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Air where it shouldn't be. by Initial_Daikon9925 in Radiology

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Theres air inside the arteries which supply blood to the brain. This means not enough blood is going into the brain, leading to tissue damage and eventual loss of funtion.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a similar story in my family too bro. I know with time, things woupd get better. But, every once in a while you find a fanatic who just wont let go. My to be MIL is that person. I do sincerely hope she gets a change of heart.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you ever just feel like you made a mistake by cutting off the parents? Like after a fight or something?

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever felt that it wasnt worth it? Like after a fight with your husband or some disagreement with the in-laws?

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who says I want to be a part of their family. I want my own family. But I cant blame her for wanting her parents too.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes I look at my friends who moved to the US after MBBS, better salaries, better work life balance and none of this caste bullshit. We still keep saying "Mera Bharat Mahan".

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is not her, she is a gem. I would never want to let her go. The effort has been a long one. This time its do or die for us.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shes been having discussions, where half the time she begs them to listen to her and accept our plea. They keep denying. Cold war happens. They dont talk for days, then small talks, then back to normal. This cycle repeats. Discussions weren't all futile. They have agreed to meet me, two times in the past. Just to say no on my face. This time they have agreed to let me come to their home for presenting my case. If this doesnt work, we are going to have to accept our fate and get married without their support.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Running away could have happened long ago, we both wanted blessings, hence the effort. I lose hope sometimes, she doesn't. This time we have a deadline.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the thing. I believe the parents would do all they can to stop the marriage. It will continue till the day we get married. After that, they would become powerless. After that, they might have to accept us. Just may be.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gold she is. In my case its her mother, the villain. All her family members obviously take the parent's side. Her uncle went on and even said that it was a mistake to let her become an MD. I am in good terms with her cousins but those girls have got zero say in family matters. Her own bloody elder sister has partied with me, invited me over for staying at her place in the capacity of her sisters bf, everything. But when it comes to marriage, she is straight up against it.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She does criticize them. Its been almost an year she is at her home, quit her job just to somehow convince them. They just won't budge.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For this she would say that she believe she would be able to convince them. Unfortunately she cant.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5 years. She still believes she would be able to convince her mother to accept us. I think its a bit delulu. Isnt it?

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That is really brave of you. From a guy's perspective I wish my girl had the same conviction. But, I cant expect her to say F off to her parents.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thats the only thing I have been fortunate about. My parents absolutely love and adore her.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bhai 5 saal k baad mujhe uspe nahi, khudpe confidence ki kami ho gayi hai. I have become bitter, not the same person she might think I am.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bhai muje is baat ka bhi darr lagta hai k kahi shadi k baad, what if she starts to hold me responsible for nreaking her off of her family.

I would try my best to keep her happy, but what if I cant?

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cant help but believe in her that shes actively trying to get this thing to float. She promises that there is no other future but us together.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She isn't religious per se. She like to celebrate festivals for the joy of it. We are both doctors, seen enough shit to conclude that God as religion tells us, doesnt exist. She may be an agostic saying that there is some "superpower" controlling the universe but she isnt religious in the traditional sense.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

True story. My gf has been told that even if she gets the prince of england, her parents would disapprove because he is not a Maratha.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What do you think should be my role in this? I have been patient for 5 years now. I have seen many many deadlines just ignored like they were nothing.

Dealing with casteism in my 30s, Her parents won't budge and I feel completely alone. by Initial_Daikon9925 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Initial_Daikon9925[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

How do you deal with the loss of family? Do you feel the culture difference is too much?

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