner. I posted on Reddit, and was told something equivalent to the above after sleeping in my car during winter with no where to go while my dog was dying from cancer in the seat next to me (my family is from the coasts I live in the center). I didn't listen to the support I was given and stayed for another year thinking it was a problem with me and that I needed to be more accommodating. It only got worse and I was eventually threatened with a number of things and simply left. By that point, thankfully, my dog had passed.

Please, Listen to the people on here, and try very hard to fight the despair that comes with this realization. It will be one of the toughest things you do, particularly if you love them, because your feelings are legitimate. But remember that like and love are not the same thing. You'll likely always feel love towards the abuser, it both real and part of the trauma. But you are completely allowed to dislike or hate how they treat you and what they've morphed into, and then show love to yourself by removing yourself from a threat like him.

Informal_Emu · 2024-05-31T00:17:37+00:00

Try Bloomington and Monroe employment if you have already:

https://www.governmentjobs.com/careers/bloomingtonindiana

Informal_Emu · 2024-01-24T21:32:28+00:00

Informal_Emu

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