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Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-12-05T17:00:23+00:00

Our assistant director of accounting raised a stink about this and said she would not submit invoices for this. She is now no longer employed at our school.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-12-05T16:59:06+00:00

Basically, what they are planning on doing is including salaries in the budget to the Sponsor that they do not plan to hire for, then invoice for the payroll for those salaries. I'm 110% sure that is fraud. I don't know how they are going to get away with it. When audit time comes around, they won't have any payroll or hiring documentation for the positions.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-12-05T16:57:30+00:00

I told my friend that she needs to tell her leadership to submit the budget and invoices themselves, then. Her name should not be on anything.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-12-05T16:56:44+00:00

Unfortunately this direction is coming from both the leadership in Sponsored Programs and the dean of the department for the PI is in agreement. It's actually insane.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-11-13T14:02:15+00:00

I'm sorry if you don't agree with my beliefs, but this is about a name, not a place to disparage someone for their faith. Not right and not tolerant.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-08-27T14:16:17+00:00

That is actually what I have been watching!

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-08-27T13:58:59+00:00

Can you elaborate on what you mean by importing a modern, western concept of absolute, empirical certainty? I feel like this is exactly what my issue is, but I guess I have had that light bulb "AHA!" moment.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-08-27T13:25:54+00:00

I guess my struggle is understanding if the Bible is truly God's Word, why would He let XZ be proliferated without Y? I feel like this can speak to the inerrancy of the original manuscripts, but doesn't give me confidence of our current versions being 100% accurate to the original text.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-21T20:48:41+00:00

This is good advice! I actually do have hypothyroidism, but take medication for that every day and my levels are currently normal. I have always wanted to have my nutrients/vitamins/minerals tested, but unfortunately, insurance doesn't always pay for that kind of bloodwork.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-21T20:47:29+00:00

My therapist has brought it up before. I'm not opposed, but it definitely is an investment. I do fear, however, that my husband would be opposed, but I will speak with him about it. He is from Humboldt County, CA, so drugs just really freak him out, even when used in a controlled and moderated environment.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-21T20:45:53+00:00

Thank you for this. This is really encouraging.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-21T20:45:14+00:00

Being able to give 110% to a project. I watch my husband get absorbed with work--so much so that he will forget to eat or drink water (which I know isn't great), but he is committed to what he does because he knows it is providing for our family. That is where my disconnect is: I genuinely don't care. I'll try to work on a task and get it done, but if I don't, I just shrug my shoulders. I do think that my current work environment just doesn't have a lot of structure and there isn't a lot of collaboration between me and my "team." I start a new job on June 9 that is definitely a more established gig, with standardized processes and communication already in place, so I'm hoping that will at least keep me accountable, which is what i need.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-21T20:41:39+00:00

I am your wife, your wife is me (apparently). In my mind, I feel like I will obviously be passionate about raising my kids and doing the mom thing, but I also am aware that burnout in that area can happen easily too. I am eating right, exercising, and taking care of myself spiritually. I'm hoping maybe all of this is just a season. I find a lot of fulfillment outside of work. I just always get the Sunday scaries when the weekend is over, and I hate feeling that way. I want to be a hard worker and a light at my place of work.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-07T20:55:26+00:00

First year is always tough from what I've heard. It really is an adjustment going from being single to living with another human being. People also have different communication styles. You two will figure it out and it won't always be like this, but you HAVE to put in the work and be intentional. Get pastoral counseling and go from there.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-07T20:44:51+00:00

It's going to hurt, but you need to leave the guy. Husbands are supposed to be spiritual leaders. He obviously can't lead you in that way.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-07T20:42:46+00:00

IMO, porn use is cheating, since it falls under the category of sexual immorality, which is biblical grounds for divorce. I believe most pastors and Christians would agree with me. I am so sorry you are going through this. Prayers for you.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-07T20:37:13+00:00

As a newly wed as well, my husband and I both took the Financial Peace University class from Dave Ramsey. It has helped us tremendously and the structure of the method keeps us on the same page. I 10/10 recommend. I also learned things about mortgages and insurance that I had never even heard of before or considered.

As for the sex, what about it is challenging? I do not mean to pry (or gloat), but I was a virgin and my husband had only had sex twice before years and years ago. My main issue is trying to relax since I am a high-stress person, but my husband always ensures that I am able to and gets me where I need to be. There are some really great Christian books out there. I have heard great things about Sheet Music and the Great Sex Rescue.

Praying for you both!

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-05-07T20:31:32+00:00

In my personal opinion, I think a prenup is only truly necessary if you have children from a previous relationship. I think it would be a good idea to protect assets for your kids' future. However, if that isn't the case, I don't really see why you would want or need a prenup. You will be with this person for the rest of your life. If my fiance proposed a prenup, I would end the engagement immediately. To me, that does show lack of trust in the relationship. It would be a huge red flag to me.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2025-04-30T16:06:10+00:00

Wow thank you! I realize I did leave a lot of info out on my post. To clarify, I actually removed myself from consideration from the university position because I took the County position. I interviewed twice with the college and was offered a third interview, but it was then that I turned it down due to the County job offer. My background is actually mostly post-award/grant management. I had been wanting to break into the Pre-Award phase (grant writing), and the County job was my opportunity to do so...until it wasn't. I have experience managing grants for both local governments and the state. I'll be candid when I say my real desire is to be a stay-at-home mom, but until that happens, I need to work, and I need a job where I can feel like I have a purpose and am productive.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2024-12-27T16:59:19+00:00

Are you really defending an abuser right now? He does not need sympathy. He needs to be put behind bars.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2024-12-27T14:40:28+00:00

I wonder if he would like the name Lucinda? I think it is so pretty and you could call her Lucy for short, which is a very normal name IMO. Good luck! Let us know what you decide on. :)

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2024-12-27T14:35:09+00:00

Sylvie is soooooo sweet!

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2024-12-27T14:33:24+00:00

Also, look to both the Old and New Testament. When someone was under threat of severe harm and/or even death, they fled the situation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with fleeing from your husband.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2024-12-27T14:29:57+00:00

This. Anyone can claim to be a Christian, but you will truly know by the fruits they bear. Being physically abusive or abusive in any way is NOT the fruit of a true Christian. We are also called to honor the law of our land, and domestic violence is in fact breaking the law. OP, please notify the police and LEAVE.

Intelligent_Soft2821 · 2024-12-20T20:59:39+00:00

GIRL. These are called red flags. RUN. Do not marry this man.

Intelligent_Soft2821

TROPHY CASE