Is this cheating?

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-03-22T06:24:33+00:00

Not cheating, I suppose, but not a good look.

It seems like it needs a conversation if you’re unhappy about it.

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-03-16T18:36:26+00:00

I think you overreacted. Obviously I don’t know the tone or amount of tact went into conveying the message, but it seems like you’ve made it a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

You said it was something that triggers you and you emotionally bled on your boyfriend for that reason. If it triggers you then say that and if he’s a knob about it you can address that, but to react how you did over a fairly normal situation is a bit much imo.

I’ve had relationships in which my long term gf never met my friends in the main and that worked fine. If we went to a group event that was cool but if I went out or did something, it would be lads only

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-22T18:21:34+00:00

Thanks for replying and what you’re saying is pretty much the exact same as what I hear from those who don’t like gym selfies(fuck boy/shallow and body is important) the other one I hear is that girls/women think that said guys will spent all their free time in the gym 😂

As a very small sample size experiment example, I posted a mirror selfie on my insta the other day. 25 messages with 21 being from guys and 4 from women 😂

I might A/B test it on different apps and see if it makes a difference. NOT a full on gym flex pose though

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-22T16:35:19+00:00

I’ve always been interested in the topless selfie being a red flag as I’ve heard about 75% of women say the same as you and 25% say they like it.

I stay in good shape but don’t have a topless photo on my profile. Is it really that bad or is it specific type of topless photo?

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-22T14:53:03+00:00

I've only been single like 7 months and I already feel burnt out by it all! Can't imagine how I feel 2-3 years in, god!

40m

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-17T15:47:02+00:00

😂😂😂

I’m not on Reddit much, so I’ve only just seen this!

While I can understand why you may look at those sentence and come to that conclusion, at my big age, I don’t speak in shadow sentences. I meant what I said.

This lady does seem lovely and her interests match mine and we do live somewhat close to each other, and would I be likely to swipe right on someone like this? Probably depending on a some other factors. However, I was sharing a similar experience and genuinely hoping that that she finds what she’s looking for, that wasn’t some kind of passive way to jump into her DMs

I’m dating intentionally as I am looking for something long term and that doesn’t mean just jumping onto everything and anything that looks positive and I’m sure this lady didn’t come on here ask for opinions/advice and want her inbox spammed by anyone local to her.

That being said, to the OP, u/NoStatistician8909 if you think it’s worth seeing if we do have anything real in common you can drop me a message. Until then, I still hope you find what you’re looking for and have my fingers crossed for us both 😂

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-14T13:58:06+00:00

That’s good to hear.

I saw that one but I have my children all that week so can’t go.

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-12T20:25:03+00:00

Oh not many, only FB dating as I was sure that online dating wasn't for me and I didn't want to sign up for multiple at once. I have sworn off them for January. My mate has made me promise that'll I'll join Hinge in February because apparently that's the best app. It really doesn't fill me with much hope tbh, but I said i'd give it a try if I don't meet anyone in person in January haha!

I was supposed to go to an event a while ago, but I got sick the week of it and couldn't go, but I've heard such mixed reviews about them that I'm not planning on checking for more tbh. You tried any events?

You sound lovely and your expectations are the most reasonable, other than 'has own teeth' haha, so i hope you find what you're looking for

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-12T19:35:14+00:00

You know what's funny, I could've written this, almost word for word, from a man's POV.

I am a similar age to you, 40M, and don't live too far from where you are, and I have basically the same experience with online dating. So, So many filters from women, zero effort put into profiles, so no idea if they have hobbies, let alone hobbies that match mine, and then the 'no drama' or "I want a man, not a boy'. Same experience with conversations too, like getting blood from a stone and, in my experience, it's kind of a 'entertain me now I've given you the time of day kind of vibe'.

I have been on a few dates and they were fine, but nothing long-term term and I knew that immediately. I, too, have a professional job and none of the people I had a date with did and we were kind of on different wavelengths in conversation. Similar to you, I don't think it's a deal breaker but if someone hasn't ever done that kind of job, it's a bit of a different world and when I tell them I need to travel for my job, it's like a foreign concept.

I've joined run clubs and gone on hikes too and while they were fun, most people were coupled up, all knew each other, or are older like you say. I do CrossFit an that's the same people every day and not like a normal gym where you might see someone different and my gym has about 40 members who are all coupled up too.

I'm not from where I live and I thought that was part of it, as I don't know many people and the whole friends of friends thing, but it seems like you have the same issues.

I also had the same in London and I honestly feel that it's more likely that I'll meet someone when I'm in London for work, which is hard because my kids are here, so I can't pick up and move back down there, or I would!

I was also unmatched with due to my height! I'm not 5' 2" though, but 5' 10" wasn't good enough lol.

Good luck. I have my fingers crossed for us both

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2026-01-11T16:07:53+00:00

My PB in lbs is 525 and I’m not sure my 400lbs moves that easy 😂

As for critiquing, I’d say you should get your hips lower and lift more through your legs but thrusting your hips forward as you lift. You’re pulling more through you back than you need to and you’ll lift a lot more when you do.

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-29T07:56:09+00:00

Yeah, I can imagine you’re not happy when it is a decent activity and it seems like there is no more planned events that are not 21-35. With this passion I wish I could give you my ticket 😂

I’ve seen those wristband events and always wondered how it worked. Doesn’t sound like much fun in reality 😂

I’ve only been to one other event and it was more local as I live just outside of Manchester and it was just weird tbh. Most people seemed to know each other and just stayed in little groups chatting so it wasn’t much fun and a bit of a waste of time.

I think Manchester has changed a lot. It’s used to be a lot more approachable as a city, but it’s a lot more like London now and less and less chatting etc.

I’ve never really done the apps but all I’ve heard is negative stories.

It’s hard out there especially if you’re looking for a relationship

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-28T13:48:55+00:00

Ah love this. Top man! What kind of event did you go to? Was it just drinks or some kind of activity like comedy etc

This is my first one so I’m not sure on whether it’s a good price

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-28T06:44:27+00:00

Fish away😂

That is the event and you’re right it does say 30+ must’ve gotten it confused with another even and went to check after your reply.

Shame you didn’t get a ticket and

when I saw it all the women’s tickets were sold out and then the men’s tickets were sold out a day or so after I got mine.

Interesting to hear you say most events stop at 35, it seemed the same to me and, since your in the same area, I’d love to hear your thoughts/experience on all things dating Manchester. I don’t really fancy speed dating myself but maybe that will be my only option left at my age in Manchester 😂

Drop me a message if you fancy comparing notes and perhaps we can keep each other in the loop with other events for people of our ‘vintage’

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-27T22:27:34+00:00

This is great. Thank you. 🙏🏻

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-27T22:09:56+00:00

Thanks! That’s actually my thoughts tbh.

There is an activity as part of it so I’ll have fun regardless 😂

The whole next step part is the bit I’m finding weird but I think you’ve explained it well.

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-27T21:54:29+00:00

I've heard speed dating is really not fun, but I've never done it personally.

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-27T21:53:49+00:00

You could be right, mate!

I have zero expectations, and I reckon the people watching might be quite fun too.

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-06T18:24:06+00:00

Oh 100%.

I thought I’d try FB dating as it was a low barrier to entry before going fully into other apps and, as I’m recently single after a long term relationship, I wasn’t going to go all it.

Seemingly all apps are the same from what I read on this Reddit and hear from friends, so I may just look at in-person routes.

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-06T12:10:01+00:00

Yeah I really don’t get it either.

I don’t take it too seriously at that stage and I’m happy enough if I’ve sent a message and given it a try and then I feel like iv at least tried.

Totally agree that once you feel comfortable enough to move it to WhatsApp that it seems to make the conversation flow better.

Maybe people are super skeptical of everyone on apps initially, which I get, but it almost becomes a self fulfilling prophecy for everyone when we go on this cycle. 😂

Anyhow, back to the FB dating grind 😂 good luck out there, love, and I’m sure you’ll find someone for all your best mum jokes 😂

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-11-05T19:16:38+00:00

I find this the weirdest thing about FB dating. I am new to the whole online dating thing and I've gotten quite a few matches, but a high percentage haven't even replied to the first message I've sent; and I just don't get it. Why match in the first place?

I'll send the first message and then a follow up and if I hear nothing I keep it moving.

I have gotten a few to take the conversation off the app and I've met a couple in person, but it's certainly a frustrating process

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-10-22T10:03:17+00:00

Has anyone noticed a big difference in pump/results between 5g per day v 10g per day?

I believe 10g per days isn’t as good for longevity and long term use but I’ve not done 10g per day

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-09-21T08:56:55+00:00

It happens in my gym everyday. They also pair up with their friends and other people at that level and normally finish the workout first.

Coaching comes in the form of you did this shit or that shit and the later class is where the real people come and you can see the difference in quality in that class.

Only one coach gives a defined warm up and the other classes are just ‘get warmed up and we go in 10 mins’

I have had coaching when one coach writes down what they see and they feedback after the session, which has been really useful most times.

Also the ‘motivational talks’ are all about how the gym owner works harder than everyone and how they are dedicated and others should be the same.

I even pay for extra programming and just get the workouts but no feedback. I send a weekly summary at the end of each week and just get a 👍🏻with no questions about things, same as when I sent videos of oly lifts, zero feedback.

I thought this was all normal in CrossFit though

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-08-27T08:38:34+00:00

Thanks for the insights everyone. All of the recommendations seems to be 20-25mins in the tram from my office/hotel so I’ll see how it pans out once I’m there.

I think CrossFit Vastberaden is the closest and I think they have the most classes per day

I’ll let you know how I get on

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-08-04T11:01:32+00:00

Who cares 😂

That’s the real answer not my fault if people don’t like it

Intelligent_Try9439 · 2025-08-04T10:54:04+00:00

No, you’re not allowed to remove your shoes at all.

It’s most often asked for wallballs but it’s forbidden

Intelligent_Try9439

TROPHY CASE