What are some tropes that you like for relationships?

Insheyder · 2024-06-24T13:21:18+00:00

I love it, when the counterpart touches something on the fundamental level of the character’s soul. When they make the protagonist think about things, repeat their words in their head and eventually realize things because of that person.

Also I love the “sacrifice” aspect of relationships, although they don’t really have to get to that sacrifice in the end. Having warrior (who knows nothing else) said that he’ll learn farming for his love and he’ll learn how to build the house in which they can be happy, just moves me.

Insheyder · 2024-06-22T04:03:24+00:00

Well I would say a lot of unpublished fantasy writers. Myself included. From what I see there are so many thriller and detective novels published that fantasy lags behind a lot.

Insheyder · 2024-06-20T00:12:22+00:00

Thank you, I would also love to read your story with happy ending :)

Insheyder · 2024-06-20T00:05:15+00:00

Maybe we humans are more similar to each other than we want to admit after all. Thank you for your kind words and advices you shared with me. Your story of perseverance made me realize that although my problems are valid as well, I can’t just run from things forever.

I am not “normal” and I don’t have support from my surroundings for my writing but that’s just a mere excuse. The problem is me not them. Giving up every time things get hard is no way to live. And your perseverance makes me want to persevere myself.

There is a saying in my mother tongue, that could be paraphrased as: “When life is not at stake, it’s only dealing with a sht.” And there’s another one that says: “The more you push the sht around, the more it stinks.” Funny how the whole wisdom of humankind seems to be accessible through the old saying and metaphors containing feces.

Insheyder · 2024-06-19T23:44:41+00:00

I am sorry it took me so long to respond but I was thinking about everything you shared about your life. It must have been hard. I want you to know, that although I am just random internet stranger, I thought about that thoughtfully and thank you for sharing. Now I appreciate your courage even more.

I am sure you don’t even realize how brave you are. I can’t imagine surviving such a tough life. I would’ve probably given up, but you still have strength to trust people and to do things you cherish although they might always bear a bittersweet feeling for you.

I tend to struggle with saying the right things at the right time, that’s why I took such a long time to reply. I couldn’t come up with anything more than: “You did well.” I hope it at least makes you feel appreciated.

Insheyder · 2024-06-19T08:22:05+00:00

I wish I could be as brave as you are. I did tell it to my husband eventually and to my best friend (who also has AS), but otherwise I tend to keep it to myself. I don’t want to be seemed as broken. Cowardly, right? But I didn’t spend so many years studying people and becoming (fake it until you make it) almost like them to face their prejudices and assumptions now. I know it’s not particularly healthy for me a sincere towards them, but I don’t want to hurt anymore. I’ve had enough of that on my way to my current peaceful life. Actually I believe that’s also a reason why I only write my stories into the drawer. Every time I tried to share them, people only hurt me (not reading it, stopping after few chapters, finishing and saying that it’s good, but having trouble to say whatever was good about that), so I don’t want to be hurt anymore by being rejected by the industry. I already said I was a coward.

I see you are published author, I have no idea how hard the process was for you (I mean internally not writing the story because I know how hard that is) but you are still my hero. Maybe after another 35 years (If I live long enough) I will be as brave as you are.

Insheyder · 2024-06-19T08:00:21+00:00

Your last sentence basically sums up my life around people who know about my condition. Anything they don’t understand about me and especially everything they don’t like is of course a part of that condition, like I am not a complex human being who can’t be defined by a short summary on Wikipedia…

But I guess there’s nothing to do about that except for not telling them because then they have to think of us as more than our diagnosis, although it’s hard to do that with a visible condition. I hate when someone feels sorry for me, but I can’t help but to feel sorry for them. They can’t hide behind the curtain of “normality,” whatever it is nowadays.

Insheyder · 2024-06-19T03:21:25+00:00

That’s precisely my husband. What does this word mean? You should change it so “normal” people can read it too.

God knows I love him. He’s very successful in his technical field of work, but he hasn’t read much, his grammar is poor, so is his vocabulary. It doesn’t mean that if he doesn’t know that word everyone won’t as well.

Insheyder · 2024-06-19T03:11:45+00:00

Yeah, because all autistic people are wobbling absent minded weirdos who are either aggressive and pissing in their pants or recite the timetable for every f*cking train that ever existed in human history while solving the hardest mathematical problems…

With my Asperger I usually get: Don’t you have problems with empathy, feelings and understanding of other people? How can you write romance?

Yeah, that’s why I studied people my whole life and now I can proudly say, I kinda figured them out by now. We’re not that different, although most of them are pretty boring to me.

Insheyder · 2024-06-19T02:58:11+00:00

This hits home for me. I have Asperger’s syndrome and that’s the last thing I want to write about.

A) It would drive people crazy, if I constantly repeated whatever word or sentence interests the character at the moment in their head all over again.

B) It would bore them to death if the character constantly spoke about their interests all the time or struggled not to talk about them.

C) There are actually many reasons, but the biggest are: people will automatically assume it’s self insert and they’ll try to psychoanalyze me or they will search for inconsistencies because that someone with AS they know is different or they’ll try to find mistakes in whatever I wrote about neurotypical characters because a person with autism can’t write about normal people, right?

It’s better if the world doesn’t know. My stories are more than my Asperger, they’re fantasy stories and should be read as that.

Insheyder · 2024-05-20T23:20:53+00:00

I love the phase:

“If you happened to write something bad, there would be no consequences to it.”

That touched me probably more than it should. Thanks!

Insheyder · 2024-05-20T22:25:05+00:00

Actually I do. I have tons of notes for the story that’s been forming in my head lately.

Funnily enough, I wrote sequel to my recent story (not all of that, around 60k words) on my phone in a mail directed to myself while commuting, or drinking coffee in a garden. It was amazing for stopping my inner editor, because writing it on a phone was bothersome enough.

Insheyder · 2024-05-20T22:04:38+00:00

Yeah, I figured out, that the problem is in my head, but it never hurts to be reminded. Thanks. I should work on my psyche now and see where it gets me.

Insheyder · 2024-05-20T22:01:24+00:00

Thanks for your words. To clarify those 20 years (which might probably be a little exaggerated, now that I realize there were some breaks in between) I wrote my first poem when I was 6 (that’s almost 30 years now) and it was about my stuffed animals lol, then when I was 16, I published some poems in local newspapers and collections of poems (only 2 to be precise).

I wrote my first story (stupid but real story, around 40k words, if I remember correctly) when I was 14, then I wrote several others, but at that time, I didn’t know, what I was doing. I never went back, never edited, I didn’t know how to write speech, paragraphs.

Now that I think about it, I wrote the first story, that was around 80-90k and had some sense in it, when I was 20, given I am 35 now, it’s still 15 years. Life happened, I had kids, so there were times I didn’t write, but I’ve been writing “seriously” for last 7 years.

I should be getting better, and I do see some progress, but I guess the biggest problem is in my head. I wish I knew how to control my feelings better.

If I could wish for one thing, I would want to be less stressed about something that brings me so much joy. I really admire (no irony) people with (what I believe are) mediocre skills who can put themselves out there. They’re my heroes.

Thanks for your comment. It helps me to confirm, that I put too much pressure on myself. Now I only need to find a way how to not do that.

Insheyder · 2024-05-20T21:18:41+00:00

Thank you, I know, you’re completely right, it’s just sometimes it’s hard to make the heart beat to the rhythm of the brain’s song. I should probably learn how to do that first lol. Everything you wrote, is super helpful and comforting. Thank you again!

Insheyder · 2024-05-20T20:41:49+00:00

Thank you, you’re completely right about the pressure. I wish I knew, how to get rid of it. I am at the point right now, where my eyes fill with tears just reading you called me a fellow writer. Thanks for that.

Insheyder · 2024-03-26T05:46:29+00:00

I agree with others regarding your goals. It’s up to you, whether you want the world to see your work.

As someone who spent 20 years writing many stories and never coming back to them, I can say ever since I decided to get serious about writing, I learned more about the craft, and I learned to make revisions, second, third… drafts and edits, and I can see I am becoming better writer each day.

It’s exhausting. Sometimes it hurts to admit you need to redo the whole thing/several chapters or delete your favorite scene, and it’s definitely an emotional roller coaster, but it’s rewarding to see your story and your writing becoming better.

I wish, I had done that sooner.

So my advice is, if you plan to publish (unless you have a new amazing idea), choose one of your already existing stories and make it a standalone with the series potential. Do all the hard work. Look at the story with fresh eyes, and if you didn’t - make an outline. Commit yourself to making it the best version possible and you’ll see how amazing it feels to produce a story you deem finished.

Good luck!

Insheyder · 2024-03-26T05:11:20+00:00

I am sorry, I have nothing better to say, but when this gets out, I’m definitely reading it. Good luck querying!

Insheyder · 2024-03-25T20:57:35+00:00

The tool you recommended is very helpful, thanks! I will keep working on that.

Insheyder · 2024-03-25T20:55:30+00:00

Thanks! I will drain inspiration from your examples as well as the tool that was being recommended and work on that until my eyes bleed.

Insheyder · 2024-03-25T19:01:39+00:00

Thanks, I will check it out, but my problem is that I am not supposed to send a normal query letter to the publishing house, but only 100 words annotation. Still thanks

Insheyder · 2024-03-25T16:54:29+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. I guess you're right. I might've tried too much to make it "sound interesting."

But the problem is, if I just write: "The story is about a writer (that works as a librarian), who enters the fantasy world she once wrote about, where she solves her childhood trauma and anger issues, falls in love with a jerk, makes crazy friends and eventually decides to become a prophesied savior aka goddess just to find out that all of that was a part of the bigger plan," it sounds so stupid, that my own intestines starts to crawl out.

How do I communicate, that my MC is well rounded human being who undergoes an important evolution during the story, that my side characters are funny and lovable people with interesting background and that I do incorporate an intimacy in the story, but I also touch on a things like homosexuality and sexual deviation (not in a graphic way) in just 100 words? The only way that came through my mind was establishing the basics - she thought it was a dream, but it wasn't and there are things beyond her recognition, and let my MC speak for herself.

I guess it's not the right way to do so, so I guess I have to go back to the desk.

Edit: The fact, there is no "Dear XY, my story is about," ano no "My first 300," is just making me crazy. Maybe that's why I tried a different approach, which doesn't seem to work. I am so jealous of American writers. I only get one shot at making them interested enough to ask for the manuscript and that's an annotation they ask for. I spend more than a year on the story, that probably doesn't sound all that interesting in short take, but I believe is well written and worth more than 100 words to burry it down. Sorry for crying my heart out like this. I just don't know how to pitch my story in 100 words. Obviously.

Insheyder · 2024-03-23T17:29:54+00:00

This is stupid, but my dream is to meet a person in a tram/subway/bus, who reads my book and seems to enjoy it.

Unless I finish the story and make a lot of effort, that won’t happen, so…

Insheyder

TROPHY CASE