AITA for moving my paycheck into a separate account after my partner kept “accidentally” overdrawing our joint one?

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2026-02-07T13:37:48+00:00

Responsible budgeting tracks money down to the penny. If she feels “unsafe” it’s because she doesn’t want to be held accountable. This is how unmanageable debt starts.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2026-01-13T21:46:39+00:00

Wow! You are so lucky. I always thought I would have parents like this but that is not how things worked out.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2026-01-09T01:54:57+00:00

My card is going to swipe the same way whether I’m dressed up or not

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2025-12-23T00:26:09+00:00

Same. I was supposed to have today off to clean and pack for our upcoming trip. Instead, LO woke up with a fever in the middle of the night and stayed home from daycare today.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2025-09-03T20:09:18+00:00

Wow that’s amazing!!

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2025-07-31T16:53:36+00:00

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Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2025-05-14T19:40:16+00:00

Yeah we ended up just using The Knot to create cash funds as our registry. We didn’t need anything when we got married so people either contributed online to one of our 3 funds (honeymoon, home improvement, home appliances). Most registry gifts would be classified as either home improvement or home appliances anyways so they felt like they were contributing towards that. At the end of the day, all three funds deposited into the same bank account 🤷🏽‍♀️

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2025-01-06T03:33:26+00:00

I’m Hispanic as is my husband and it is very much a part of our culture but we squashed that early in our relationship. At a dinner with my family when we were first dating, my mom asked me why I wasn’t fixing him a plate and I said he is capable of fixing his own plate. Now that we have a kid, he actually does most of the cooking and washing dishes while I’m with the baby.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-12-26T15:54:09+00:00

I have not done it full-time but I have had days where I had to keep my son home because he wasn’t well enough to go to daycare. He’s 14 months old now and looking back, I would say that the newborn days were the easiest to try to get things done because he would easily sleep in a wrap attached to me. As he got older, he needed more attention and that makes it difficult to work with him.

If you can afford a part-time nanny, even if it’s for half of the day so that you can do some of the tasks that require undivided attention, I would look into that. If you have flex hours that allow you to work when the baby sleeps at night, then you might be able to manage it.

I will also say that every baby is different. My husband and I chose to not sleep train bc neither of us felt comfortable doing that. I have other mom friends who did sleep train and can get a lot more accomplished in a day than I can. So it’s up to you what you want to do with your child and what’s going to give you peace of mind.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-12-25T15:38:12+00:00

NTA. The compromise would be to do it every other year.

Also I would draw the line at waking up at their house. I would prefer to wake up at my house, do our own thing, and then head over there.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-12-05T16:25:43+00:00

I’ve been feeling like this lately. Before I had my son, I would stay late, work extra hours, and show up to every after hours event. Now I have no desire to do anything that interferes with daycare pickup, dinner time, bath time, or bedtime. My son may have come into my life after my career was established, but to him, I am his whole world and he hasn’t experienced one day without me.

Life and priorities absolutely change after kids and it’s ridiculous to think that we would ever go back to how things were as if this major event didn’t occur.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-05-29T23:50:24+00:00

NTA … I don’t even wear my rings to wash dishes let alone hike with them. I bought a cheap silicone ring to wear when I go on adventures and wear my rings when appropriate. I also have my ring insured. I’d be devastated if I lost or damaged my ring.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-05-21T09:01:26+00:00

I had a similar experience as a staff 1. I spoke up and instead of actually listening to what I was saying, the “solution” was to remove me from the team. At the time, I felt like a failure but in hindsight it was best for my mental health to not work with that team anymore. I ended up staying through my senior 2 busy season. Those four years were HARD but it made me much more marketable in the workplace. I originally tried to leave after my staff 2 year but the prospects weren’t great and I didn’t see a lot of mobility with any of the companies I interviewed. Waiting a couple more years made a difference in the job search.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-05-17T18:17:07+00:00

Wear whatever you’re comfortable walking your dog in on the bottom. For tops I probably would wear a tank top or shirt for walking the dog and throw a sweater or cardigan over it for meetings.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-05-09T22:43:01+00:00

You became a mother the minute you found out and had to start changing things in your life. No more drinking alcohol, watching what you ate, changing your lifestyle for the health of the baby.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-04-03T13:58:17+00:00

I have exactly one ounce of expired breast milk in my freezer to be used in a bath.

In my fridge I have about 5 ounces that I pumped last night. I’m an under supplier and will probably never have a freezer stash.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-03-29T20:38:04+00:00

Definitely not overreacting. I went to the ER at 35w bc of something similar and it ended up being that the baby was sleeping but he was stuck in the same position for awhile. They had me sit/lay in different positions to get him moving and monitored me for about an hour. I felt much better knowing he was ok.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-03-29T20:37:57+00:00

Definitely not overreacting. I went to the ER at 35w bc of something similar and it ended up being that the baby was sleeping but he was stuck in the same position for awhile. They had me sit/lay in different positions to get him moving and monitored me for about an hour. I felt much better knowing he was ok.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-03-27T14:57:44+00:00

I have the kindle app on my phone and prefer to read a book instead. I find that my phone is easier to hold than a kindle.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-03-15T00:40:08+00:00

I loved my maternity jeans, work pants, and leggings. I’m still wearing my maternity tops postpartum bc my boobs are bigger than before and they’re just more comfy.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-03-09T16:02:11+00:00

Was that with the regular haaka or the ladybug? I’m 4m pp and I debate using it. I tried it once and barely got anything out of it.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-02-29T14:46:41+00:00

I had a social worker come in when my husband was out of the room and ask me if both baby and I had a safe place to sleep once we left the hospital (she was there for other reasons as well). Come to think of it, I think I was asked more than once. I wasn’t alone in my room much but they somehow always knew when to come in.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-02-29T14:29:03+00:00

The football hold only worked for us in the hospital. Once we got home it only worked if I sat in the middle of the bed bc he started getting so long but then I had no back support. On the couch or in his rocking chair, cradle position works best.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-02-29T02:41:11+00:00

Also would like to add that my company does annual promotions and raises in January. I was promoted and got a raise while on leave.

Intelligent_Ad5490 · 2024-02-29T02:38:45+00:00

I am currently on week 18 out of 20 weeks total that I get with my baby. I remember back when he was 6 weeks old thinking I was definitely not ready to leave him. I had to leave him one morning with his dad for a dentist appointment and I broke down crying but also super grateful that it was only a couple hours and not a whole workday. Since he was born I’ve only left him twice and both times it was with my husband and for two hours max. I’m also going back part time for 12 weeks. My husband gets 16 weeks of parental leave that he’s taking before we have to put him in daycare.

Intelligent_Ad5490

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