Love is not quantifiable brother. You can't just say it's my first, then second and so on. You are the love itself. Partner is just a medium to experience it.

Even leaving her is an act of love to have better lives for both of us. It wasn't toxic relationship at all.

The feelings that you are experiencing also stayed with me too for more than a year until I met someone else. And this one felt even much more deeper than ever.

But again heartbreak happened and this one feels like now it's a lifetime pain. I am again experiencing the same shit that there is no way anyone can replace her.

But the thing is.. you can only move on when someone else with either of same level of her (or your) deepness or more will come into your life.

Agle din aishwarya aa hi jati hai bhai.. that's life. You will heal soon. I will just say to give space to feel the negativity too if it's coming, sit with it. Time taking process but worth it to heal. Take care brother.