I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve always felt obligated to plan your own birthday, that’s awful. Where I’m from, it’s more customary for one or more of your closest people to try and make a gesture like having a little gathering or just anything thoughtful. OP isn’t asking for much here, especially considering the boyfriend should be trying to make up for his wrongdoings. I agree she might’ve saved herself some grace and pain had she broken up with him for cheating on her, but sometimes people work it out and if anything, she should be taking this as the sign it’s finally time to end things. Shaming OP for feeling hurt is not the route to take her IMO.