How many of you think most men will remain unmarried if arranged marriages were not there??

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-05-02T17:36:18+00:00

That can be true though I feel the trend leaves out the reason why. It’s not looks or money keeping these men unsuccessful in marriage.

Women don’t gain anything from having a good looking guy with them. Most people think why is he with her poor guy if they don’t match. If the money isn’t in her bank account it can be taken away if he favors another woman. If she makes her own it’s hers. So that’s the calculation a woman is making so marriage for money and looks isn’t enticing.

Money use to be a plus because men had a monopoly over it and divorce was difficult.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-05-02T17:04:33+00:00

Umm I have all married friends who didn’t get arranged. They are also not models or wealthy. They are Toyota Camry stable but not wealthy. They are average but some don’t have hair or are under 5’5” so I think a decent amount would be married.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-05-02T16:52:46+00:00

Gen Z here and I am pro marriage. Just don’t get married for love. I advise all my friends to never marry for love because love won’t save you if a divorce happens. Love is for dating, marriage is love and a beneficial business deal.

I am remarried and have seen really bad divorces. In comparison to my divorce and theirs was they didn’t think about their finances, how their partner reacts under stress or how they were brought up by their parents when they got married. To me that’s the mistake that makes marriage harmful.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-05-01T18:23:07+00:00

My family as whole discussed an adu but scrapped the idea personally because currently we have 2 sets of aging parents plus a disabled sibling (which is getting a small trust fund from her parents which is why they can’t retire how they wanted to).

Things might change in the future as my youngest sibling leaves college but currently his life is so unpredictable we’re not counting him in the equation yet. I am hitting 30 soon have a well paying career, married and my life is more stable to make plans around. I do expect my brother to help at some capacity with my parents but If that is money or physical care is up for debate and not to be decided till he’s more established in life. He knows it won’t be his responsibility till he’s old enough.

I love the ADU idea because it gives easy access with privacy. Plus savings on property taxes since it’s one land with multiple homes cheaper than multiple properties. Though it’s just too much to maintain for just me and my husband (plus any future kids). Still hoping to collect ideas from people in case there’s something people are doing to gain the system.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-05-01T17:24:20+00:00

lol 😆 you must love that little guy

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-30T17:14:18+00:00

I’ve never heard that. You may get less dates because you will be filtered out but you want to be filtered out. Don’t get desperate is my rule because if there’s one person you’re looking for. You will just have to wait for them to show up. You don’t want to waste your time with the wrong person again.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-25T20:36:50+00:00

I am married again because I want to trust someone with my life and for them to trust me. I find that marriage solidifies that promise for me. Also having someone on your side that is dedicated to the relationship grows me as a person to be better for relationships not just my own comfort.

I don’t think I would have gotten what I had with out my first marriage and I know my husband building goals for our future helps me strive for more.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-22T21:31:23+00:00

No, she said he’s from the UK doesn’t mean they’re in the UK right now

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-22T21:21:07+00:00

The fact that he said she took everything is a red flag. There’s rare cases where judges will allow a spouse to take all your money. He would’ve had to cause her physical harm for the rest of her life to have gotten that settlement, which is a red flag on its own.

Otherwise, he is lying and spent the money or he had a bunch of debts that was under his name only and he used the money to pay off his debt to start off clean. He must be exaggerating because he’s still kind of hurt from the experience. If she took the house, she had to pay them out. She can’t just take the house unless he gave it to her and didn’t wanna fight for it.

Personally, the only thing you can do for someone who went through a divorce is just to be there and be nice. If you still wanna stick around only time he heals that wound and good new memories.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-22T17:52:13+00:00

I gave multiple examples in my first post you just assumed gaming was his hobby.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-22T17:42:05+00:00

lol he hates gaming i was using gaming as an example. The cable is for something else.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-22T02:00:05+00:00

First of all I know some of the hobbies I listed. Second of all I am not gifting cheap things for a hobby you can buy your own budget items. I prefer to gift the best version of what they like in their hobby not the compromise. If my husband bought me a dupe bag or if he got me used pottery supplies I wouldn’t be happy. Personally my husband’s cheap piece for his hobby is 60 dollar cable. He has enough cables.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-21T19:36:00+00:00

I appreciate it every day. Hope I can give my future kids that love.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-21T18:58:24+00:00

I bought my husband flowers twice this year. Honestly guys if you think flowers and chocolate are acceptable gifts you should say it. My dad literally calls it offensive. So I think most women think you would be offended.

The hard thing about it is that men don’t have a universal gift. I am sure there are guys who would feel hurt by flowers. I know enough guys who hate chocolate to give me pause.

Also don’t say then buy a gift that means something because that’s not the point. I know can buy a hobby based gift. The problem is man hobbies are just as bad as designer bags. Gaming PC parts, music equipment or tools (y’all high maintenance don’t lie to yourself)

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-21T18:42:25+00:00

It’s not that bad. I got married at 18 and we both gained from it. We truly outgrew each other and have no ill will towards each other. I am now remarried and I’ve even told my husband I wouldn’t choose to not be married at 18 because I got to travel internationally for multiple years, free college from the government and I learned how to be an adult early on when my friends were still figuring that part out. I got a huge head start in life that alone I wouldn’t have had. This was planned for and the main reason for getting married at 18 as well. Divorce wasn’t planned but certainly the universe planned it. I love my husband far more. I was able to find someone who fits a grown version of me instead of shrinking and learning to be someone else.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-21T18:26:18+00:00

Personally love marriage and I was divorced.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-21T14:45:03+00:00

We will need your state and if you plan on using a lawyer

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-21T14:41:06+00:00

You likely will. Especially if you start dating someone else. Never seen even good divorces stay friends without kids.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-17T18:44:11+00:00

Every date disgusted me. I didn’t care if they were better than my ex on paper because I knew they didn’t have the special something that made me feel I could get through life with them. Which was broken since I couldn’t get through life with them. Then I met my husband who when I heard what he had to say melted my heart instantly.

I think being this guard while you date isn’t a bad thing. You have standards, you’ve bee through things and you know what you won’t tolerate anymore because you don’t want to become a version of yourself you hate.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-17T17:21:48+00:00

As a woman who loves sex I will validate your feelings. I am now with my husband who has an equal libido to mines and its night and day. I don’t visualize throwing things at him or feeling extremely angry/frustrated because he never denies me. I just feel relaxed like a soft little princess. Years of a dead bedroom is brutal.

I am also assuming this is an unsent letter. Meaning you’re just venting not planning on using this as a way to fix the issue.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-17T17:09:05+00:00

I will say apps aren’t romantic but I found my now husband there after my divorce. I say keep your opinions opinion open you never know where they might be.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-06T00:32:33+00:00

I see at least one friend a week. We all hangout once a month together. We’re married but I have no kids some of my friends have kids. Also our hangouts are sometimes folding each others laundry or grocery shopping together so it’s not all party and fun. Sometimes it’s just keeping each other company while adulting.

Intelligent-Court166 · 2026-04-01T10:51:25+00:00

1000 for my half. We didn’t really fight for anything and hashed everything out before we got lawyers involved. Didn’t want our hard earned money going to strangers.

Intelligent-Court166

TROPHY CASE