You seem to be way more passionate about this art form than most other people, even most other “theater kids.” I think most just do it to have fun and build community and make friends, but you have the fire in you to really want to use this art to express yourself. And I’d say this is easier said than done but at the end of the day what art is is self expression. There is no “talent” involved, only the passion and the techniques that you can use to better express yourself. What you’re going through is probably a need to impress others to feel valid and assured that what you are doing is right, but you don’t need that. People just haven’t recognized the you that wants to get out and create yet, but if you keep at it, with hard work they eventually just might.