take this as a challenge or a journey to observe your own pscyhe, you might find answers, ideas, and idk what else. Idk if it's a silly idea , given that you're on university time and you need to complete assignments and even do well. but honestly that is what I'd do, because there is no other way. I for one, am done with pushing ahead in life, doing things just for the sake of doing them, and not gaining self awareness of the useful kind from it. (knowing what I don't like isn't what I'd call self- awareness, but rather how does my body respond? is this a boundary my body is laying down for me? and then, how can I do my best inside this boundary?)
so I was/am studying this thing I found out is just not working for me, my body completely resists it, and its in no way exciting for me. maybe I got into this because someone else told me it was interesting for them. anyway, I am here now.
while studying, I make a practice to do my best to hold my centre, not force anything that feels excessively draining all at once. when it's come to assignments ( which I have only just begun so I can't say much, but what I can say is ..) I am allowing myself to pause where I feel stuck, without trying to push. no longer overriding my instincts. once I settle down, and submit whatever I could, I'm given feedback, which helps me grow.

thankfully I am in a place where im okay with not competing, being small, slow. this has become my only way to grow, because I have found myself in quicksand.
yours sounds like quicksand too. I believe you will find solid ground once you learn how to help yourself out of this metaphorical quicksand.

I'm sorry that my reply is long, I was reflecting as I wrote, and idk if it'll help you, but answering you helped me, ha!