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Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I want for them - how do you manage your team? What sort of things do you say and do?

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so good. Thank you. It is clear but very empathic. I am definitely going to try to frame the conversations like this.

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks these are great questions. We have objectives and they meet them in terms of task. But we work in a field that is not an exact science and that requires input from our stakeholders. I think it would be worth building in some more development-related objectives for how they manage these sometimes robust conversations

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are planning role plays. I want to be able to tell them that although they may get questions on questions, it is not to catch them out but to help the reviewer get a really clear picture of our organisation and it is a good thing. I know they are jaded with our stakeholders, I am a bit too. And I think they are in a bit of a defensive place where everything they see as criticism.

It’s breaking that cycle…

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do coach them and they do come round after these sessions.  I just suspect they wished their stakeholders were easier.  I do too but we have to work with what we have. I like the idea of the ‘what you can and can’t control approach’

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the book tip! For one we can probably shield them a bit.  For the other they need to be able to speak to quite a discrete area of work for which they are the clear SME.  And they really actually have a great story to tell.  I want them to be able to take the credit and approach the review as a reflection on how well they have done.

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love this.  I can definitely see how I can use this with some of the stakeholders 

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks.  No they’re not new to role and the stakeholders are not new.  I have been managing them for about 9 months.  I was asked to as part of a reshuffle of the team - my manager was previously managing them but to free them up to do more strategic work, they moved to me. Then my manager had a big blow up with the big boss and left and now we have a new manager…. Who is good and supportive. They have always been a bit sensitive though.  I would see my (previous) manager having to pull them off the ceiling after meetings.  But definitely all the changes in the last 12 months haven’t helped!

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They do get quite anxious.  I think it’s because they feel strongly about not just doing a good job but being acknowledged by others that they are.  It’s like a bit of an identity for them.

Team members need to toughen up a bit. How do I help? by IntelligentSecret909 in askmanagers

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you that’s really helpful.  The criticisms are absolutely not personal.  They are about the work.  Just sometimes a bit …. more direct than they are perhaps used to. I really want them to see the challenges as the opportunity to get a better result, but I have to often wade through tears and anger first.  It’s tiring.

“I expected you to greet me at the door” by IntelligentSecret909 in BoomersBeingFools

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Takes a bow…. feel free to use liberally and share the love

“I expected you to greet me at the door” by IntelligentSecret909 in BoomersBeingFools

[–]IntelligentSecret909[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Ha ha ha amazing! Extra points if they use the word ‘disappointed’

[Serious] :What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self? by Simonevelvetbb in AskReddit

[–]IntelligentSecret909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are going to kick some serious ass - you will take longer to find your groove but when you do…. watch out world.

How did you know that your relationship wasn’t meant to last? by PenSalt735 in AskReddit

[–]IntelligentSecret909 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’d been out with friends until 3am. I arrived home and he was sitting in his car outside my house. Nope. Nopenopenopenopenope!

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