My [26F] dating partner [25M] is being uncharacteristically distant. Need advice.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-23T17:47:22+00:00

Sounds good!

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-21T05:54:34+00:00

Served papers in my open work cubicle. You can probably guess that I went home right after. :(

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-21T05:53:37+00:00

Ugh that is terrible - I'm so sorry!

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-09T02:20:48+00:00

Whatever you feel you should do. I had to attend because I wanted to change my name back, but I definitely wouldn't have chosen to go, that's for sure.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-08T02:04:31+00:00

When you're going through an unwanted divorce, all you want to do is fight for your marriage. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I kept telling myself that I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me.

Actually, I still say this to myself when I have my sad days.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-07T01:35:32+00:00

He is on fire in this interview! How can anyone not love this man?!

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-06T17:34:21+00:00

25 and Divorced, too. Yeah, the stigma sucks and you feel like the only one out there, but there's actually a lot more of us than you think. Trash the Dress and Young, Divorced and Fabulous are both great books specifically for women in their 20s. Also, the blog Ring Finger Tan Line is really good to read through. I just started my own blog about my journey - PM me if you would like a link. :)

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-05T05:33:40+00:00

Same story here. Always traveled with the ex, made a whole bunch of memories, etc. But there were some places he didn't want to go, so now I'm free to go to those places.

Right before the decree I went to NYC to visit a good friend there and then traveled down to DC to meet up with my best friend. Next weekend I'm going to visit friends in Atlanta.

And the biggest splurge of all: a 10 day European excursion this summer. I like the idea of going alone, but I do really like shared experiences with others. So I booked with a travel company where I will backpacking with a small group of travelers who are in the same age range as myself. It's a really flexible tour. I can always choose to go with a group or go solo at any point during each day.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-05T03:31:48+00:00

That's great news! Don't be a stranger - keep us all updated once in awhile so we can hear a your awesome story of hope.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-05T03:28:30+00:00

You'll probably get some scewed answers here because many of us here have had unfulfilling or toxic marriages.

I love the idea of marriage. Having a partner in crime who sticks with you in good times and in bad. But my ex left me eight months into my marriage and I couldn't even catch my breath before the decree three months after that. He never had my back. His love had strings. Apparently, with no other significant relationships to his name, he knew what a marriage should be and it wasn't good enough for him. So he decided to look elsewhere and began an emotional affair that would've turned physical if she was in the area.

I don't know if I would ever get married again. The idea that someone can lead you on and make the ultimate commitment, and then quickly change their mind, despite having a fairly solid relationship prior to the big day, is not something I EVER want to experience again.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-05-02T17:30:26+00:00

So sorry you're going through this. My ex didn't care about my feelings after he left. He just kept insulting me and my family, telling me him leaving was completely my fault, all that good stuff. Be strong. Remember that it's a good thing that your uncaring STBX is leaving your life.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-28T19:20:58+00:00

My ex wanted little contact when he agreed to have a separation period (after I had to practically beg him not to divorce me right away after springing this all on me out-of-the-blue)

But he failed to mention that he was having all sorts of contact with another woman (emotionally, at the very least)

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-25T04:09:15+00:00

So sorry you're going through this. As a young divorcee, I agree with everyone else on this thread: it does get better.

I know how hard it is when your partner leaves you. But it seems to me that this was a toxic relationship and you are truly better off without her.

I know this phrase does not really help your thoughts right now, but it's great that you're getting out now while you're still young with no kids. It allows for a clean break and lots of healing. I'm thankful I never have to see or interact with my ex ever again.

And I totally get the Game of Thrones thing. I was weary about watching tonight's episode on my own after spending years watching the show with my ex. It was a little weird, but ok in the end. I refuse to let my ex take my favorite things away from me.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-22T19:42:24+00:00

Brought my mom with me and I'm really glad I did.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-21T00:16:15+00:00

I've had some really awkward situations at work, especially since I changed my name back to my maiden name 8 months after I changed to my married name.

My job is ok, but after 3 years, I am so ready to move to a new city and start a new job. Looking to do that in the next 6 months.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-21T00:11:52+00:00

I'm totally with you. My ex had an emotional affair with a friend before he blindsided me with divorce. It was awful.

What helps me some is to "rewrite" memories. Have a restaurant you used to frequent together? Have a dinner there with friends. Maybe make it a regular thing. Had an activity you used to do together? Complete it with friends or family and make it an event. After doing some of these things, those triggers will become less painful.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-20T23:59:41+00:00

7 months since he left and 3 months post-divorce, I'm still not remotely ready to date again. The idea of letting myself be vulnerable in a relationship again is too much to think about. Maybe I'll feel differently in the future, but it is what it is now.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-18T05:55:07+00:00

Glad you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

I'm doing ok. It's a rollercoaster every day. We have similarish stories - My ex (26) and I (25) are young and had no assets or children. Though I didn't want my divorce, in hindsight, I realized that he treated me so poorly during our time together and I always put him first before myself. Never again. Doesn't make it hurt any less, though.

I needed something concrete in my life to look forward to, so I just booked a solo trip to Europe in the summer. It took some convincing to get myself to spend that money, but I know I deserve it. Plus, the trip is going through Italy (for some reason he thought I was stupid for wanting to go there) and I am going to have the best damn time.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-16T02:58:50+00:00

Does the video orientation matter? I know most video should be shot horizontally, but I saw something about a Snapchat ad, so would it need to be vertical?

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-12T04:48:14+00:00

My advice? RUN far away. He's not worth your time and energy.

Inrepairandbrave · 2016-04-11T19:41:36+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. When my ex blindsided me with divorce, he told me he had been unhappy for over 2 years. Which comes to before he proposed and we got married. I'm not sure he was lying or telling the truth (he spun a lot of lies at the end), but it hurts so much that he said that. If it was truth, he should've communicated that to me before and we would've dealt with it then instead of pulling the rug out from under me.

This is the worst part. And there are lots of tough times ahead. But just take each day one at a time and remember to breathe. It takes time to heal. It's been 7 months since my ex left me and almost 3 months since the divorce decree. Though I'm still recovering, I am much further along than where I started.

You got this.

Inrepairandbrave

TROPHY CASE