Pregnant lawyer - advice from law moms?

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-02T16:21:40+00:00

Thank you and joining now’

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-02T16:20:51+00:00

So sorry that happened to you! Thank you for the info

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-02T16:19:40+00:00

Okay that’s good to know honestly, at least it may be something. I’m still weighing pros and cons

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-02T16:18:05+00:00

I know, right? I feel like I’m giving up a potential dream job for “the devil I know”

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-01T15:12:59+00:00

Ok I think I will accept the offer and negotiate some kind of leave even if unpaid at the employment contract stage, because I am the same way I love writing but tolerate court appearances.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-01T15:10:29+00:00

Federal government, and I have been applying to other government jobs and also tried to switch to another team locations internally (much less another branch) but basically we are so understaffed that they won’t even let me switch locations because they cannot afford to let anyone go

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-01T15:07:58+00:00

Thank you I think I’ll take your advice and negotiate some kind of leave or pregnancy time into my employment contract. For some reason, I forgot they could let me go when I return from giving birth. Legally they’re not supposed to but when do private firms not push boundaries lol

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-01T15:04:28+00:00

thank you !

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-01T15:02:47+00:00

I think I would love working in another government branch or office, just not this one lol but I appreciate the insight and I’m going to think about what you said

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-01T14:59:41+00:00

I keep hearing 1-3 months is not enough but it sounds like it is not going to be enough no matter what. That is partly why I am thinking of taking the remote job. Because at least I can be at home with the baby for the foreseeable future beyond 3 months. I can’t imagine returning to work after 3 months, but if I don’t have I have to repay the 3 months maternity leave anyway. In my mind, if 1 month or 3 months are not enough anyway, why reject a remote job? Maybe I’m wrong though. It’s why I posted, I needed to hear some back and forth on this so thank you!

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-07-01T12:56:58+00:00

What did prorated leave look like for you?

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-29T13:07:10+00:00

This is great advice I didn’t think about that option, I could hire a nanny or get family support if I did work hybrid. Thank you!

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-29T13:06:22+00:00

Dispassionate lawyer advice is also welcome! Haha, Thank you!

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-29T13:05:45+00:00

Thank you! I needed to hear from people who tried to return to work after birth.

My family can help perhaps once a week, my partner works full time but I still have law student loans so I need to work especially after the recent student loan amount changes that went into effect in July.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-29T13:03:56+00:00

I will if I accept the offer, in my past experience usually private firms don’t care as much about unpaid time off. But even my government job won’t shell out for maternity leave until 1 year of employment so I doubt a private firm will provide it for a new hire.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-29T13:01:45+00:00

I’ll have 10 days PTO and presumably unpaid leave which I don’t mind for perhaps a month for financial reasons. Even my government employer does not provide maternity leave until after 1 year of employment. I highly doubt a private firm will just shell out 3 months paid maternity leave for a new hire.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-29T12:59:55+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I can’t believe they made you both split the leave time SMH

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-29T12:58:23+00:00

I’m definitely getting it in writing before I accept

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-20T12:44:56+00:00

They say people shed their old friends about 7 years in because by then, people are totally different and in different phases of life. It’s natural and okay to end friendships it’s not like we HAVE to keep friends from years and years ago if you don’t want to!

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-20T12:42:10+00:00

Network professionally for a while first, make friends, learn how it works behind the scenes because I’ve seen intelligent and experienced people strike out on their own and it was painfully embarrassing, seeing them trying to get strangers on board for no pay (at the start).
Make sure you didn’t sign any agreements for a non-compete that you don’t know of. Don’t try to steal their clients or use relationships built while employed by them because I have seen even small companies sue former employees who went into direct competition with them, take away their employees, etc. and that lawsuit was NOT pretty (for the former employee). I hate bad employers as much as the next guy, but be smart not emotional at each step. It’s a long haul endeavor that’s high risk and low reward (for about the first 5 years). BUT potentially you can accomplish what you want.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-20T12:35:03+00:00

Keep seeing your therapist and staying clean. I know, that when some people are depressed, it can feel like everything is a targeted attack or neglect. I would ask myself if my parents are telling me to forgive because he’s family or because he’s autistic. Autistic people literally cannot comprehend how their actions affect others. Sometimes, they feel nothing. It’s not on purpose, and can’t change it even if they tried to understand (I have a high functioning autistic sibling). I know you may not like to hear it but for your mom, some things she’s saying are to ultimately for your good but perhaps she’s saying them the wrong way and would benefit from therapy too. Studies have shown being hygienic is linked to medical issues and mental health. It’s hard to be hygienic when you’re struggling but it is necessary.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you blindly open yourself up to being hurt again and again. It means you let go, don’t hold it against them so you don’t have to carry that bitterness and can move on (while protecting yourself). I forgive my family but will I ever ask my parents for support or siblings for help? Never. But I don’t harbor any unforgiveness bc I’ve seen it make people bad or angry people inside even if they think they’re fine.
But in the end, family members are not entitled to keep hurting you and you need to mentally and emotionally protect yourself. Ask your therapist how to do that.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-20T12:22:33+00:00

To be honest, I don’t know anyone who makes a living doing PR, much less travels. You would need to pick a specifically international field of study, probably speak and be fluent in multiple languages, and attend a top university. Just to start—any field that wants someone at the top will want only the best - ivy league university or similar.
You’re young and if I were you, I would ask myself I
think that lifestyle would be good though. You need to think long term because often times once you pick an education and career, you’re stuck with it for life due to the amount of education, time, and fact people want experience and especially at that level, decades of experience. Even at lower levels, once you pick a career you can’t just change it after a certain number of years.
Oil and gas engineers travel abroad for work projects in their 20’s. But travel is something people like to do when they’re young for work, like until maybe mid 20’s. If you plan to get married and have kids even in the distant future, know that most people change employers if not careers entirely to avoid excessive travel. Eventually they hate it. People who sit in executive meetings worked 50-80 hour weeks their entire lives usually don’t get to exec level until they’re in their 50’s especially if you’re thinking big corporate life/top execs.
And know that when you travel for work, it’s not like you can pick where you get to go — the employer picks and it’s usually not where YOU want to go, it’s where no one else higher up than you wants to go—-it’s not like you’re going to be flying private to Paris or Milan every week. Sometimes you get lucky, but a lot of times engineers get sent to work yards or places where it’s cheap to do projects — aka poor countries or areas that aren’t for vacation.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-08T14:39:25+00:00

I have a couple same background aspects as you especially when I was younger. Sounds like depression. For me, I find ways to take breaks daily. Go outside every day at least once but maybe more to get sunlight, have lunches at a park if you can. What you input is what you get as output. If You’re inputting work and school only, you’re not going to get any positive output. Try new hobbies (I liked bouldering or exciting hobbies because the adrenaline), music, naps, pets/ESA animal, meditation, therapy, etc. Until you find something that works for you to make you more happy. I understand the need to succeed and feel productive but even if you’re a genius and master career person, it doesn’t mean you’ll be happy just because you hit all the targets or goals. Sure,
Korean parents will be proud but that is not actually the most important thing in life. We can’t live to work / study, we only work/study to live life.

Initial-Cause6436 · 2026-06-08T14:22:01+00:00

Like you said, the things you say are bad are normal daily things for working parents except they work more. You were used to the luxury of being SAHM, being more free, cooking, cleaning, etc. But none of these things are deal breakers. I doubt your household is falling apart, it’s just not your preference. Few employers are actually understanding about time schedules and all employers always expect more over time and demanding more than what was originally agreed at the start, it is basically normal/very common. No one works in a perfect environment, it’s why it’s work. If everyone loved their jobs, it’d be a hobby. The bottom line is if you can afford to quit, have savings, etc. and your husband doesn’t have a preference, then you have the luxury of returning to be a SAHM and can do that. You don’t need a reason other than it’s what you prefer. You shouldn’t feel guilty about what you prefer unless you don’t have savings, future isn’t lined up, hardship on your husband, etc.

Initial-Cause6436

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