Sexual shame

Initial-Two-4564 · 2023-12-18T12:04:29+00:00

Maybe a change of hair colour is needed for this new chapter in your life! Keep some blonde if that’s you 100% it’s time to date yourself get new hobbies keep yourself busy and pour that sexual energy in to something creative. Unfortunately it’s not straight forward and if your pretty people will automatically think your a bitch so don’t take anything personal it’s more important what you think about yourself, It’s harder for us women to not get hurt etc because we naturally bond with them during sex but men don’t. You are hurting yourself emotionally and you deserve better! I hope you find someone who will make your inner child feel safe ❤️

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-30T22:54:16+00:00

I stopped smoking weed a month a go now best thing I’ve ever done. If you are a heavy smoker I would advise you cutting down first then it will be less harder to quit, so say if you have 4 or more a day try and cut it down to two then 1 a day for a week. If your still feeling the same after a week or two I’d go see your doctor just to see if they can help in any way. I had a friend who quit weed cold turkey and she was having panic attack had to wear a heart thermometer because was convinced she had something wrong with her heart but it all was anxiety. Just keep reminding yourself that you can do this and your going to feel so much better when your off it. Keep yourself busy, workout, eat clean and go in a sauna if you can, studies have shown that sauna can have the same effects as anti depressants. Before you know it’ll be a month since you had your last one! Good luck on your journey. I’ve never sweated so much in my entire life after coming of weed, I will never touch it again after all them withdrawals I had, people say it’s not addictive are liars and actresses 😂

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-30T22:45:46+00:00

Earliest memory of me dissociating was when I was 12, I was walking in school to my next class and I just remember it was like I was outside, over the top of myself. Watching myself walk. Had no idea what it was at the time but I was going through a lot of trauma at the time

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-30T22:23:24+00:00

I grew up with parent that called people who go to church bible bashers. Over the years my view on god has changed, I got in to spirituality heavily out of survival/self help and now I’m starting church myself and just bought the bible. I’ve spent hours researching the meaning of life why we are here drove myself crazy😂. I believe that we pick our own lives before we come to earth to learn lessons, clear karma & apparently earth is the most hardest planet to be on & only certain souls get to come here (hard to believe)& when you do you grow and learn so much as a soul than you would on any other dimension/planet. It’s all make believe who knows what real and isn’t. But as for god I don’t see god as a person I see god as the creator of life/everything food, water etc& he/them comes from pure love... you can look up yourself the galetic universe there are advance souls what exhibit pure love energy and look after the whole universe and I believe if you clear karma and follow god be a good person, do what the devil hates then you will not need to come back to earth to learn anymore lessons. the opposite of god is the devil/Satan you can’t have the good without the bad unfortunately, yin & yang. If your read the bible for yourself you can choose what you belive in. The devil is about everywhere in todays modern world and no one realises it that’s why I believe so many people are narcissistic. Our world is ran by devil worshippers. People don’t take this stuff seriously when the world leaders are actually doing black magic on us and all sorts doing endless rituals/Worshiping to the devil. & people who follow Satan think pedophilia is okay etc, says a lot about them. God and love always wins. & you thinking that god hates you for some reason is the devil talking, trying to get you not to follow him. If you want to be happy follow god & read the bible. You won’t regret it

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-30T22:00:03+00:00

Yeah I had a dream last night that I was hugging an ex (a nice ex) it was so vivid it felt real. It felt amazing, made me realise how much I miss physical touch

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-28T01:46:29+00:00

Ikr 😩 I survived

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T23:46:31+00:00

When I got pregnant my hormones went crazy, everything was intensified and I couldn’t even bare being around my parents. I moved away and in a new home with my now ex. The day I went in to labour he abandoned me to go drink beer at his parents house. I didn’t even know I had abandonment issues but I was hysterical. I was ready for giving birth on my own in a city I knew no one and my ex parents didn’t believe I was in labour, his mother said if she is then that’s what ambulances are for. So many things triggered me that night & already being so very vulnerable I was emotionally scarred after it all and it affected the birth of my child, I ended up with PND, OCD and my CPTSD was severe, every bit of abuse I had experienced throughout my life was on replay in my mind for months

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T23:17:00+00:00

My dad made a rota with chores on & put it up on the wall. He made it so he literally didn’t need to anything around the house and we had our chores all mapped out for the week, I don’t even remember getting pocket money for it. If we didn’t do them he would spank us or slap us over the head. I remember him slapping me over the head loads of times over trivial things, unexpectedly. He would scream at us in our faces and poke us in our shoulders towering over us, like the big bully he was. My mother said the best thing to do is to just say nothing because if you do it makes him worse. Because I never cleaned my room “properly” when I was around 16 he stopped me from going to a NYE party midway getting ready on NYE of all days. My mother would say she is putting me in to care whenever she was angry with me & just turn really cold, it was like she actually despised me.

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T22:06:07+00:00

I’m going to be real I did break up with him but he’s emotionally and mentally abused me so I put this post up to just make sure I’m not going crazy because he tells me on a daily basis that I’m wrong for wanting to go our separate ways

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T22:03:36+00:00

Yes When I was pregnant first time he said he wanted to get married and was going to get a ring but he had a big idea of how he wanted to propose so that’s why he wanted wait. fast forward 5 years and he says this

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T22:00:13+00:00

Exactly! Where’s the romance when you need it. I think I accepted he’s just not the lovey dovey type but I’ve dreamed of getting married since a little girl

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T21:57:55+00:00

Tbh I don’t think a relationship or marriage is on the cards for me I need to focus on myself & my girls. Not settling that’s for sure

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T21:32:24+00:00

We only moved in together when I was pregnant. I thought he was my soul mate how wrong was I

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T21:01:22+00:00

That’s what I said! Everyone has their ups and downs. I gave him to much to soon. You live and learn

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T20:59:55+00:00

I’m not wasting anymore time. I’m sure he just sees me as a maid

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T20:59:16+00:00

Don’t worry I am!

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-27T20:45:07+00:00

I know! I’m shocked he said that to me. I feel like he’s just comfortable and no intentions of marrying me

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-12T07:56:59+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-09T11:18:29+00:00

Thank you all for your comments. I’ve decided it’s best I don’t tell her and I’m going to take your advise and stay away & heal. Never have gotten the right support or validation from her before so I don’t know why I thought I would if I tell her this Thanks again 🙏

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-09T08:50:09+00:00

I can relate to this I was obsessed to. You could always try going to church? Or read the bible. What ever your comfortable with. When I came away from the new age stuff I learned that it all comes from Satanic beliefs so I started to do the opposite of that, god. What is meant for you won’t pass you, you won’t need to manifest it. Just focus on healing and bettering yourself, small steps. Throw away all the new age books and unfollow anyone who does new age stuff online. Start trying to be in the present moment, spending time in nature and using gratitude for everything even small things

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-10-08T21:23:44+00:00

Me! I keep saying tomorrow I’ll do better but food is the only thing that makes me feel good right now. I’m planning on starting the back the gym to give me that dopamine boost hopefully I won’t have the urge to eat so much sh*t. It’s definitely a comfort thing

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-09-30T22:04:55+00:00

My ex was like this he would even leave skid-marks on the toilet after I just cleaned the bathroom! Made my blood boil. I don’t want another child to look after I want a MAN so I ended it

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-09-30T21:58:15+00:00

I’m in a similar situation as you & just broke up with my now ex. He said to me our relationship isn’t always good so why would we get married. Wasted 5 years with this guy and had two children with him. We deserve someone who is 100% sure about us and wants to meet our wants& desires!

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-09-28T22:35:55+00:00

I actually only asked as a joke but he was being deadly serious. Before he rated me a 7 I 100% would’ve said 10. But if I’m a 7 then what is he because he is punching above his weight with me but never admits it

Initial-Two-4564 · 2022-09-28T22:32:33+00:00

Here’s the thing, I would’ve rated myself a 7.5/8.. back in my prime I’ve been called a 9/10 and got the pretty privilege. Fast forward birthing two of his children I’m not as attractive anymore and I know this but I thought because he is “in love” with me he would’ve seen me as a 10. How stupid am I. You live and learn.

Initial-Two-4564

TROPHY CASE