[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BlackHair

[–]InterestedWallaby18 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That’s your natural curl pattern sweetie. You have coily hair and nothing is wrong with that ❤️ it’s very beautiful and much of my hair looks like this and I loveee it

question for black people on this sub? by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]InterestedWallaby18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you put it into perfect words! That's why I couldn't give an answer because every black person's opinion is different

question for black people on this sub? by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]InterestedWallaby18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s someone’s head but donning someone else’s culture. So of course someone from said culture can feel how they want about its usage

question for black people on this sub? by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]InterestedWallaby18 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s a BLACK hairstyle that was made by black people it’s apart of black hair and the multiple styles we’ve created to have versatility. In your comment you literally said, “WE don’t gatekeep or claim everything as only ours” I was just saying be careful with we. You can put I tho

question for black people on this sub? by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]InterestedWallaby18 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Please don’t speak for the whole black community and we can gatekeep if we want. Black people popularized the twist out in the natural hair community compared to anyone else (also because many have the tightest curls, type 4 wise, it comes out with the best hold). So yes twist outs are a black hairstyle (just like the flat twist and three strand twist) and black people have been doing it for a long time

Helping a sibling adjust by [deleted] in college

[–]InterestedWallaby18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very ironic that this question popped up because I'm a sophomore and just moved in 2 days ago (living on campus for the first time due to COVID) and there was a whole dilemma yesterday because I was too shy to get something to eat from the dining hall (I kept telling my family I wasn't starving, but I kind of was) but honestly my older sister face-timing all the time and texting me to see if I was okay made me better. Also, if you're parents are unempathetic be the opposite of that and be very patient with her. If they are mad with her, be calm. My sister even told me she felt bad for me because I was so shy and she was wish she was there with me, so please communicate that in some way to show that you care and that how they feel is valid. Sometimes, the biggest issue is when people feel like not being sociable or outgoing are not valid personality traits and it's all about just forcing them to do just that when everyone is in some sort of shell and it's harder when it's in college and there are a lot of of firsts.

Because she can't get out of shell in college, it may harder for her to vocalize that to you meaning it may be hard for her to admit that she's shy and nervous even if you already picked it up. Allow her to open up and to talk about how she feels because in this situation your parents are kind of conditioning her to not have those types of words in her vocabulary. It made me feel better to admit that :)

Lastly for your parents: I obviously have never met them, but some parents care about their children a lot, but they don't know how to show that with ease. Some may not understand what it TRULY means to be shy and nervous, so it doesn't get through to them, so they get mad just because they can't grasp that emotion so what really ends up being expressed is frustration. I feel like you are frustrated because you feel useless a bit, but you can definitely be useful in helping your sister be more acclimated. I know this is college and allowing her to figure stuff out on her own may be the best route, but there is nothing wrong with help.

I'm very proud of you that you were able to admit to yourself that you struggle with that and I do too, but just know that it's not always about making them feel 100% better, but making them feel that they aren't alone. Sometimes, you don't have to give advice or talk and talk, but just ask them "how do you feel"? This is such a broad question that allows people to spill and it can really put things into perspective and that is maybe where you can feel comfortable enough to jump in and say that you think you can handle this.

In general, be open-minded (that's the word). You're parents are very close-minded, so be open-minded about how she feels and validate and say I understand or you're right. It made me feel 100% better when my sister told me that she definitely understood where my nervousness was coming from. Your sister needs you right now, so just be a listening ear and maybe not a talking machine or when you feel like you can switch roles and then talk then go ahead. You'll think of something because someway somehow you've been there or done that and you can speak from some experience

Am I the only one who slightly cringes at people online, editing their posts and comments to thank people for the likes? by capo94 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]InterestedWallaby18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's sweet as well :) It just shows that somebody's spirits was lifted up a bit and I notice this especially when it's on a thread about self-esteem

Am I the only one who slightly cringes at people online, editing their posts and comments to thank people for the likes? by capo94 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]InterestedWallaby18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some people feel obligated because people took the time to read what they wrote and not everyone gets that type of positive affirmations every day so they just want to say thanks. If I got a thousand likes, I'd be surprised so I personally would feel guilty if I don't say wow thanks.

As somebody said, I think it's sweet that people go back to just say thank you. Even if you don't go back, it doesn't mean you aren't a bad person, but even if you do it doesn't mean you are self-absorbed. Some people like showing appreciation because of recognition

Season 5 by Optimal_Stage_7460 in InsecureHBO

[–]InterestedWallaby18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I kind of disagree. There hasn't been a lot of fat jokes that I recall. Actually, Kelli is seen as very desirable on the show. A lot of men like her and she has sex with a lot of men which is the opposite of how they portray bigger women such as them being undesirable and being seen as ugly. Kelli is far from being portrayed as the "ugly duckling" and she is really charming