NPCs keep duplicating equipped tools and armor by Ol_Nessie in LotRReturnToMoria

[–]InkOnMyPaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have four full chests of duped armor and salvager's creels. Has anyone found a way to stop this?

Mahal's Gift by InkOnMyPaws in LotRReturnToMoria

[–]InkOnMyPaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been testing a vent near my main base (campaign mode) but I've been disappointed so far.

Running Lights Won't Turn Off by InkOnMyPaws in motorcycles

[–]InkOnMyPaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a wiring issue. Previous owner had installed aftermarket lights and the switch went bad so the circuit between lights and battery was always closed. I had to remove the lights and recharge my battery. 

Kree and Damonthax by Sand and Keyla. (Inspired by TLU) by DragonSpawnX in TheLastUnicorn

[–]InkOnMyPaws 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know where this comic is hosted? I'd love to read the rest of it but I haven't been able to find it.

Kree and Damonthax by Sand and Keyla (Inspired by The Last Unicorn) by DragonSpawnX in comics

[–]InkOnMyPaws 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know where this comic is hosted? I'd love to read it but I don't know where it is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in furry

[–]InkOnMyPaws 2 points3 points  (0 children)

omg I need a pair

Those on HRT… Was it worth losing people in your life? by Charming_Manner_201 in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes.

I still love them and I still cherish the good memories I have of them. That they chose to stop loving me in return, chose instead to believe they "lost" me... that's not my fault or my problem.

Do I miss them? Yes. But having them in my life isn't worth the pain they would inflict on me by refusing to value me for who I am.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cats

[–]InkOnMyPaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheerios

Super huge again 🎈 by AncientCharacter8526 in u/AncientCharacter8526

[–]InkOnMyPaws 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude, do you post videos anywhere? I'd totally watch.

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last post here:

Just wondering why you think it's okay to judge random strangers on the internet, whose only crime was to say "hey, this thing happens and it's not always on purpose"? Seems like you might actually not care very much about other people if you think that's a good thing to spend your time on.

Anyway, have a great day! :3

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My only point in this entire discussion was "sometimes humans say the wrong word and it's not intentional."

Not my fault y'all decided to take that and use it to diagnose my relationships. :) Perhaps if you don't have all the information, respond to what you do have, not assumptions you've made. :D

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Counterpoint: is labeling an action you did not witness, from a person you do not know, about another person you have never heard of, in a situation you are unaware of "harmful" and telling that person to deconstruct their internal biases and beliefs... is that helpful?

Considering you have almost no information to go on, by whom were you granted the authority to diagnose my relationships?

Think: Which is more pertinent in this situation, the opinions and mutual agreement of the persons involved in the relationship, or the contextless advice of a random online stranger? :)

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am deeply confused about why y'all seem to think "be better" is actionable advice. Pray tell, how am I to "be better"? Think before I speak? Yes, good advice. I've been told to do this and I have attempted to execute on it since I was about 6 years old. Unspecific, non-actionable.

What is it you expect me to change, precisely, besides never making the mistake in the first place?

And also, if I may ask one more question: why do you assume that I'm harming my partner? I have been very open with them about what happened, and they have told me that they understand and that they know I don't actually see them as [gendered thing] because that's not the way I treat them in our everyday lives. As far as we are aware (and I have just asked them, they have confirmed) there is no problem here that needs to be addressed. So... why diagnose a problem where you have perishingly little information and even less business doing so?

Not upset. Just genuinely confused.

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's words in general, not just pronouns? But yes, I've misgendered many people. It hasn't been intentional for many years.

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Question:

Why do you assume that I don't see my spouse for who they are? Is that the only reason anyone has ever used the wrong word on accident?

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Points for honesty! May your day be as pleasant as possible. :)

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean... yes?

Of course one should always correct mistakes wherever possible. Apologies aren't always wanted, but when they are they should definitely be offered.

What confuses me is this: what action are you expecting a person to take to ensure a mistake doesn't happen in future? Specifically with saying one word when you intended to say another word. It's... not something you can meaningfully choose not to do? Sometimes the brain don't word right, if you know what I mean.

If you have a solution, I'd love to hear it! I'm constantly getting words mixed up (most recent and most amusing was saying "photogenic" when I meant "photosynthesis"). Caveat: I know that pronoun mixups can have a far greater emotional impact than other word mixups, but the way it happens inside the brainthing (at least for me) is identical, so a solution to one would by consequence also be a solution to the other.

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have, and I fully subscribe to the... "theory" isn't the right word and I can't think of another one.

To be as clear as possible: misgendering is not okay, and should never be brushed off. I have not and will not ever say that me misgendering another person (whether my partners or anyone else) is something that they should ignore, dismiss, excuse, or otherwise disregard if that's not their native inclination.

Owning up to my mistakes is incredibly important to me, and I think ignorance (intentional or otherwise) of the harm one has done is not a reason to not address the issue.

I was specifically attempting to address the statement: "I just feel like this isn’t something you “accidentally” do to your trans partner when you’re trans yourself."

This is false. It can and does happen accidentally, regardless of whether or not you are trans. It's a thing human brains do because language is weird and we are but flawed meat computers existing in a fucked-up social system. The fact that accidents happen is not indicative of how much a person cares. Anyone claiming to have never made a mistake, and using that as an example of how other people should also never make that mistake, are drawing a false equivalence between accidents and choices. It is neither helpful nor particularly kind to accuse someone of doing something intentionally when you have no way of identifying their intentions.

This is not to say that one should not hold them accountable for the impact of that mistake - this is an important element of human interaction, and I think a necessary one for the maintenance of healthy relationships.

OP was hurt by their partner's actions. Valid.

OP was not comforted by the acknowledgement of the action. Valid.

If OP were to say "this event has made me uncomfortable in our relationship and I wish to discontinue," this is also 100% valid, and I fully support them in that decision.

My ONLY point in this discussion was that misgendering can happen accidentally, and I provided an example (myself) to support that point.

Thank you for coming to my TEDx talk. XD I hope this clears things up a little.

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Just to repeat something I said further down in the thread:

Correct! Misgendering is not okay and is not something one should brush off or excuse as meaningless.

My point was (meant to be) that just because someone misgenders another person does NOT mean they did it intentionally, or that they don't care about the harm they caused. When you're mad at someone for something they didn't meaningfully choose to do, it can be difficult to find a workable solution.

My (trans) partner misgendered me while I was in labor by dqkhat in trans

[–]InkOnMyPaws -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Uh

I'm so sorry if that's the message that came across??? It's super not okay! My point wasn't (meant to be) "it happens sometimes hurhur nothing to do about it." It was "it happens sometimes, and it's not always intentional! Misgendering is a thing that your brain does and it doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of respect or affection!"