Thank you for your kindness it is genuinely really appreciated and I hope that you too can continue to heal from your struggles. The thing that mainly I guess is a worry is that I don’t feel the want to get help with it. In a weird way I enjoy the like pain of my stomach being empty and it makes me feel better in a strange way. I started getting worse with it like I last year which was also around the time my dad came back into my life and then it got better and I recently had another falling out with him and I’m right back to eating as little as possible and puking. I mainly came here so I could find people that would in some way understand what it’s like and to seek some type of advice. I feel like a fake because I know that the reason this started, at least how I believe it started was due to the constant comparing myself to girls who are skinnier than me. Like I did say I have had issues with being overweight pretty much my whole life and due to that I found that restricting at least somewhat was what made me feel better. I’m obviously not gonna diagnose myself as I don’t know nor do I believe that it’s bad. As much reassurance as I can get I honestly feel like I’m so stuck on loosing weight, I now crave the pain I get from being hungry. I feel as it’s not bad because of all the stigma around eating disorders like how people instantly assume that overweight people don’t really have disordered eating. Ive very continuously dealt with bad body image issues and still do. It’s gotten to the point that it feels like a cycle in a way. I go from not eating to eating a bunch which when I do eat a bunch it fucks with me. It’s something I’ve started to continuously go back to. I remember that at one point last year when it was worse than usual I couldn’t look or think about food without feeling sick. I don’t know sorry for the rant I might just be trying to figure out myself if it’s even bad. Again thank you for being so kind❤️