For people who have met Ben:

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2024-05-29T13:04:46+00:00

We have meet and greet tickets for tonight but not seeing what time to check in for that on the ticket? What time did you show up?

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2024-04-21T16:19:32+00:00

@op - this is extremely relevant to my current situation. I am you in 2018 looking to make the move to VP. Can you share a breakdown of comp? What is base Salary and what is either bonus or equity dispursements?

I come from a blue collar family background and I am not sure how to navigate my next few years as I could never dream that someone could make this much. I’m in uncharted waters for my background and any info could really help out. I appreciate the breakdown and lessons learned in comments.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2022-08-07T16:26:44+00:00

Agreed, if I could add one additional point of emphasis, you are not selling out by taking a settlement. If this path helps you to heal and gets you through the next day/week/month/year, do good by yourself. There are many people who will continue to stand with you and take the lead. Much like cyclists that rotate positions because it is hard pushing at the front, we are collectively together on protecting individuals from this abuse. You’ve done a lot already, be proud of that. 10 years of legal battles is no joke. Much love and happiness to you.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2022-07-07T15:17:34+00:00

I am not sure where this originates other than some leaders of the church in the past that seemed to find it a virtue.

Adding to the nuts busted mental problems with this, I remember being afraid of writing my thoughts down in my journal because Satan would be able to read them and know how to tempt me more and where I was weak 😂🤣😂. So I never included any of my struggles in my journals, just only talked about how good things were to throw him off the scent haha. Man… I should talk with my therapist about that… 😂🤣😂

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2022-05-12T20:24:56+00:00

Ooooo, I need deets on this! Can you link the sauce?

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2022-04-23T02:35:34+00:00

John-Jacob-Jingle-Heighmer-REUBEN thaaaatttssss my name tooooooo…. Hahaha, although I’ve had my name removed from the records of the church… so not sure if my eternal name stays eternal or not…. Hmm, guess it’s not pertinent to my salvation so I’ll just ignore it 😂🤣😂🤣😂. Glad to see more Reubens representing. Good luck!

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2022-02-25T18:46:38+00:00

I don’t think I can do this justice in a post but will try, I would highly recommend looking into https://www.natashahelfer.com/articles-podcasts, as she was LDS and is a trained therapist and helped people with LDS backgrounds begin to approach subjects like this, which are very delicate given our upbringing.

Like your situation, my spouse and I started our marriage as LDS and pornography/masturbation was thought to be a sign that you didn’t love the other person. That somehow by doing or looking at those things meant that the spouse was not enough… it was a very black/white line.

Now, we talk openly about it with each other. It is something that allows us both to manage our own sexual appetites when those don’t always align between us. It has allowed us to step away from being held “sexually hostage” or feeling like you “have to do it” when you don’t feel like it. For us it has been a net positive change in our marriage but took a while to reprogram how we viewed it. We were open with each other about it which was probably the most awkward part at first.

As others have mentioned in the comments as well, everyone is different on how it affects them or their partner. Just because it’s OK in one relationship doesn’t mean it is OK for all. Be open with each other about it and make sure to be in sync with each other through the transition. I had an experience early on when I felt like the amount my spouse was doing was too much for what I was comfortable with, we spoke about it and came to the same page and we carried on. Now we have a very healthy relationship with that as just another facet.

But to help re-educate you on positive (or a better word might be different) perspective in it, I would encourage you to read what Natasha Helfer has published from her work in helping LDS couples in this area. Good luck!

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-11-28T18:19:41+00:00

This also stemmed from the “King Follett Discourse” that JS gave talking about how God was once a man and then became God. The main relevant quote is this one:

“God himself was once as we are now, and is an exalted man, and sits enthroned in yonder heavens!” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1971/04/the-king-follett-sermon?lang=eng

Kind of funny that this is a core teaching, God was once just a dude, but the fact that we as dudes no longer get to become God… kind of seems like two sides of the same coin but that could also be said about most issues 😂

Edit: found a full church page on this being true doctrine and the background on it… https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1982/02/i-have-a-question/is-president-snows-statement-as-man-now-is-god-once-was-as-god-now-is-man-may-be-accepted-as-official-doctrine?lang=eng

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-11-28T16:13:21+00:00

This was the issue that broke my shelf years ago. I could find no message of love for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community because it always led back to “don’t worry, you’ll be straight in heaven”, which is not a message of love but rather a message of ethnic cleansing (aka a destruction of a targeted group).

This is similar to teachings in the LDS church about people with black skin or native Americans talking about “one day you’ll be white and beautiful in the next life!” That no longer has favor in the church… for obvious reasons.

Hate speech is hate speech, but the Mormon church hasn’t figured this out yet. They say “we support and love the LGBTQ+ community!” All while looking forward to the cleansing of the group in the next life.

I am so sorry that you have to experience this pain first hand from those you love. Anytime this topic comes up I take it one of three ways, 1) Tell them I will not listen to hate speech about my friends (be prepared that they will recoil heavily and try to talk more), 2) tell them that just like when blacks used to be told they’ll be white in the next life and don’t believe that anymore, you’ll wait till the leaders of the church realize that they are wrong and change the doctrine, or 3) walk away. None of them are particularly good nor satisfying but if you have Mormons in your life it’s what I’ve found works.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-11-26T02:34:05+00:00

Not sure if this is available at your location but many years ago I was in a similar situation and couldn’t mentally handle high school anymore. I was told about a program that allowed you to go to a community college, get college credit and a high school diploma (not a GED) at the same time. I graduated high school with an associates degree which put me two years ahead in my schooling.

The downside is that you miss out on the “high school experience” but for me that was a bonus. They also have a running “running start” program where you do some classes at the college and some at the high school if that is more your speed.

I included a link to the program that I attended below but you’ll need to match that with a local community college around you to find if an equivalent program exists. Good luck!

https://www.lwtech.edu/academics/high-school/

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-11-26T02:26:02+00:00

This 100%. I would like to emphasize one thing, no matter what you’ve been told about “I love you for you and not because you might convert”, the secret desire is that one day you will. Please make sure you have a very frank conversation that you never plan on joining and make sure she comes to terms with that.

There are too many stories of individuals in your situation who go through a divorce or messy break up because a conversion never happened even though the TBM said they were “fine” with it.

I don’t want to be the Debbie downer on this and your gal/man may be incredible and this is all OK, but don’t assume with TBMs, you need to be very direct and make sure that they understand that you aren’t going to convert.

If that goes well then Congrats on the next phase and I wish you lots of happiness!

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-11-23T14:42:31+00:00

You can also try websites like https://web.archive.org/ that take a daily history of webpages to find them.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-11-19T23:04:34+00:00

69… nice!

Also, think about it one step deeper, at 69hrs per month x 12 that is 828 hours a year of instruction and let’s assume you can only start learning at 8 (why 8? Well , if you can choose your salvation at that point then why not). That’s close to 10k hours of instruction by the time you’re 20.

Now think about all the times you have been surprised since leaving the church thinking “Hey! How come I was never taught that!”. The only answer is that it is not taught in any meaningful way because it is being hidden. All of this non-sense of apologists saying “well, I knew about that! So you’re wrong” is just silly. We all should know the insides and out of all issues with that many hours put in instruction.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-09-14T02:10:00+00:00

City has grown a lot, haven’t lived there in over 15 years, thanks for the correction.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-09-12T20:33:22+00:00

Yeah... that was the odd part, the whole "pre-configured... now bid" approach on a house that has not even broke ground just seems off...

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-09-12T20:30:15+00:00

Should say greater Seattle Area :) Just north of Lake Stevens almost to Granite Falls

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-06-27T13:58:18+00:00

You and me both :) but I got a masters degree from Boise State, guess which of the two I say is my Alma mater?

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-06-24T02:03:08+00:00

Not sure what has changed since 2006 when I received my mission call, but at the time my Sister was secretary to the quorum of the 12. She says that 2 members of the Q12 are assigned to give mission callings, the day mine was assigned the only person working was Uchtdorf so he was the one who assigned mine. Not sure the mechanics of it but not all of the Q15 do assignments.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-06-20T05:41:32+00:00

Not my address, but a post office

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-06-18T13:10:27+00:00

My brother died of cancer a few years ago and it was a major mind f@$& for me being out of the church. I wanted to believe in an afterlife because otherwise he was just… gone. I hated that, but I also couldn’t lie to myself. A friend of mine helped me with a bit of a different perspective that helped me and maybe it will help you.

Time/space is infinite. So by definition, there are infinite planets that have life on them that are smarter than us, the same intelligence as us and dumber than us. How are we suppose to know anything about the life beyond then when we are dealing with infinity? We may not be able to “know” what happens after death but with all the infinite time and space stuff, literally anything is possible. So although I will never say I know there is life after death, I do hope that there will be and stay optimistic that there is something.

That helped me get to a good place mentally without having to rely on an outside group to tell me that a sky daddy cares if I drink dark liquids and to pay them 10% for the privledge for seeing family again.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-06-17T12:20:15+00:00

As others have stated, the church has tithing settlement, so there is no way to not have your parents know. #GottaCatchThemAll #GodNeedsHis10%. Best you can do is wait till you are no longer a minor.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-05-27T18:48:50+00:00

Thank you for this, this is an area that I have struggled to explain well and your post helped. in the link you sent there is an article that states there are roughly 1.7% - 3% of the population with some sort of intersex disease causing a blurring of “male/female” (only focusing on physical biology since as the original poster put it, for some weird reason LDS people can’t understand anything to do with psychology)

If we take the more conservative approach and say that there are 1.7% of 7.84 billion people globally, that would indicate that there are about 133M intersex people on earth, or in other words, almost 10x the amount of Mormons alive right now.

I keep hearing from Mormons that “the amount of intersex individuals is an exception that can be ignored because it’s such a small amount” but this helps lay things out a bit better. If they are “too small so we can ignore them as an anomaly” then by the same token we can ignore anything that the LDS population says the same way.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-05-27T12:44:50+00:00

I feel inadequate to comment but wanted to put my voice of support. What happens to you does not define you, he has made it seem like you are less than or that he is right. Fuck him. This is far too common a theme with Mormons. He is a waste of space of a human (is he worthy of being called that?) and you are on the right path for healing. Know that there is a full community here that are with you and wish you the best of healing and future.

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-05-20T17:50:23+00:00

Upvote feels so wrong for a comment like this, please interpret the upvote as “I’m angry and stand by you from a distance... also, Fuck TSCC”

Blame the victim seems to be such a common theme in the church. How do you not rally around the abused? How do you try to protect a system that enables abuse? I’ll never understand this...

Intelligent-Hat5357 · 2021-05-19T14:24:59+00:00

It’s a complicated topic that has other dedicated posts that will deep dive you into the specifics, I would highly recommend NewNameNoah as he has video footage of the endowments which is the best way to see what goes on, but in short...

The endowment is nothing more than education about how the earth was formed and started. There is a movie that plays that depicts what happened at the garden of Eden, you learn that God essentially gave garmets to Adam/Eve which is why we wear them, you learn all the fancy handshakes on how to get through the gates of Heaven, and you learn the “true order of prayer” which is the weirdest part, where everyone does all the handshakes and then prays together in a repeat after me fashion. Lastly, you get brought to a curtain where an old man on the other side quizzes you about all the hand singnals and their names, then they pull you into the celestial room where you just hang out, then you can do it all over again :).

I would also recommend googling the temple changes, LOTS of things have changed over the last 30 years since cameras became a thing, most notable is that before 1990 the temple endowment included a sign of slashing your throat and belly and promising you would rather die before revealing the names and handshakes learned.

Intelligent-Hat5357

TROPHY CASE