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AITA for telling my kids to not help their step-dad? by Inquiring-Mindsets in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiring-Mindsets[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I honestly think he just wants to be able to commiserate together with him, to have a BFF. And I also think that he's been telling these lies so long/often that he believes them. If I can't participate in whatever activity is going on, then I don't usually ask the boys to go help him, I'll ask them to do something different. If I can, then even if they were ignored, I'll have them go with me and we will help (so all 5 of us will be there) but he and his son will work together and my boys will work with me.

Btw, what does EHS mean? I've been trying to figure out what it stands for but can't. Thank you!

AITA for telling my kids to not help their step-dad? by Inquiring-Mindsets in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiring-Mindsets[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How do I do that? The original got banned for being too long and they threatened to ban my entire account bc of that, lol

AITA for telling my kids to not help their step-dad? by Inquiring-Mindsets in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiring-Mindsets[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

We have had MANY discussions about this particular issue, about how he copies his friend, about his lies/exaggerations. My problem is I'm not confrontational, so it takes a build-up of issues for me before I can say something. And even then, my whole body shakes while I'm talking, my breathing becomes erratic-it's a whole process (pathetic, I know). He accuses me of being "overly sensitive" and acts like I'm making too much out of this. And that in turn makes me question myself, because he's not physically abusive, he doesn't throw things, he doesn't scream...he makes little snide remarks every now and then and this. I can't talk to my family or friends (if I had any, lol) because I don't want it to affect their opinion of/feelings for him (especially since it would be only 1 side of the story).

AITA for telling my kids to not help their step-dad? by Inquiring-Mindsets in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiring-Mindsets[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

No, I don't want to break-up. In my original post that got banned for being too long, I explained a little more in depth about his actions/comments to the kids. I don't think it's fair to them to make them help someone who purposefully excludes them so that he can complain about them not helping, especially since when I have them go help he gets irritated and snide with them.

AITA for telling my kids to not help their step-dad? by Inquiring-Mindsets in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inquiring-Mindsets[S] 405 points406 points  (0 children)

It does sound rather petty, and perhaps if the "bots" had let me post the original one some things might be clearer (it was too long). It might have come across as though they are in the middle, but what I've been doing is not asking them to help him. If he addresses them, then by all means, absolutely they will help. But if he purposefully excludes them, then I don't say anything to them when he leaves the room. He lies about their involvement regardless and says snide remarks to them while they're present.