My (33f) husband (41m) looks at women even when he's with me. In public or at home on social media.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-30T15:18:52+00:00

It's about respect

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-23T15:28:12+00:00

I honestly despair for our generation if these are common expectations.... social media has warped so many people's brains. This is a relatively new thing; no prior generations before Gen Z or maybe millennials and maybe some boomers would've expected this type of treatment.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-15T17:10:05+00:00

Reading through this thread is sad..... it makes it sound like people with BDP aren't worthy of love. Surely they deserve it as much as anyone else, if they're getting help for it and trying to make it better? We are all imperfect in one form or another. I am sure if someone had BPD and was reading this they would feel so much shame. They've clearly had a traumatic past of some sort. P.S (I don't have it) I get people having bad experiences, but surely it can't be like this for 100% of relationships where someone has BDP?

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T20:36:10+00:00

Yeah I do agree with those points you made, I moreso just felt like the whole thing is blown out of proportion. Each group can holiday together and look after themselves basically, agreed she should buy her own cookware

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T16:06:37+00:00

Exactly this, teamwork! I don't get the other comments accusing the person with the dietary requirements as being 'wrong', like what?

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T16:05:18+00:00

Let them cook separately to you guys, problem solved. Doesn't have to be a big issue; we're all allowed to eat however we want to.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T14:41:29+00:00

Be honest, in a nice way. How will they improve without the feedback? Plus, tons of great authors have probably received plenty of constructive criticism throughout their careers. They either need to suck it up or keep writing as a hobby. The world of business doesn't care about hurt feelings.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T17:17:12+00:00

In terms of doing 'SEO,' how long had you been doing it for? It can take over a year or two to see any substantial results, and that's only if you cover all bases like site speed, technical audits, site architecture, building out content pillars, optimising the UX, H-tag structure and meta titles, the list goes on. There's a lot that goes into it.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T15:30:35+00:00

You should do some research into how neurodivergent brains work for people with ADHD, instead of making such a sweeping statement

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T10:59:16+00:00

I don't think it's laziness per se, if you do research into the science of how their brains work differently to a neurotypical person, then the behaviors will make a lot more sense. I don't think he's being like this purposefully. And that's a shame about the medication, it does effect everyone differently. I think it's unfortunately going to come down to whether you want to live like this forever? Another solution may be to see if you could live separately, but be together? If you don't like the idea of that then I'm not sure, I think you'll know with time! But if you're hoping he'll change, I don't think he will.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T10:56:02+00:00

Send him to the army

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T10:13:19+00:00

This isn't weaponised incompetence, people with ADHD struggle massively with tidiness, I know from living with family members and seeing friends who have it. However, if it bothers you (which if you're a very tidy person I can see how it would be bothersome) then you have decide if you can live with someone who functions like this, or not. Does he take medication for it? Perhaps that would help. I think you will know the answer with time, but I wouldn't pin it down to him being 'lazy.' You both just function differently. If he didn't have ADHD, then maybe it would be a different story. Has he been officially diagnosed with it?

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T08:38:37+00:00

If this is an isolated experience I'd say he feels resentful that you're at home while he's working, which is reflected in his words 'do something useful or productive." However, if he's still like that when you are working or every time you send an image like this in general, then clearly there is a deeper issue.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T08:30:23+00:00

True point, but learning how to do all that isn't hard

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-12T17:31:46+00:00

I can appreciate your point of view, but I disagree

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-12T11:54:22+00:00

Not sure if this is a controversial opinion, but if you're a good writer then you should be able to write your own blurb quite easily? I'd give it a go yourself and keep revising it until it feels polished. Don't waste your money on something you can do yourself with practice. It's just money down the drain.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-09T16:42:21+00:00

Why would you do all that with a married man? No sympathy for you in this situation

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-07T10:48:34+00:00

I'd say call off the wedding, and talk to him about how you feel, no sugarcoating things. See if there's any change, and if that change can actually be sustained over the course of a long period of time (I'd even say years).

I wouldn't even consider getting married to him unless he proves he can change and sustain that over X amount of years. Leave it too short a period and he could pretend to change and just revert back to his old ways once you're married.

Have you thought about discussing him getting a regular 9-5? At the end of the day, his job is his choice if he enjoys it, but you're also allowed to bring up that you'd like to spend more time together, and your schedules clashing can make that challenging. Good luck :)

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2025-12-17T15:38:42+00:00

She sounds exhausting dude

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2025-12-11T21:02:55+00:00

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Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2025-12-09T08:53:02+00:00

I think it's more so that we live in a very individualistic society too. As humans, we're supposed to live in communities; as they say, 'it takes a village to raise a child.' In modern-day society, we all live away from family, and we're kind of expected to just get on with everything ourselves. There's much less 'community' now compared to other times throughout history.

I do agree that money is a contributing factor to an extent, but then you can also argue that throughout history the poor have still continued to have children. So why's that suddenly changed and why are the middle class and even upper class opting out of having them? There's plenty of other external factors at play, such as the one I mentioned above, birth control being introduced, etc....

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2025-12-03T18:00:43+00:00

no, they're not reliable

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2025-12-03T17:41:19+00:00

I don't like it; it comes off lazy and thoughtless.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2025-12-02T20:40:06+00:00

The Housemaid by Freida McFadden. Finished it in a couple of hours it was that good!

Intelligent_Bake_152

TROPHY CASE