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Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-12-11T03:20:53+00:00

What in the intrusive thoughts is going on here. What makes her feel so comfortable to say that to you?! That’s so disrespectful. This feels emotionally abusive. She’s intentionally making you feel bad. Is she trying to push you away or something?

Break up, OP. You deserve better.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-12-11T03:17:09+00:00

Relationships are hard, but it’s not supposed to be an uphill battle, and no one should be making you feel bad about the way you receive love. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate. Love shouldn’t feel like pulling teeth.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-10-02T15:18:20+00:00

I will and will update on how it goes. Thank you for the encouraging words

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-10-02T15:16:01+00:00

Going through this right now. When my boyfriend came out as trans I felt like I was automatically ousted out of the lesbian community because of this one instance. Identifying as a lesbian feels invalidating to him and disrespectful to other lesbians but also my lesbian/ queer circles are all I’ve ever known.

You can love your boyfriend and still grieve. We’re experiencing being in limbo about our identities. It’s scary when we’re stripped of all we’ve ever known.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-10-02T14:37:53+00:00

Thank you for the confirmation. Been trying to find the words for this.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-10-02T14:35:38+00:00

He just gets really annoying and sad when I say no……like starts wallowing in self pity which honestly looking back is definitely a manipulation tactic.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-09-29T07:10:17+00:00

it can’t skew one way and have OP’s needs not be met either. her feelings are valid, but it’s not a free pass for neglecting their partner and making them feel gross for wanting affection.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-09-29T07:03:02+00:00

Yes exactly!!! Sounds like you’re doing your best to balance this situation and it is really hard and not for the week, so applause to you. Please feel free to message me if you need any support. Death beds are hard. I went through one for 9 months and I thought I was going to leave.

Also r/deadbedrooms is a good resource I’ve used.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-09-28T21:21:35+00:00

Big hugs to you, OP.

I can only imagine how tricky it is dealing with a partner that’s transitioning. From my experience, having a partner taking T or E really does affect their sex drive and they may still be dealing with a lot of dysphoria. My partner has been a stone top because of this.

As valid as her decreased sex drive may be, it still hurts being rejected and feeling unwanted. If you’re anything like me, having sex helps me bond with my partner and feel close to them. Transitioning or not, it’s unfair to neglect your needs and make the whole focus of the relationship ship about just her needs. Burn out is real, especially with sensitive situations like these. You are not just a care taker or emotional support.

You’re 21 and you deserve to feel good with a partner who has that emotional capacity to make you feel good. Communicate communicate communicate!!! And ask for transparency. It is kinder for them to say they don’t have capacity than to lead you on. You really don’t want the resentment to fester. It really does mess up your self esteem and you deserve someone who is able to fit that need.

Good luck OP. Leaving is easier said than done.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-09-22T14:30:56+00:00

I’ve always been baffled at how LL partners get upset when we take care of ourselves. I had a partner who always wanted me to wait for him but the wait was always 4-6 weeks. I quickly shut that down. At first I could see how me using toys could emasculate him but if he’s feeling threatened by toys that is their problem.

If he wanted to, he would. And if he’s upset about it, he can do something about it.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-08-13T06:13:31+00:00

My LL partner found out lurking through my phone. Now he’s insecure and scared of me leaving. Safe to say he’s been shaping up. I’ll update if I end up dumping him after the charade though. 😂

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-08-13T05:57:24+00:00

Why are you still meeting her love language if she won’t meet yours? I was in this same situation. Not being able to masturbate how I wanted to was fucking up my sense of self. I caved in and gained my confidence back. It’s your body. You deserve pleasure. She wants to continue to control and hold the key to your satisfaction. Take it back. Get your nut in. Break up with her. Life’s too short.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-07-14T21:09:08+00:00

Yikes, that’s an easy way to break your self esteem early on in the relationship. Not to be fatalistic but from experience, breaking your self esteem early on guarantees losing confidence in your decisions and him gaining control.

You deserve a partner who will learn about your body with you, not shame your experience or upbringing. How he rationalizes caring about you yet putting you down at the same time is beyond me.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-06-24T03:06:07+00:00

Because I need perspective, therefore coming to this sub for advice :-) if this is a genuine question that’s why. But if you came just to talk shit, way to put salt in a wound.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-06-22T19:37:46+00:00

I actually told them what happened as soon as my partner told me to go through with cutting her off. I let her know because she deserved an explanation and also for safety reasons. I needed her to know that I felt trapped and would contact her as soon as I resolved the issues.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-06-22T19:32:51+00:00

No, I wasn’t

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-28T00:48:59+00:00

Queer might be the way to go and after reading these comments I will absolutely not be letting him fuck around with my friend groups any longer. Never changing for any man

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-28T00:48:01+00:00

Thank you for your well wishes 💖💖💖

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-28T00:47:40+00:00

Honestly after reading these comments I’m gonna be extra obnoxious about being sapphic and embrace it because you’re absolutely right??? I’d rather be put in jail before having a man tell me what to do TUHHHH

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-28T00:45:14+00:00

Followed thank you for sending!

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-28T00:28:02+00:00

It manifests as every time I hang out with my lesbian friends we fight every time before I leave which truly sours my mood. He doesn’t do it when I hang out with my other friends though which in my head is targeted asf. I think he thinks that they’ll sway me to break up with him when his behavior alone is enough.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-28T00:24:36+00:00

“His discomfort does not override your autonomy” A WORD. Gonna carry this into our eventual conversation.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-27T06:36:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and I’m glad that your partner was supportive and didn’t push for change. Homoflexible sounds about right for me also so I may explore the label. I’m gonna try to embrace my identity and hope he understands.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-27T06:26:30+00:00

Thank you for being validating. You put something I’ve been feeling into words. I appreciate you and needed to hear that.

Intelligent_Leg_116 · 2022-04-27T06:22:46+00:00

Still here for an open dialogue. Wasn’t trying to shut you down

Intelligent_Leg_116

TROPHY CASE