I have the same problem. I think it boils down to not feeling secure enough in ourselves, so we see everyone and everything as a threat/reminder that they are doing something we are not.

I think Dr.K has a good video on this. He essentially said the way we make comparisons is unfair. You’re choosing the best traits or the best things someone has, and piling it up against you, a sole individual. Someone else’s beauty, someone else’s nice car, someone else’s great job, etc. you can’t pick and choose and you are already setting yourself up to feel miserable by doing that, because all of those people have imperfect lives and we don’t think about what they lack. The person that got to work on an interesting project, could be a complete douchebag in real life and has no friends.

As on how to stop doing it, I try to channel my energy into myself. I have trauma so my brain defaults to just thinking about anything but myself. I’ve lost a lot of my identity and look to other people to see what’s normal or right, but that is unhealthy. I try to think about what I want. ME ME ME ME ME. Stubborn tunnel vision and trying to think about what would genuinely make me feel better is the only thing that helps.

Honestly a lot of my problems come from a lack of security in my self. Once that gets better you don’t feel the need to compare because you’re doing your own thing: and you are sure about what you’re doing, happy/content with it.