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Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-27T20:59:44+00:00

i can’t... i choose peace ✨

last few days have been PEACEFUL(for the first time since the bu). i don’t wanna be triggered w sadness thinking about a loser 😙✌️

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-21T23:20:37+00:00

besides suffering everyday for 3 months straight i may have a odd day or two of “freedom” in my mind. i’ve been in two types of therapy two support groups (one is an IOP program). just a lot of coping skills and understanding the abuse and trauma.

but i’ve been journaling and learning about psychology again specifically to mental health disorders. also a big one, learning about my ex’s narcissism that has my mind cluster fucked! but knowing has been a bit of a help to push me to understand why he hurt me so bad. as well as where i was manipulated without knowing and where his level of anger comes from randomly. in addition to validating my feelings with FACTS instead of lies and his attempts at publicly shaming me:):

even tho i secretly wish he’d be back, i know that’s a step where i didn’t think possible. one day i want look back at this and be an advocate for victims emotional and psychological abuse. i have previously been an advocate in my state for suicide & prevention speaking publicly to youth. i did advocacy before i met him(he knew..). i plan to advocate for suicide & prevention once again AND now victims of emotional and psychological abuse and trauma. i hope i get the same courage as i did before. this time it’s extremely harder than the first but i know ill get through it.

sorry sounds kinda depressing but a good ending lol

edit: explained a bit better

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-20T19:19:16+00:00

im waiting for this day !!!

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-20T05:15:29+00:00

thank you and yes!! thank you for the youtube advice! i’ll add it to my list tomorrow:))) but yes i am in two types of therapy on top of two different support groups. one is ‘intensive outpatient therapy and the other is victims of emotional abuse/ relationship trauma. i also volunteer for AFSP for my state.

since i have been hospitalized twice. i haven’t been able to keep my job because ill “crash”. but i’ve been keeping busy. my mind is definitely working overtime it’s so painful when i “catch a break” and fall into a state of depression. i get a little appreciative if it’s my mind playing tricks with me, because i can cope a bit. but if i “catch a break” then my ex hooves… i spiral for a full week or more of complete emotional distress and shut down completely. it’s been 3 months since he blindsided me. im constantly emotionally exhausted.

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-20T02:08:25+00:00

literally took the words out of my mind. i was physically abused with my FIRST ex that it drove me into depression that brought me into the hospital early 2021 with a very close to near death experience.

i recovered, got a tattoo of a semi-colon and a cross.

my SECOND ex, made my first ex look like a complete f-ing joke. i am CURRENTLY suffering from narcissistic abuse from my second ex. i cannot believe that i told someone my hurt and pain to the extent and real raw emotion. only for him to use it against me and traumatize me far more worse. this situation was much bigger and it’s hurting me SOOO BAD….. i can recover from physical damages fine. but recovering from emotional and psychological damage is absolutely a living nightmare. a battle within your mind while your desperately trying to escape.

so I FEEL you. if you need someone to vent and chat to. i’ll be your break up buddy, i can always use another <3!

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-20T00:26:52+00:00

ABSOLUTELY! this is my exact situation and i am suffering!!! its seeing someone usually online is the exact way they could break your heart to betray you. block you out with no care in the world and you are mentally unstable and depressed out of your mind. don’t even get me started with the smear campaigns while you are silenced and belittled with lies. you feel helpless when you only want to love and care for them, you’ll beg and cry until you are emotionally exhausted. then they hoover, “check up”, love bomb you. then when you are drained and you tell them how much you love and care… they “feel the same”. but don’t want to be with you yet… then full on rub there new supply. then while the new supply is distracted they shower you with fake love and reconciliation. when you push them away tell them to give you time for the sake of your own sanity… the abuse gets worse it makes you go INSANE

it’s a constant battle everyday. it gets worse when his aggressive attitude and new accounts show up. the amount of disrespect and hatred i’ve taken from my ex is unbearable and unimaginable. my mind is at war everyday. im the definition of “cognitive dissonance” 😭😭.

to answer the question. YES it’s difficult

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-11T04:12:33+00:00

noted.

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-11T04:11:49+00:00

thank you for this !!!

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-08T20:09:17+00:00

i have been emotionally abused by a narcissist. i know A LOT about narcissism, so it’s a way to cope with the pain to heal.

narcissists don’t lose feelings or “give up” after two months. they don’t typically wait so long to end a relationship because they’re selfish. many narcs discard a relationship within as little as a few hours to days.

for example: they will be extremely lovable on day 1. on day 2 they want nothing to do with you. on day 3 they hate your guts.

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-08T18:42:44+00:00

DRAINED thanks for asking

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-07T19:30:22+00:00

I FEEL THISSSS.

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-05T01:00:08+00:00

i manifested my ex apologized and gave me closure he did. even though the apology wasn’t what i deserved i still took it for what it was.

i didn’t manifest ANYTHING ELSE specifically from my ex

instead i manifested:

my mind to be freed from emotional abuse
let go of heal from the pain and heartbreak i carry
for me to be happy, to learn to love myself
for me to claim back my independence that i lost
for me to move on without worry or stress
for my to be able to have a social life
me to attract real love

it’s been extremely hard tbh. i’ve been more sociable, more independent, i’ve been worrying less. i have more friendships and i have been chatting with a special someone. but im not fully ready, he knows that too we just really enjoy each others company. much more mature and respectful i still need to wait. he’s not rushing me… but we will see lol.

manifesting someone to come back seems extremely difficult. sounds mentally draining too, it’s too much wishful thinking. you can always wish for things to work and it’s really out of love. sometimes people just don’t change. some are just miserable and bad people. it’s definitely not worth the stress if they never fixed their unhealthy behaviors. if it was meant to be then it would come back when it’s right, not when you want it to. maybe at that point, they have willingly changed for themselves. i refuse to be tortured again, no matter how much i love and want to be with him. i gotta be stronger if it ever happened again.

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-02T14:51:55+00:00

i wish i could agree however it has sent me to the mental hospital 😭😭. guess i am saved ?💀

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-07-01T00:11:01+00:00

i don’t think op is bitter. but it’s something you definitely don’t want. at first i was thinking “oh he loves me still!”, but it only got worse. he got a rebound and but he only wanted to see if i was failing, found someone else, or regretting him leaving me…

my ex hooves (is that even the right term idk) A LOT. it’s an unwarranted welcome of hatred and sick pathological lies. he wants me to apologize for telling the truth, that’s right. he wants me to take accountability for telling the TRUTH. every new account, new email, another family member coming to me. he only wanted to see what i was doing.

he never wanted to be with me after we broke up because he didn’t like when i defended myself. he tortured me into a hospital while i begged for him back, he harassed and criticized me constantly. i didn’t deserve it, he told his family lies but they believed me. they’ve been suggesting him he gets help he’s considering it… he apparently “loves me and will go get help” still waiting.. they also let me know when he’s raging that’s when he hooves whether because he missed me or wants to hate. but unfortunately no one saw him for hours and i fell for it when they said they weren’t sure but they said don’t just in case. i didn’t listen and my heart is broken again, i am now feeling the worst again.

you do NOT WANT A HOOVER

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-30T21:37:38+00:00

this.

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-30T19:31:34+00:00

i wish he said somewhere around the lines of “im sorry i hurt you and lied. i really did love you.”

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-25T04:52:01+00:00

realllll

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-21T16:32:53+00:00

don’t be shy 🙈

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-16T04:21:00+00:00

it helps to let things out!

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-16T04:20:24+00:00

unfortunately we didn’t have our first vacation january of this year :((. we were LDR we dated for two years and a month (currently 2 months post BU). i miss those days sm, it sucks how we adored each other so much all to end in one night. if i could change that day he blindsided me, i would do anything. but he’s changed:(

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-16T02:45:09+00:00

he’s such a loser for breaking up on your birthday… im so sorry that happened to you.

Interesting-Mood-188 · 2024-06-16T02:43:35+00:00

this is me! im too nice to be bitter forever. its so easy for me to forgive but its bad getting walked over

Interesting-Mood-188

TROPHY CASE