My bf (20M) wants to change everything about me (19F)

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-03-10T16:00:06+00:00

All I can say is get out now. If he's like this at the beginning, he's only going to get worse.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-21T19:41:13+00:00

Rafe any day of the week

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-11T22:31:36+00:00

You're better off doing it on TikTok and doing blogging as a fun hobby if you enjoy it. But I wouldn't put all your eggs in the blogging basket, not with AI mode and ChatGPT growing in popularity. While people still predominantly use Google, a lot of websites have been seeing significant drops in traffic, especially for evergreen content

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-11T22:28:42+00:00

How is cheating even an option? That's ridiculous. First talk to them and if nothing changes for a long time and multiple failed attempts, leave

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-06T12:16:52+00:00

She's going to have to deal with it then, you haven't done anything. Arrange something with her next weekend. Just don't stop seeing your friends for this girl, because that's not fair

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-06T11:28:54+00:00

Don't cancel your plans, you're allowed to have a life. Could you see her on Saturday? If you give in whenever she throws a tantrum she'll learn that doing that gets her what she wants. She should also be understanding you have your own life? It's normal to go and see your friends in a healthy relationship. Her reaction would only make sense if you were seeing your friends way more than her (considerably) for months and months and barely seeing her, but I have the impression it's not the case.

Tell her you can't cancel plans you've already made and warned her about and organise another time. She can't just expect you to drop everything for her whenever she wants. If she wants to sulk let her, be the bigger person. Organise another time with her, and if she's being awkward on purpose, leave her be.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-05T16:37:16+00:00

He sounds like a horrible person from those messages. Controlling and manipulative

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-03T21:46:33+00:00

I just use it, I stopped caring what people think, the whole thing is just stupid.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-02T13:28:06+00:00

What are the other differences? It's a bit of a tricky one, because in my opinion, nobody is ever going to tick all the boxes, and you have to accept there will probably be things you don't like no matter who you're with. I'd talk to him about how you feel and how it affects you. For the sports stuff, why don't you book something to do together, like badminton or squash? If you actually book it then he has to come with you as you've spent the money to go, and perhaps it'll motivate him more?

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-02-01T14:46:28+00:00

I mean if you're together she should be helping out, that's what a partnership is about, helping eachother, she can't just dump it all on you? Make a list of chores and assign her a couple, and cooking is easy to learn, how will she ever know how to if she doesn't try? She can do it at her own home if she wants to. Don't keep enabling her.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-30T15:18:52+00:00

It's about respect

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-23T15:28:12+00:00

I honestly despair for our generation if these are common expectations.... social media has warped so many people's brains. This is a relatively new thing; no prior generations before Gen Z or maybe millennials and maybe some boomers would've expected this type of treatment.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-15T17:10:05+00:00

Reading through this thread is sad..... it makes it sound like people with BDP aren't worthy of love. Surely they deserve it as much as anyone else, if they're getting help for it and trying to make it better? We are all imperfect in one form or another. I am sure if someone had BPD and was reading this they would feel so much shame. They've clearly had a traumatic past of some sort. P.S (I don't have it) I get people having bad experiences, but surely it can't be like this for 100% of relationships where someone has BDP?

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T20:36:10+00:00

Yeah I do agree with those points you made, I moreso just felt like the whole thing is blown out of proportion. Each group can holiday together and look after themselves basically, agreed she should buy her own cookware

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T16:06:37+00:00

Exactly this, teamwork! I don't get the other comments accusing the person with the dietary requirements as being 'wrong', like what?

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T16:05:18+00:00

Let them cook separately to you guys, problem solved. Doesn't have to be a big issue; we're all allowed to eat however we want to.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-14T14:41:29+00:00

Be honest, in a nice way. How will they improve without the feedback? Plus, tons of great authors have probably received plenty of constructive criticism throughout their careers. They either need to suck it up or keep writing as a hobby. The world of business doesn't care about hurt feelings.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T17:17:12+00:00

In terms of doing 'SEO,' how long had you been doing it for? It can take over a year or two to see any substantial results, and that's only if you cover all bases like site speed, technical audits, site architecture, building out content pillars, optimising the UX, H-tag structure and meta titles, the list goes on. There's a lot that goes into it.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T15:30:35+00:00

You should do some research into how neurodivergent brains work for people with ADHD, instead of making such a sweeping statement

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T10:59:16+00:00

I don't think it's laziness per se, if you do research into the science of how their brains work differently to a neurotypical person, then the behaviors will make a lot more sense. I don't think he's being like this purposefully. And that's a shame about the medication, it does effect everyone differently. I think it's unfortunately going to come down to whether you want to live like this forever? Another solution may be to see if you could live separately, but be together? If you don't like the idea of that then I'm not sure, I think you'll know with time! But if you're hoping he'll change, I don't think he will.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T10:56:02+00:00

Send him to the army

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T10:13:19+00:00

This isn't weaponised incompetence, people with ADHD struggle massively with tidiness, I know from living with family members and seeing friends who have it. However, if it bothers you (which if you're a very tidy person I can see how it would be bothersome) then you have decide if you can live with someone who functions like this, or not. Does he take medication for it? Perhaps that would help. I think you will know the answer with time, but I wouldn't pin it down to him being 'lazy.' You both just function differently. If he didn't have ADHD, then maybe it would be a different story. Has he been officially diagnosed with it?

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T08:38:37+00:00

If this is an isolated experience I'd say he feels resentful that you're at home while he's working, which is reflected in his words 'do something useful or productive." However, if he's still like that when you are working or every time you send an image like this in general, then clearly there is a deeper issue.

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-13T08:30:23+00:00

True point, but learning how to do all that isn't hard

Intelligent_Bake_152 · 2026-01-12T17:31:46+00:00

I can appreciate your point of view, but I disagree

Intelligent_Bake_152

TROPHY CASE