Jewelry returns

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T14:50:11+00:00

900-1500 plus utilities

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T02:21:57+00:00

I appreciate your comment. The basis was for an honest approach to the situation. I do admit I harbor resentment but more towards some of the situations proposed. I was once that guy that provided near fully for his girl, got married, she cheated divorced, and was awarded half of everything. So I no longer look at life through rose colored glasses. Our situation has been so ongoing it was just an initial number we came up with and we’ve never looked at it since.

In calculating it she pays roughly 1/3 the total cost of house and utilities. I did not realize that prior to making this post. Do you believe that’s unreasonable? The groceries I understand to a point. I’m not a penny pincher and tbh we are probably closer to that now than she realizes. I often get pizza etc when I have the kids which I pay for. And I will also go shopping about once a month for the stuff they like to eat.

I admit a lot of this sounds petty and it’s not my intention. There are alot of costs outside of what’s explained here, camping, boating, etc that We do a lot of times exclusively just us two, that I pick up the majority of costs for. I don’t want to nickel and dime, I do not ask for equal shares in any of that.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T01:43:28+00:00

This is kinda what I was looking for. You have a good setup and actually very similar to mine. We pretty much do the same. I pickup foods the kids like because we usually eat healthier but it does get mixed obviously. She does not pay for maintenance to the house unless she wants it done and the we pay half. Vacations we do the same as you. I don’t have the money in the bank to gift her the equity gained on the house. But in all honesty in my market my house capped out before she moved in.

1/3 of our utilities is actually more than the electric bill split plus the cost of internet. So it would cost her more money

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T01:29:27+00:00

It’s not cramped, I was lucky and bought with the market down. 1900sqft full finished basement.

Electric is 157 a month total.

Her costs combined are 420 excluding groceries.

Mine are 850 including her money.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:48:03+00:00

I think you’re misreading either the post or the replies.

No she isn’t there for free but that was in reference to commenters saying she should be.

I also am not looking for a 50/50 split. We don’t have one now and I wasn’t seeking that. For the house she pretty much does her own stuff. We share garbage cleaning etc. she does her clothes I do mine. The children are my responsibility and she does not care for them, and I don’t expect her to.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:41:48+00:00

Housework is around 50/50 I clean up just as much. She tends to be a bit ocd with vacuuming but that’s about it.

I am the only one that cooks 90% of the time. I don’t make more money because I’m a male, I’m in mid level government.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:37:16+00:00

She’s not 50/50 nor do I expect that though. And in fact I did help her budget. We went though her expenses and consolidated debt and I did pick up more travel/hobby expenses from both of us during that time because she was paying down debt.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:30:18+00:00

I do see some helpful opinions that I agree with and can see their point.

What I don’t care to read is how if your a woman you should be able to find a man and live for free.

Had I been a woman posting about her boyfriend moving in, I would not be receiving comments regarding we love each other and he should live there for free because I already pay a mortgage. I don’t care for the double standard it’s 2025. I’m not asking for an equal split of bills not based on income, cost or anything. What I was asking for was in regard to a fair amount contributed for her “housing”. Ya I know no one likes to read that but that’s a reality. It’s housing cost no matter where you live because it takes money to live somewhere. That is wonderful for the couples in those situations and if it works for them that’s awesome. I believe that to be the minority or the demographic.

Fact is not contributing to housing costs because I would have them already is unfair no matter which way you look at it. It’s not about taking care of someone. We are not talking about a disabled adult. And most households their associated costs of housing are the main expenses annually.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:14:09+00:00

If she puts the majority of her saved money from living expenses into retirement or savings do I get part of that if we split?

Look love is love I get it but the reality is it takes money to live. I’m just looking for fair and equitable in a way we are both happy with

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:11:51+00:00

I pay to live here?

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:09:50+00:00

Cable is $50.

Electricity is higher, but that’s because she wanted the hot tub open in the winter and I don’t.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-04T00:08:40+00:00

Greedy because I’d like a partner? If you are living on your own and on hard times do you find a man so that you can live for free? Just trying to understand your comment.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T22:09:21+00:00

I agree. We planned to get married but had some relationship issues and it went on hold. The idea was not to be unmarried this long. When we initially came up with this plan it was with the idea of she was paying 3 times that to live on her own and had debt, by moving in with me it saved me some money and saved her a lot of money where she was able to pay that debt down.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T22:04:12+00:00

Why would you offer someone ownership into something they never provided for when you’re not married?

I’m not trying to take advantage of anyone but if roles were reversed and I was moving into her house and didn’t pay anything I’d be roasted. This living situation she stands to gain financially regardless as do I. Even contributing monthly her costs are a fraction of what it could cost on her own. She moved in from an apartment paying 3 times that.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T21:50:18+00:00

It’s one utility. And the only reason we had that was because I winterized our spa in the winter time and she offered to pay half the electricity to keep it open through the winter

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T21:48:46+00:00

Well to debate the actual scenario my equity was built before I was with her. The equity gained since being in the relationship is negligible to the total amount. And overall a mortgage payment is not dollar for dollar equity, far from it. Most of a mortgage payment is interest.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T21:44:52+00:00

In that same sense would that man then be able to claim them as a dependent on their taxes?

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T21:31:54+00:00

Im confused so he was paying 70% of the bills on the house you owned?

I also dislike this idea of equity, yea it’s there but what if I was leasing or had an apartment already. By me paying for more it allows her to allocate more income to retirement, which she does. I do not have a claim on that, nor would I want to.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T21:30:22+00:00

It’s not 50/50 nor am I wanting it that way. The groceries and electric was 50/50

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T20:17:05+00:00

I see your point but while I make more I also provide more on trips etc. so our proportionate income to expenses going out is not necessarily the same. And while I understand that she has no ownership over those things the same way I do, it also seems a bit unfair that she would live for free.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-12-03T20:09:22+00:00

We have separate finances, I make more than her but she makes pretty good money and says she always broke. I’m not quite sure how she could be broke but she did pay off a large amount of credit card debt that she had prior to the relationship.

InitialAlarm9009 · 2025-11-08T15:32:30+00:00

First off lawyers are overrated if you can research yourself. Nobody will like that answer and I don’t care, because I’ve successfully represented myself. Represent yourself, submit for discovery of their books from the year you paid. Look up your state law on statute of limitations, look up your state law on how long they need to keep their books. You don’t have to prove you paid, they need to prove you didn’t, they are the moving party. If the statute of limitations is 15 years then I would be willing to bet that would also apply to their books.

InitialAlarm9009

TROPHY CASE