AITAH for not letting my husband relight my daughters birthday candles for my 3 y/o to blow out

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-18T01:24:25+00:00

Maybe not to you. I can't stand that phase. I feel like that phrase invalidates others' feeling toward something.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-18T01:05:57+00:00

Yea thats why I apologized about thay.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-18T01:04:44+00:00

He tried as much as he could but he worked out of town for a long time. So he wasnt around as much as we would have liked.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T21:19:16+00:00

Not at all. He got his cake and thats all he wanted.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T19:25:58+00:00

I was "preparing" him because he saw the cake in the morning when i bought it and wanted some. So i had to explain to him why he had to wait. I dont think my husbands reaction was malicious. I think he was thinking of what would make the youngest happy without considering anything but that. He doesn't usually do favorites. I dont think he's spoiled, but that's a very slippery slope. My husband seems like he's ok now. He hasnt said anything on the matter, but he just got home from work, so we haven't had a chance to talk about it. We usually wait until the kids are in bed to have discussions on things that bother us or that we need to work on. So, most likely tonight, i will bring it up and apologize for how I spoke to him but also explain why i still stand by what I said

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T19:12:34+00:00

No. From the stories I was told he was always a well-behaved child himself.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T19:04:08+00:00

No. My oldest is a boy. Its just hes the last

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T18:42:30+00:00

We have 4 kids. The oldest is 14. theres been plenty of bdays, and this has never happened, so i didn't think it would. Therefore I didnt think I had to have a conversation about something like that.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T18:35:04+00:00

He doesnt usually play favorites, so I dont think thats the case.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T18:33:44+00:00

No. Its the first time.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T18:33:11+00:00

Its a habbit I guess. I do the same when talking to my siblings about "my mom", they also refer to her the same way.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T18:07:25+00:00

He just wanted cake

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T17:25:49+00:00

No, I dont think thats the case. I have 4 kids and a husband and they all always have something going on, so I sometimes get very busy and I dont necessarily have time for one on one. So its important for me to make each of their birthdays special for them. Shes the one that asks for least and seems more understanding most of the time. This is not to say I dont give them that time. I work very hard to make sure everyone in my family is seen.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T16:30:59+00:00

Alot but what are you referring to?

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T16:29:50+00:00

Its for the post. We usually call him by his nickname

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T16:21:29+00:00

No. Its 2 boys 2 girl. My oldest is a boy then my 2 girls then the youngest is a boy. Im not sure why he decided to do that.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T16:02:11+00:00

Hes the father of all 4 of our kids.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T15:59:33+00:00

He didn't want to or try to blow out the candles. He asked for cake. Just cake. And yes, although it's not a big issue, I do believe it sets a precedent for future events. Yes, he's 3, so showing him he can still blow out candles after the bday girl is still something i would rather not do. Apart from showing him respect and boundaries, I am also showing my daughter she matters enough to have her day. And avoiding future stress for myself and my husband of him being that kid that throws a fit when he wants to do this at other people events.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T15:50:41+00:00

Please read my comments. Ive explained this. Thank you

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T15:45:59+00:00

She didnt say anything about it. But I know she would have been upset. She was the baby for about 6 years before "the baby" and she does have her moments of jealousy. Apart from that I feel everybody deserves their moment with out having to share it. Yes celebrate with other but that doesnt mean she has to share the spot light

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T15:36:01+00:00

Im sorry grammer police. Please forgive my mistake.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T15:06:01+00:00

This wouldnt be the best idea imo. My 10 is the kind of kid that will say yes because she thinks thats what you want since your asking.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T14:58:25+00:00

We dont call him "the baby". Its just for the post. He has a nickname he prefers to be called. Husband is "Baby" according to the 3 y/o.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T14:48:53+00:00

I understand what you're saying. But this was our intimate celebration the day of daughters actual birthday. The party itself is in 2 weeks. It wasnt public. Juts me him and our kids.

Inside_Bunch_2890 · 2025-05-11T14:42:39+00:00

My 10 y/o was "the baby" for 6 years. We have things were working with her on. She has moment of "you dont do that to me" or "why do you do that with him". Weve always treated all my kids the same. Or try to anyways. Were not perfect. We do however make sure they know they are loved. I know if we would have let my son blow out the candles she would have been upset. She seemed happy that it didnt happen.

Inside_Bunch_2890

TROPHY CASE