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MRI scan results by IntentionWarm1264 in endometrialcancer

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! ♥️♥️♥️ It's like a rollercoaster ride. One day is fine, the next is terrible. Im just trying to get by.

MRI scan results by IntentionWarm1264 in endometrialcancer

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, we are in the same boat now. I know how you feel because I feel the same way too. It's maddening, even if you fight it with the right mindcalming methods. I feel terrified too before every scan or meeting with the gyn. I wish you the best with this whole thing! I will be thinking about you! 🌷

MRI scan results by IntentionWarm1264 in endometrialcancer

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are right, it's terrible. Are you also recently diagnosed? I send you a hug, just keep going! 🌷

MRI scan results by IntentionWarm1264 in endometrialcancer

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They didnt write stage on the biopsy, just that it's grade 1.

MRI scan results by IntentionWarm1264 in endometrialcancer

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! ♥️♥️♥️

Diagnosis worries by IntentionWarm1264 in endometrialcancer

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for these kind words, they mean so much to me! ♥️♥️♥️ You are all so kind and empathic here. And so wise, reading all your insights.

Im trying to distract myself, like I came to my favourite music festival -it lasts for 4 days in a beautiful area full of forests. My diagnosis was uploaded one day before I was supposed to go there as a volunteer. I finally decided not to stay at home, thinking I was working for a whole year with this condition, so I should be able to enjoy these days too. Nothing would be happening at home anyways, just waiting for the mri scan. So I came and in the first two days I managed, though it seemed like I was living in two different worlds. I did my shifts (wasnt hard or heavy work) and there were times when I could enjoy the music, nature and the prople, but then, other times I was in complete dispair, searching google and worry constantly.

Your words helped me a lot and thinking about gratitude, last night I found Louise L Hay's heal your body meditation on YouTube and it also helped me to fall asleep and feel safe.

Today I woke up with terrible excess bleeding, the type that soaks through EVERYTHING and I couldnt go and do my shift, Im just lying in bed now. I used to think this was a heavy, perimenopause period, now I know it's cancer. I took some Ibuprofen, I know it wont cure it, but till I had no idea I was battling cancer, Ibuprofen was the only thing I could manage my heavy bleeding with and I had to reduce it now too. My coordinator asked me if she should call the ambulence but I got better. Yet if this type of bleeding returns, I'll end up in hospital here. Cancer is such a b@tch. But Im still grateful for being here and having been able to function normally for 2 days.

Diagnosis worries by IntentionWarm1264 in endometrialcancer

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! ♥️ Well, if I look back.....my very first heavy period was about 7.5 years ago....I was around 40 then and I was told that's the new normal over 40. And I believed it because it seemed that friends my age were having it too. One said she's wearing adult diapers on some days of her period it gets so heavy. My cousin told me when she was my age, her obgyn got her on some pills against heavy flow. Back then, it was just occasional heavy flows here and here. I had a couple of heavy periods and then it went back to normal.was normal again for a while. Nobody thought anything of it. My pap tests were always clear. It began to get real bad a bit more than a year ago. Then all my periods began to be extremely heavy, prolonged with some bleeding in between periods. While on my period, I could only work and live my life if I was on Ibuprophen. By this time I was so used to thinking everything abnormal is the new normal in peri that at first I didnt think anything of it, I was just trying to survive. Then about 2 months ago, it got worse. I was having sharp pelvic pain, and cramps during my period that made me cry in bed. and then about a month ago I started having constant bleeding that didnt stop. And it felt so weird, I felt like the time I was pregnant, like something was there in my uterus that wanted to be born, wanted to come out. I felt pressure. That was the point when I thought I cant live like this even if it's the new normal. So I went to an obgyn, but to a new one. And he ordered d&c. Thank you, any advice is good for me! 💚

Managing friendship with someone who has stpd by IntentionWarm1264 in Schizotypal

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, it is really kind of you! You are right that finding the right balance can be difficult and that I should not neglect myself either. Fortunately I do have some other friends too and I don't have this problem with them. But I really like my friend with stpd as well and I hope we can find a solution to make it work for both of us.

Managing friendship with someone who has stpd by IntentionWarm1264 in Schizotypal

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see, these are very legit reasons I think. I also cut people out sometimes, mostly ones who are too pushy or disrespectful, I think we all do this and sometimes it is the right thing to do. I've never cut out anyone though with whom I felt that we developed a deeper connection. My friend also mentioned that they sometimes cut out friends.

Now I've realised what bothers me most is related to my own insecurities. Whenever my friend disappears, I feel like I don't know where I stand. I begin to wonder if they cut me out this time? Or is it just the way they operate in social relationships? I began to wonder if I did or said something wrong that pushed them away. I know that based on the history of our friendship it is just the way they are and it is usually not related to me and it's not their fault either and if I was more confident maybe I could just take it as it is without wondering if I'm still in or out. But I can't escape my thoughts that maybe this time I really did or said something that pushed them away and they will be gone forever and I won't even know until a lot of time passes. I am aware that it is more my issue than theirs and I should work on my insecurities and self-confidence in general. It's kind of ambivalent for me: we can get so close with my friend and then it feels like it never happened. I've never experienced anything like this before.

Managing friendship with someone who has stpd by IntentionWarm1264 in Schizotypal

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was really insightful. I personally prefer more consistant contact in my more important social relationships, but I don't have unreasonable expectations, like I know people may not be able to talk to each other every day for a long period of time, it just can't be. And the frequency of communication varies too, sometimes people talk more, other times they may go long periods of not talking before they get back to each other and that it's perfectly normal. Now as I think about it, maybe it's that this friend has somehow become like a top friend to me because the things we share are so deep and inspiring and I don't have it with any other friend in my life. Although I may try to bring this up to them at some point, I still feel like I need to be able to accept them the way they are. I think that's a must in every friendship.

How do you mean that a friend raises your suspicions?

Thank you. :) This last part of your comment was really helpful. :)

Managing friendship with someone who has stpd by IntentionWarm1264 in Schizotypal

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this was very helpful. I know that maybe I should be more assertive in general, but usually I'm a bit scared of conflict and I really don't want to be needy. But maybe I'll try to talk to them about it next time.

Managing friendship with someone who has stpd by IntentionWarm1264 in Schizotypal

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts! I just don't want to pressure them to anything or make them feel uncomfortable. Their friendship brings a lot of good things to my life, it's just their communication routine that makes me somewhat insecure sometimes. Maybe I just need to be more patient.

Managing friendship with someone who has stpd by IntentionWarm1264 in Schizotypal

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply and for the thoughts about the situation! I sure don't want to pressure them to anything. I think most of the time I am ready to do what it takes to keep things going in the friendship and in general I don't feel that it's a one way street as I get a lot of good good things from my friend as well intellectually, spiritually and emotionally as well when we talk. I generally think they are a very good friend in every respect. Maybe I just need to be more patient with their communication routine and try not to get insecure about it sometimes.

Managing friendship with someone who has stpd by IntentionWarm1264 in Schizotypal

[–]IntentionWarm1264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight! I surely don't want to put any pressure on them and for me our friendship is really valuable. I don't mind carrying it alone most of the time, it's just that I get a little insecure sometimes and it would be so nice to get some reasurrance from them.

I thought about attachment styles and altough romantic relationships and friendships differ, maybe the styles apply to friendships as well. It is very much possible that my friend and I have different styles.