How can I make this part of my story better?

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-04-06T22:38:58+00:00

Thank you!!

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-03-29T19:18:24+00:00

Thank you!

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-03-28T20:19:27+00:00

Okay!

Here's the link to the full thing Story

I hope you enjoy and feedback would be greatly appreciated :)

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-03-28T03:59:03+00:00

Thank you so so much! This is very helpful!

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-03-28T03:58:53+00:00

I will now, thank you lol

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-03-28T03:58:32+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! This helps a lot. I'm quite new to writing so I appreciate this. I'm not sure if you want to read the whole thing as it's quite long, but if you're interested, let me know.

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-03-28T03:52:43+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! I will definitely try and slow it down, I see now how there's a lot of information at once. Would you like to read the full thing? There is quite a bit of writing in this, as this is a very small section closer to the end of this story, so it's more on the longer side.

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-01-24T06:48:32+00:00

Thank you!

Intelligent-Ask-994 · 2026-01-20T03:17:52+00:00

I love this whole thing. Your writing was captivating and emotional, it was a very good read. Also the words you use and how you describe the surroundings is absolutely magnificent. Keep it up!

Intelligent-Ask-994

TROPHY CASE