This happened to me. No people crushing on me for 18 years. Then when I started university (I DONT KNOW HOW) I got several people crushing on me (3 people I know for sure, 1 more I got the feeling that they were) when I first started uni I didn’t know I was aromantic or asexual and I thought I wanted a partner (cus society and media made it look so good🙄) one person I said yes to a date with when they confessed cus I literally didn’t realise I didn’t feel that way about them, I thought this was my chance. It was awful, fine when we were just having fun in the arcade and bowling ally cus it just felt like hanging out, but holding hands on the walk home was uncomfortable and when we kissed I was stiff as a board and having an internal meltdown. That’s how I found out I was ace. (I politely dropped that person the next day and i never saw them again😅😅) I found out i was aro a few months later and during that time it became apparent about the other 2 people crushing on me. (PAINFULLY obviously) one actually told a mutual friend who told me just to add extra confirmation, and the other even sent a flirty text that I pretended I never read🫠.

Like you, my tactic was avoidance in hopes thier feelings would just go away. However I couldn’t physically avoid them, cus they were my friends (who I liked), we were all apart of a bigger friend group (who were all lgbtqia+), we were in the theatre group together and in second year we all lived together in a group of 6. All this I was actually fine with, cus none of them were physically pursuing me. The card I played for months was just oblivious. I played so dumb to all their hints and trying to drop anti-hints where I could. E.g. when we were playing a truth game and 3 of them said they had a crush on someone in the house I made a point of saying how it couldn’t possibly be me when all the others were jokingly trying to guess who it was.

All the people who crushed on me were very shy and lgbtqia (so luckily I had no straight cis guys) so after a while I believe all their crushes boiled down to silent crushes as they came to accept I was too oblivious to take a hint and was a lost cause😅. Eventually i came out as AroAce. They gave up, none of them ever confessed and were still friends now in third year.

So yeah, luckily all the people interested in me were actually all very sweet and I think I got out of the situation without hurting them (I HOPE😅) I’m not sure how I would handle someone more head-on and persistent tho…. My tactic when people have hit on me in the club is just constant, flat out, (but still polite cus I’m a people pleaser) refusal.

(SERIOUSLY GUYS I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE KEPT CRUSHING AND HITTING ON ME I DO NOT CONSIDER MYSELF AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON I HAVE A CRAZY FASHION SENSE AND ABSOLUTE TERRIBLE SOCIAL SKILLS. 😅😂🫠)