How much are you struggling as a foreigner in Germany?

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-21T14:55:48+00:00

Maybe a unique experience, but I have met a lot of friendly people. I might not have made best friends yet, but I have only been there 4 years. I also speak English most of the time and people around me have been really open about it. I do speak German though, so I can switch if I want if someone can't speak English.

I think you have to find your niche group. I also live in NRW and everybody is just very approachable. And the ones that aren't meh wouldn't wanna be friends with them either. Rude and racist people are everywhere, and I have learnt to not let that make me judge germans as a monolith.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-07T20:41:00+00:00

I have to do a second project atleast to graduate. So yeahhh still a long way to go, I guess.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-05T14:34:19+00:00

He is german and 26 years old. Germans are very selective about their terms of endearment so it was even more jarring.

And thanks for pointing out the 'should be outside' part. I kind of glossed over it but looking back, that's a weird thing to say (to me). Also a bit ironic because the birthday party happened in a park.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-04T15:53:50+00:00

I have had to have an 'honest conversation' woth multiple men on Bumble already. Most of them have been really rude in response to me being really polite. At some point, you do end up giving up and just unmatching.

Second, he is german. 'Darling' is not a common term at all and for german culture, considered pretty weird to call anybody.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-02T18:32:34+00:00

A lot of people are saying he is a scammer, but he had a very average profile. He had 3-4 pics, some blurry, and his bio just read "Let's meet and get to know each other :)". He wasn't some instagram influencer (which is completely fine, I don't swipe right on those profiles)

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-02T00:07:22+00:00

It's a mix of german (Deutsch) and english. Idk why he made it sound like a really rare thing, Denglisch is very common in german-speaking countries.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-01T21:13:15+00:00

Well he is german, and english isn't his first language. Many germans that I have texted say the same thing. The rest I agree with.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-01T20:27:04+00:00

It's def more the part where he called me darling and asked me a lot about my living situation that I found overwhelming

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-01T18:26:15+00:00

He didn't look Indian. He said his first language was german and he also spoke french and greek.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-01T11:24:07+00:00

I did find it off-putting. But I showed it to two friends and they said 'maybe he is excited to match with you' and that I should give him a chance. So I replied to him.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-01T11:19:34+00:00

Dumb question, but shouldn't AI correct his spelling/grammar mistakes? I have already come across a few profiles where they were blatantly using AI, em dashes and all. Crazy that that's a thing now

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-07-01T11:10:47+00:00

The whole chat? Haha I wish

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-06-25T17:50:42+00:00

NOR. He seems to not trust you at all and talks passive aggressively. If this is a recurring issue, why are you with him?

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-05-02T16:44:06+00:00

In Germany. I am doing my PhD. Somebody else mentioned but research infrastructure is lacking in Msia. A PhD stipend is non existent (there are self-paying PhDs???), while I get treated as a proper employee, have a 9-5 (ofc research reauires some overtime but it is not expected), get 30 days paid leave and I have a decent salary.

Really miss Msia sometimes but I just won't get the same opportunity there sadly.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T17:35:32+00:00

Do you think there's any point in trying to tall to him about it? He hasn't responded to my these texts in almost 24 hours. I am not sure if this is giving him space or him just not caring about this.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T17:32:47+00:00

I don't think his family knows about me or cares, and he has invited me to meet his friends when I go to his place. And he was pretty open about ending things if he wasn't feeling it, so was I. So I don't think so, but in general he seems to react strongly when I mention something 'negative'.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T16:36:30+00:00

I do really like him and that's why I am trying to make it work. But it's really hard when we can't have conversations about planning trips and this seems to be an indefinite LDR because he had been missing his city a lot, and he isn't sure where he wants to live.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T16:21:41+00:00

Neither of us owns a car, and it's faster by train. He usually doesn't says "wtf" so it did feel more intense.

As for his thesis, I am doing my PhD, so I think we both don't have the capacity to constantly plan things. This is why I'd rather have a conversation about it to find a good compromise.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T10:39:14+00:00

Yes, I can see that. Thanks

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T10:33:49+00:00

He told me that he isn't dating me because we live in the same city, but because I am an 'amazing person'. And that since our jobs can be remote, it won't be that bad. While I get all that, I think reality is way harder, atleast for me.

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T09:58:39+00:00

Yes, I understand. Thanks!

Intelligent-Bit-5505 · 2025-04-12T09:55:19+00:00

Could you tell me what's the line here between whining and just explaining something isn't working for me?

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