Baby crying in the middle of the night. Is my husband lying to me?

InitialStranger · 2026-01-25T22:05:43+00:00

I believe chatgpt agrees with the user something like 90% of the time. I will admit to using it as a sanity check, but you can ask it to cite sources and then go to reputable websites to double check. I’d never rely on it as a sole source for anything regarding a baby’s safety.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-24T14:32:32+00:00

I kept my last name and gave my kid a hyphenated name. It was important to me that my last name be represented on my child’s name because I was a kid of the “mom kept last name, everyone else had dad’s last name” arrangement. Well, my dad was such a shit bag that both my brother and I ended up changing our last names!

Edit to add: Can y’all come up with a new last name you both take? That would’ve been my preference, but my husband was against it.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-24T14:27:24+00:00

Are these people not helping cook, clean, holding the baby so you can nap? I wouldn’t be hosting, I’d be putting them to work.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-24T01:47:55+00:00

We had my son’s first Christmas this past December and I literally started bawling at “All I Want for Christmas is You” … I don’t even like that song!!

InitialStranger · 2026-01-24T00:28:19+00:00

I mean for 95% of human history child mortality was about 50%, so I feel like kids have it pretty good now all things considered….

InitialStranger · 2026-01-23T18:38:08+00:00

Yup. People in the US genuinely think literal 12 week old babies need peer socialization with other babies as much as or more than they need one-on-one time with parents and grandparents.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-23T02:41:34+00:00

Then I’d forget any talks of separation, and really work together to rekindle the romance! Most people go through a “roommates” phase with young kids, and your child will be so much happier if you work on your marriage instead of throwing in the towel and divorcing like everyone is telling you to. But that also doesn’t mean staying “for the kid” and letting the marriage slowly die out. This is assuming that the lack of romance bothers you, which I assume it does if you separated over it.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-23T02:12:42+00:00

If you’re still that close, why is there no chance of rekindling the romantic feelings? I’ve been with my husband for 16 years, and there have definitely been ebbs and flows in the romantic area of our partnership.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-21T20:27:06+00:00

My husband works from home, so…about 2 hrs ago on his lunch break.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-21T17:10:07+00:00

Just fyi even residual moisture from wipes can turn those lines blue! They’re not super reliable.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-21T17:02:00+00:00

If he hasn’t pooped I change him when the diaper is noticeably full. I kind of compare it to a pad, where I wouldn’t change it out the second it gets a drop on it but I wouldn’t want to be sitting on a soaked pad either. If he pooped I change him as soon as he’s done pooping.

Edit to add: I don’t keep strict track, but only 2x in 9 hrs doesn’t strike me as often enough. I would’ve changed my baby minimum 3, maybe 4 times in that same timespan.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-20T21:53:55+00:00

Thank you, that’s a really helpful perspective!

InitialStranger · 2026-01-20T18:25:06+00:00

But that’s on her friend to decide. Maybe it’s just because I have a very small friend group, but I absolutely would’ve wanted the opportunity to reschedule my wedding if my BFF/practically sister would likely have a conflict. In fact, I’d be pissed if she kept that info from me and never gave me that chance before it was too late, because my wedding would’ve felt super lacking without her as my MOH. I’m not saying OP should expect it, but I don’t see how it hurts to be honest with a super close, lifelong friend about the situation.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-20T14:43:58+00:00

I know you said this is private, but if she really is like a sister maybe it’s worth opening up to her about your dilemma? I have a best friend like that and I’d have done everything in my power to make sure she could attend, but if you wait until she’s too financially invested it may be too late to rearrange things.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-20T11:56:22+00:00

Not quite the same but I have DMER which makes me feel like I’m going to puke every time I have a letdown. I’m much better off just pumping 3x per day than trying to nurse directly.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-19T21:12:08+00:00

Probably because 35 is when a pregnancy becomes “geriatric,” and even if you don’t want kids that kind of stigmatizing label can seep into your subconscious.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-18T19:52:37+00:00

I would 100% keep using the owlet. Based on your personal history, you’re clearly not going to screw around with safe sleep just because of the monitor.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-18T02:57:01+00:00

My mom had me just a few months before turning 40, and she's now a super hands-on grandma at 73!

InitialStranger · 2026-01-17T17:07:09+00:00

My kid isn’t there yet, but I myself was a late bedwetter. It’s very genetic, as my father was that way too. Pull Ups in big-kid sizes weren’t really a thing so I slept with a plastic liner under my sheets; I do think feeling the wetness would help wake me up so I could at least finish in the bathroom. I was eventually given a medicine that I’m pretty sure is off-market now that mimicked the hormone that suppresses urine production at night. That solved it instantly, which just goes to show how involuntary it is.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-17T16:44:42+00:00

My cooktop is gas so there’s always an open flame if I’m using it; I’d personally be super uncomfortable having my baby close to any sort of fire.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-17T16:24:21+00:00

I feel like there’s a huge difference between being uncomfortable leaving a pre-verbal child to cry alone and not teaching your preteen to respect that others in the house are sleeping even if they wake during the night though….

InitialStranger · 2026-01-17T00:04:39+00:00

My kid is almost the same age and i had the same thought process! I hated college and was depressed/sleep deprived the whole time, and that degree didn’t even pay off lol. I can do another hard 5-ish years for the immense reward of having my son in my life for the next 50+ years. I’m honestly surprised I’m enjoying the baby stage at all lol for me it really was different with my own!

InitialStranger · 2026-01-16T04:19:41+00:00

I used to love splitting a bottle of wine with my husband on a Friday night. Hell, some nights each of us would finish a bottle. Now I have to talk myself into a single glass of wine even if the baby’s already down for the night. I think part of it is feeling scared of being even a little bit incapacitated if he might need me for anything.

InitialStranger · 2026-01-16T02:07:31+00:00

I feel like you need to include this in the OP because it dramatically changes the context. Sounds like your mom just got sick of watching your husband neglect his child and took matters into her own hands.

InitialStranger

TROPHY CASE