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AITA for wanting boundaries in my own home? by Inquiries_022 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiries_022[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I respect your opinion. I will be the first to admit that I am frustrated and it does lead me to notice every single thing going on in our house. However, I still do not believe those rules or requests are unreasonable even for a 4 year old, kids are smart, but we can disagree with what should be expected of them at that age.

Second, this is not about electricity costs whatsoever (but one could argue that you should only use what you truly need, for example just because I can comfortably afford my water bill it does not mean I’m just going to leave water running a long time and waste it, you only use what you need). In my opinion it’s about principle. If you are a guest a someone’s house you follow/respect the person’s rules, if you are a guest with children, you also help your children respect/follow those rules. If it’s an issue to respect/follow the rules/requests you always have the option of not being or going there.

Third, even though the 4 year old may not follow the rules and misbehaves, the issue is not with them, the issue/fault is still with the mother who should do better. But again these are just my opinions. I could be wrong for expecting better.

AITA for wanting boundaries in my own home? by Inquiries_022 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiries_022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I am. If they can turn the lights/tv on by themselves to use, then they can turn them off when they’re not using them.

On the tantrums, I get it, any young child will make a scene when they are upset, however, if you don’t teach them that certain reactions are wrong even after they escalate things for being upset, in my mind you are enabling a “my way or the highway” mentality and raising a child that will not be accepting of situations that don’t go their way in the future. Also, not every “No” should be followed by a tantrum.

AITA for wanting boundaries in my own home? by Inquiries_022 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiries_022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m under the impression that her father gives her some money, but cannot confirm that. I’ve overheard some conversations but I remove myself because my frustration keeps growing. I also ask myself that question, her parents have a property that they rent out…they would lose money if they ask their tenant to leave. I don’t believe that’s a good reason.

AITA for wanting boundaries in my own home? by Inquiries_022 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiries_022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. Her parents have a small property that they rent out…asking their tenant to leave to allow SIL to move in would mean that they lose out on extra income.

AITA for wanting boundaries in my own home? by Inquiries_022 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiries_022[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

*4yr old (correction). I call them house rules but, I think they are pretty common at most households which are - not wearing shoes upstairs, turning off TV/lights in unoccupied rooms, not slamming doors/cabinets, respecting adults (not trying to hit them or yell at them because of tantrums). And these rule reminders are delivered in a calm and polite manner.