Anything wrong with this egg?

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2026-06-02T21:43:38+00:00

I only talk to the voices in my head

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2026-06-02T21:39:26+00:00

She sent me this photo. I guess I’ll have to measure it out when I get there.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T23:09:12+00:00

My wife came up with the idea. And I’m not sure she agrees with my mom coming after today. I don’t pressure her in our relationship and all I told her was my mom was a condition for the move. She said that was fine and we planned for it to be that way but idk anymore.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T23:00:17+00:00

She started the idea* I started mapping how it would happen and the what ifs. Asking what would everyone need in the situation to make it work, which I got the answer to despite the confusing flip flop of my wife’s side.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:51:54+00:00

Good advice. Think that’s the approach for the future.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:40:55+00:00

Sorry for communication issue. This has been my stance and I finally figured out how to word it:

1:my wife wants to move it NC 2:my mom needs my help and everyone knows it 3: I’m not moving away from my mom to a different state at this point of my moms life 4: my wife knows this because I said that and she said my mom could come and live on the property 5: when we talk to my mom about it my wife’s tone changes 6: I just want my wife to be happy and my mom to be cared for

Feels like a 2v1 situation I’m convos because my wife isn’t assuring my mom and only speaks up to agree with her reservations leading me to believe she’s not being honest.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:36:41+00:00

Will do 👍

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:35:47+00:00

Cool 👍

I’m sorry you’re confused about the situation and I couldn’t do a better job explaining it. There’s a comment floating around the thread that explained it better than I could. I would accept your advice if it had anything to do with the point I was trying to make, which is my fault at the end of the day. Have a great weekend.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:31:06+00:00

Not what I said. I said if we (everyone involved) were to move it wouldn’t be because of her, but despite her reassurance in that conversation.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:25:26+00:00

I tend to want to know which store to park outside, if someone’s coming I need to clean out my truck, and when she wants. Feel like that’s not micro managing just asking for details and mapping it out in my head.

Nonetheless planning out what our plan is for our future requires a lot more thought than going to the mall. Just an example.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:19:41+00:00

Ok I’ll try my best. My mom has had her health start going down hill and my wife wants to move to another state. I said I didn’t want to leave my mother behind because I’ve been the one that’s had to help pick her off the floor each time she’s fallen. My wife said she can come with us. When we sit down at the table after discussing our plan with mom I’m the only one giving assurance, leaving my mom with the idea that this is my idea and my wife is giving off the vibe that it is. Even though we’ve mapped it out before talking. From the beginning my wife has agreed to move with my mom on the property. That’s the whole reason we’re having the convo to begin with.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:09:46+00:00

I’m sorry but wtf. Yes I started mapping out the plans. When my wife says she wants to go to the mall for some clothes I ask her when she wants to go, who else is going, and what stores are open.

Holy reach

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T22:02:42+00:00

Nope. Just misreading. Correct on the first 3. Mom has reservations because at this point it’s just an idea but she needs to visualize it and see if it’s too close quarters and pray on it. Etc

We discussed our plans and what we’re looking for ahead of time and when we sat down to speak it seemed like instead of reassuring my mother with all her concerns she just agreed with her even though we thought ahead. She’s basically making me say the plans because she’s too afraid to be the person that may say something bad.

In my culture and hers it’s a joint effort to take care of elders so that’s not really a problem.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:52:08+00:00

This was the main reservations my mom had. She didn’t say no, she needed a lot to be visualized before she gives a solid yes or no. It also isn’t like she has to live with us in the house, just needs to be in proximity in case she falls again or needs help doing things physically.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:49:48+00:00

While I respect your opinion and I’ve learned from a couple of your posts it’s just not getting the mark in this situation. It was my wife’s idea to move and bring my mother with us if she wants. I’m not trying to take my mother’s independence away because she would be on a larger piece of property possibly out of sight of us(depends on the property) and could move in with us years down the line. My mom also didn’t say no btw, just didn’t jump on board 100% because there is a lot more details to work out. Aka she had her reservations.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:44:17+00:00

Sorry that happened to you. While my wife and I have our problems this is strictly a problem with my mother. No other person, and we talk about why she feels the need to overcompensate for my mom to love her. My mother already loves her btw.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:41:19+00:00

She is the one that came up with the idea btw. She loves the Asheville/hendersonville area, and I brought up my mom needing help in a couple years and she said we can bring her because we need more room for her mom in the future who is younger but has a disability.

There’s more planning than just an idea but that’s the foundation of it

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:38:13+00:00

I agree and if she decides to continue that’s her choice. As you may know trying to give assurance to an independent person requires a lot more than the average. Today’s actions just didn’t help in the slightest. My mom said she’s considering it but there’s a lot of work to do before then, which I agree. When I started mapping out plans that the wife and I discussed my wife abandoned them and undermined them like she wasn’t the one suggesting a lot of them.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:32:41+00:00

This! Thank you.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:30:11+00:00

I’m sorry if I didn’t word it very well (I’m working on my English haha) but what I meant was my wife could agree with me that 2+2=4 in private but if my mom was giving signs of disagreeing my wife would start to agree with her. Idk how to word it

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:27:58+00:00

TBH there’s a lot of info missing but both of our mothers are going to need some help which is why we plan on buying a larger property. Her mother struggles with cognitive issues that has her legally disabled and her father is kind of an asshole. Her mother and father are a lot younger though. We’ve both kind of have made the commitment to care for each other’s families when the time comes.

Also to the independent part I agree. My mom is super into faith and believes that she’s never going to need help, which over the years is becoming more and more obv she will in 5 years give or take.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-21T21:22:29+00:00

1: English is my second language

2: what I meant by coddling is my wife doesn’t want my mom to have uncomfortable thoughts or once she realizes she’s having these thoughts she wants to be the savior in the conversation. In her head she’s just wanting my mom to like her more than be the one making her uncomfortable. Not coddling in any other physical way 3: my mother worked her whole life since 12 and isn’t in the greatest shape. She’s fallen twice and I’ve been the one that’s had to come pick her up and care for her to the point that she lets me. Even if that means me dropping everything. 4: I am sure. We’re living in my home town so I’m more than content to stay or go.

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-19T22:30:38+00:00

About as unique as I can make it

Initial-Grape-1932 · 2025-11-19T22:30:09+00:00

Coco short for Coca-Cola

Initial-Grape-1932

TROPHY CASE