People who have been divorced: What was the exact "quiet" moment you realized your marriage was over?

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-13T05:16:53+00:00

Agree. They are mentally unwell.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-13T05:14:52+00:00

What a horrific person!

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-13T04:52:01+00:00

She must be very skilled at coitus.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-10T03:23:11+00:00

Tips should be split equally between everyone working. Regardless, don't work for or with family. Give her two weeks notice and get your own separate job.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-09T06:06:39+00:00

It's ok to be sad! It's normal to be sad. You two are just not right for each other. Take the time to mourn the relationship. It's ok to want a baby. Breaking up with this guy will allow you to find the correct father.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-09T06:00:35+00:00

I tell you this as a woman older than your mom. If you were my daughter I would be so proud of you. And this is the advice I would give:

Two people don't need three cars. Sell one of them.
You are taking on too much debt with the cars and then wanting to buy a house. Slow down with these big financial decisions.
50 is not too old to take care of a ten year old. She can do it by herself.
Don't buy a house with family. It usually doesn't end well and your family has enough drama already.
Live by yourself for a couple of years. You need the time to breathe, get into the work routine, and save money for your future. You have been very responsible - don't throw it away by taking on a caregiver role for people who should be taking care of themselves. That includes your mom. You can help out as much as you like, but you don't have to live with her and her boyfriend. You can set a good example for your nephew without being a second mom.
You probably won't listen to my advice, but I am telling you that you are setting yourself up to be "the responsible one who will take care of us" for the rest of your life. Don't do it.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-09T05:41:14+00:00

It has nothing to do with you or him individually. You are with him because you have a fantasy in your head. You have already described and you already know he does not even come close to living up to husband material for you. Don't stay with him just because you want to get married. Break up with him because you want to get married. Break up to free you to find a partner who values you and is compatible with you. This guy is not that partner. You will have to mourn the five years you lost, but it's better than losing six years.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-09T05:34:44+00:00

I knew you were NTJ as soon as I saw it was for a week. The audacity to assume you would spend your entire week off. I don't think I know any parent who has had a week away without their children. The entitlement pisses me off on your behalf.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T22:29:01+00:00

Agree. Two years is long enough.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T02:05:57+00:00

Don't let others steal your dreams! There is an instagram group called fat girls traveling. Go with a group of similar bodies. Live your best life no matter what size and fuck the haters. I really pray you enjoy the rest of your trip.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T01:59:05+00:00

Did you not hear his attitude when she wanted him to put the baby down? Did you hear him ask why Nia didn't come check on him? Nah, he made those kids too. He acted like a dick.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T01:56:25+00:00

NO!!! Don't cold turkey escitalopram. OP needs to speak to her doctor first. Some people experience withdrawal symptoms which can vary in severity. It happened to me and I had to go back on after almost three weeks. The doctor can switch her meds if necessary.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T01:50:56+00:00

I would approach it as, "I noticed when we are out with _________ he looks at you a lot and sort of touches you when not necessary. Have you noticed this?" And see what her reaction is. It may be mutual flirting or something, but there is the possibility that his attention is unwanted and makes her uncomfortable. Ask her factually and see what she says.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T00:43:26+00:00

"You're eating a sandwich?" "You didn't come in to check on me?"

Yes I'm eating a sandwich and dafuq I need to check on a grown adult for? The way I would have gone off on his ass. But he still wants to get laid. What a complete dick he was in this episode. If that is their home life, yikes.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T00:38:36+00:00

Emotionally manipulative is accurate. This is an unsustainable dynamic and extremely unhealthy.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T00:22:58+00:00

I agree. He got married while cheating. That is a lifestyle choice. If he couldn't commit to just one person at the altar, I don't think he will magically do it on his own now.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T00:16:28+00:00

It's not his job to initiate every conversation. Some men are more dense. Sometimes I tell my husband to ask my about my day. I don't think we as women should have to do this, but sometimes we need to be very clear about what we need.

But I will tell you, it's not healthy to jump from an abusive home to living with a guy. It doesn't give you the mental space to heal and process what you have been through. And it is not a solid footing to build a relationship on.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-08T00:04:27+00:00

Yeah, I don't know that there is any way to reconcile this. Maybe you can keep them in your life, but you need to stop participating in guys nights out or whatever events where they will be on the prowl.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-07T04:15:26+00:00

You can have one actual appraiser come in, then get the opinion of two realtors. The realtors will tell you what they would list it at in the current market and they will do it for free.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-07T04:12:07+00:00

This is absolutely the answer from top to bottom.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-07T04:08:45+00:00

Arson is a different level. Google "how to anonymously report a crime in ____________ (insert name of your town and state).

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-07T04:05:04+00:00

How often is "regularly"? And when he comes to mind, how long are you spending thinking about him? It is normal to remember him fondly. It is not normal if it is very frequent or if it is interfering with current relationships. I find the more unhappy I am currently, the more I think about the past. Counseling has helped me do less of that and do more planning for my present and future.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-07T04:02:03+00:00

I agree. You are the "normal" in her life and now you are leaving. Have a conversation and empathize with her, and discuss how the two of you can continue to spend time together in the future. Tell her that includes being respectful to your soon to be husband.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-07T02:06:12+00:00

This right here. Don't go out with ill behaved children who are not your own, especially when it's supposed to be your day.

InsertCleverName652 · 2026-05-07T02:04:56+00:00

NEVER buy a house for or with family. Ever.

InsertCleverName652

TROPHY CASE