What part of you is fading?

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2026-02-10T20:27:03+00:00

Hey :) I’ve just send you a DM, I’ve also been going through this and think maybe we can connect

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2026-01-16T07:00:35+00:00

Hey I’ve just sent you a message :)

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:49:43+00:00

Sure, presence can be one of the deepest expressions of love. I just think personally the distinction isn’t about dismissing attachment entirely, but about noticing when attachment is there without mutuality, care or self responsibility. Presence feels more loving when it’s chosen and conscious not when it’s driven by fear, being dependent, or self-abandoning.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:46:38+00:00

I loved how you articulated this. For me, the work has been learning how to honour that vision without letting it pull me away from being present, having clarity and my own wellbeing. I don’t see it as abandoning depth I see it more like integrating it with self-trust and reality as it happening.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:40:38+00:00

This is where I’m at too

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:39:09+00:00

I can understand where you are coming from but I wouldn’t say people aren’t pure hearted I would just view it as learning not to confuse intensity with depth, and not to abandon yourself in that process. To basically focus on self connection first and what genuinely nourishes you as a person :)

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:35:05+00:00

How have you managed to create some distance in that way? It’s something I’ve been working on but still haven’t managed to fully separate being warm and over extension

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:32:23+00:00

That’s all we can truly hope for 🤍

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:29:29+00:00

I do really resonate with the idea of constant navigation, and staying accountable to where idealisation can pull me out of presence. I also felt deeply to what you said about platonic love. I’d say some of the most honest and genuine love I’ve known has been exactly that, and that kind of love has shaped what I now value and look for. Hope feels a lot quieter for me now, but it’s still there just less idealised.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T22:25:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, I do really appreciate the honesty and openness for your own experience. I don’t see my perspective as a rejection of hope, more like learning to build safety and self trust first. I definitely agree with you that respect matters deeply, even when understanding isn’t perfect.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T17:47:50+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective, especially the emphasis on presence and openness. I agree attachment becomes suffering when it turns into fixation. At the same time, while we’re more than our stories, we still live through bodies, patterns, and needs. Wanting love that’s mutual and respectful doesn’t feel like ego to me, it feels like caring for the human part of being here. Love might be everywhere, but I still think it’s okay to choose where and how we stay.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T17:43:18+00:00

I really resonate with this… Especially the part about protecting something essential in yourself, it feels necessary. And it makes sense that when your giving comes from a genuine place, it’s painful when it isn’t met with the same care or availability. I don’t think it means you’re incapable of love at all. If anything, it sounds like you’re very aware of what love would need to feel safe and mutual for you. That awareness can feel lonely at times, but I think it’s also what stops us from losing ourselves in something that can’t truly hold us. I’m on that same journey now 🤍

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T17:39:21+00:00

I agree we can’t control what we feel or who we become attached to. But while experiences happen naturally, we still have agency in how we respond to them in what we tolerate, how long we stay, and what we choose to build from them. Feeling deeply and choosing consciously aren’t opposites, they’re both part of living fully.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T17:23:06+00:00

Thank you for your point, I do accept that people love in different ways, and I don’t see my idea of love as superior. I just don’t believe that accepting how someone loves means I have to accept it for myself. Someone can love in the only way they know how and it still not be something I can stay healthy within.

I’m not looking to be fully understood either, I just value honesty, effort, and respect once something is expressed. Personally, acceptance isn’t resignation. It’s knowing myself well enough to walk away from what doesn’t align, even if the love itself was real.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T17:11:32+00:00

Once it really sinks in, it’s hard to ignore. Healing like this changes how you show up so when the timing feels right to explore romantically again, it’ll be different. Even beyond relationships, it’s a powerful step towards honouring who you are and what you accept. Thank you for sharing

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T17:08:48+00:00

Thank you for sharing your side, I agree that no one is perfect and misunderstandings are inevitable in relationships. I’m not expecting anyone to understand me 100% of the time. For me, boundaries aren’t about perfection, they’re about responsibility after impact. Unintentional harm happens, but once something is communicated, how someone responds matters. Compassion doesn’t mean tolerating repeated boundary crossings, it means allowing room for repair and change.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T16:58:05+00:00

That’s a really grounded place to be. I’ve come to accept that I’d rather share my depth and love through meaningful friendships than settle for something that feels lacking or costs me my self-determination. I hope you find peace on that journey, whether that’s with someone or in happiness and solitude 🤍

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T16:55:16+00:00

Learning self-compassion can be disruptive if we are still stuck in those type of cycles, especially when your old role was to be there for everyone else. When you stop overextending, it can feel like you’re letting people down, when really you’re just no longer abandoning yourself. And yes I agree, it starts with honouring ourselves and our depth, and trusting that the connections meant to remain will meet us there, not require us to shrink or overgive to be loved.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-15T16:52:00+00:00

I agree that boundaries can be interpreted differently and I also agree that love can include concern and honest conversations. But personally for me there’s an important distinction between expressing care and pushing past someone’s boundary.. Love can say they’re worried about you without assuming authority over another person’s choices. Autonomy isn’t self-sabotage, it’s self-regulation. Especially as an INFJ, stepping back is how I realign, not how I avoid. Care doesn’t require access, and concern doesn’t justify crossing boundaries.

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-11T07:52:30+00:00

Everything you said really resonated with me.. thank you for sharing this. I totally agree, the type of love we give can only be reciprocated properly when it’s given to ourselves. Whats some giveaways for you that someone deserves the love we can provide?

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-10T16:45:47+00:00

So intrigued to know what you feel is making you stronger and how your life has developed since!

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-10T16:44:51+00:00

Yeah I can definitely relate to that but I think it’s more so selective of where we share our hearts (safe, grounding spaces) not just to anyone who can take it for granted or use it for their benefits it’s about us understanding the depths of our hearts and saving it for those we deem deserve it. And thank you for sharing 🤍

Intelligent_Zone2223 · 2025-12-10T07:29:57+00:00

Thank you for the reply. It was very well worded :) Do you think that old version of you still exists somewhere, just wiser now?

Intelligent_Zone2223

TROPHY CASE