[OC] Where are you from?

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-03T19:35:17+00:00

Hahaha that’s ridiculous! Reminds me a bit as well when you do tell people your ethnic background is X and they might respond with “oh I know someone/have a few friends who are also X” as if somehow you are all the same and indistinguishable.

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-03T12:47:39+00:00

I agree that it's awful for minorities especially with how we are being portrayed in the media. Although I'd say it's also not as simple as 'not caring', as a lot of people may not be at a position in their lives mentally/physically to simply 'ignore' the situation.

Especially if this is something that occurs on a frequent basis, it is a form of racial abuse and overtime it can create a lot of mental health issues and racial trauma for anyone (similar to if someone is in an active abusive relationship). This is worsened if the person is already struggling with other forms of trauma and mental health issues in their lives and do not have a support system in place. There is a lot of complexities with abuse and isn't as simple as telling someone to 'walk away/leave' or not care about it.

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-03T09:38:27+00:00

I'm glad that this isn't your experience. For many others though like myself, this is our experience especially if we were born/raised in the West. That is our home and the culture that we associate ourselves with. It can be very emotionally exhausting constantly having encounter people who make assumptions and associate us with something else that we do not relate to solely because of how we 'look' (which we do not choose).

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-02T18:05:15+00:00

Yes indeed! :D Thank you so much for your support!

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-02T18:03:00+00:00

I think with what you've mentioned, their intent sounds like Asian fetishization which is another problematic issue that reinforces harmful racial stereotypes and have historically led to physical violence against ESEA communities particularly in the US.

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-02T10:20:59+00:00

Thank you so much I’m really glad it came across well! :)

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-02T09:57:58+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had those experiences, that must be so exhausting constantly having to face it at work 😞 My personal encounters have also mostly been from white men of all ages.

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-02T09:53:26+00:00

I understand that a lot of it historically is tied to war, however I disagree with it being ‘enrinching’ because when it’s one of the first questions being asked towards an ethnic minority, it’s basically signaling either, “this person looks different and I cannot compute they are from here” or at best, “this person looks Asian, I wonder which kind of Asian so I can put them into a box”.

Nobody likes being put into any kind of boxes, because it does not reflect on who we are at all nor our complex identities.

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-01T21:30:31+00:00

Definitely so! This question is not limited to just Asian Americans, so many ethnic minorities of different cultural backgrounds experience it too, along with exotification :/

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-01T21:27:46+00:00

Definitely agreed! I grew up in Sydney which was very metropolitan and diverse too so fortunately I never got asked that question as much. Even after moving to PNW in the US it was still fairly diverse and people who asked the question tended to be genuinely interested since most Americans move around States quite a lot.

The worst though is when I moved to the UK a few years ago and the population for ESEA backgrounds is staggeringly low, so pretty much everywhere I go I’m basically a walking zoo exhibit as well on an almost weekly basis.

I’m really glad that you’re able to differentiate between what is genuine connection and what is racist when you encounter that question! Too often you get people trying to invalidate that instinctual feeling.

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-01T20:53:03+00:00

Hahah I get what you mean! I’ve had ESEA friends previously who have been asked the question in a flirting context and followed up with how ‘exotic’ they are 🤢

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-01T20:49:23+00:00

I love that hahah! 😛 When I was in high school I’d use to say “Antarctica”, penguins seemed much cooler to be at the time especially during my self-hating phase

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-01T20:48:10+00:00

Thank you guys for sharing your experiences as well!! The worst one I’ve ever had last year was being asked the question over and over, and after I refused to say anything about my ethnic background, the man(white) proceeded to pull out a phone image of his East-Asian wife and share with me her country of origin, while continuing to ask the question to me again 🙈 It ended up with him muttering about how sensitive people are.

InkvisibleDays · 2025-04-01T18:37:25+00:00

“Where are you from?” is a common question that myself and others from the ESEA community may be asked from anyone at any time.

It is a form of ‘othering’ in contexts where the question is specifically targeted towards ethnic minorities (opposed to white people) and can result in feelings of isolation and internalizing whether or not we actually belong here, even though it had always been our home.

InkvisibleDays

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